All in Charisma (A LitRPG/Isekai Adventure)

4. A Pocketful of Sarcasm



"Checking out?" the innkeeper asked.

Justin nodded. "I'm wondering where I might get some basic gear. A coin purse, a map, a pack..."

"You'll want to go down to the market square," the innkeeper said. "There are plenty of shops that sell those sorts of things. You might also try the general store at the edge of town."

"Thanks," Justin said.

"One more thing," the innkeeper said. "If you want your breakfast, I can get you a bit of bread and meat before you head out the door." She gave him a warm smile. "Wait right here."

Justin nodded, wondering what could have inspired this change of heart. Maybe that one point of charisma had made all the difference, or even his new boon.

She came back with a baguette laden with meat and cheese. It would be perfect to eat on the road.

"Appreciate it," he said.

"In return, just point any new customers to the Drunken Pixie," she said with a parting smile. "I have a feeling you might go far. Good day."

Justin nodded and headed out the door. He was already out on the street before realizing he hadn't even asked where the market square and general store were.

He walked and ate, and the market was easy enough to find, just a street over from the inn. Dozens of shops and stalls lined the central square, along with the towering cathedral, quite lofty for a town of this size, with the same phoenix Justin had spied on Alistair's armor. It must have been the Church of Light. Well over a hundred people were gathered here, buying, selling, and haggling. The air was misty and cool.

As the innkeeper said, there were vendors selling many goods: food, clothing, and even weapons.

He spotted a store that looked promising and headed inside. A friendly-looking woman with wavy brown hair greeted him. He wasn't sure how far five silvers would carry him, but he already knew from fiddling with his interface this morning that one hundred coppers equaled a silver. And a hundred silvers equaled one gold.

"Welcome, traveler," she said. "What can I do for you today?"

"I need some basic gear. A coin purse, a map, and a pack for starters."

"You've come to the right place. We have everything you need."

She led him to a section of the store that was filled with backpacks, pouches, and other travel gear. Justin selected a sturdy pack and a small pouch to hold his coins. Despite their size, the shopkeeper assured him that both were enchanted to hold more than they appeared to on the outside. The pack, she also mentioned, was enchanted to prolong the life of any food placed within it and was popular with local hunters. He didn't think he would be doing any of that—he simply wasn't equipped for it—but it was good to know.

He also picked out a map that was enchanted to fill in details as he discovered new areas, and a few supplies, such as a pocketknife, flint and steel, a pot, a canteen, and some basic foodstuffs, on the storekeeper's recommendation. After that, there was little left to spend.

"Is there anything else you need?" the woman asked, handing Justin his change.

"A bit of information, perhaps," Justin said, stowing the coins in his new pouch. "If you have the time."

"Well, it's been a slow morning, so ask away."

"What can you tell me about the Socialite class?"

She frowned. "Well, I've heard of it, but I've met no one who has it. It's one of the basic charisma classes, of course. Everyone knows that. I think you'll find some in the big cities. Most of us with charisma cores learn something that's a bit more useful, if we have the means." She gave a sudden smile. "As for Socialites, we don't have much need for that around here. Like any other basic class, the Socialite class can be adopted on one's twentieth name day by anyone with a Charisma Core Attribute."

Twentieth name day. So, a person wasn't allowed to pick a class until they turned twenty. And, as he had suspected, the Core Attribute for the class had to match.

She looked at him a bit curiously. "Are you a Socialite, dear? If so, you're far from the courts of Belmora."

"Belmora? Where's that?"

She watched him strangely. "That's the capital of Aranthia. Quite far from here, but you can make it in a couple of weeks by walking the Silver Road heading southeast from Mistwatch. Before that, though, you'll come to Silverton, about fifty miles away. Not the biggest city by any stretch of the imagination, but there's a lot of work there in the mines. It's definitely someplace all the young ones want to get off to. If you're aiming for something bigger, well, as I said, Belmora on the Golden Gulf is what you want." She gave a playful smile. "Are you running from something, lad? Or chasing a girl?"

Justin smiled easily, the instinct seeming to come naturally. "Why? Are you interested?"

She gave a good-natured laugh. "Well, I do like 'em a bit on the heavy side, but you could do with a proper shave." Her smile softened. "You aren't entirely unhandsome, though."

"That's a green light if I've ever heard one."

"Green light? A...strange expression. Where are you from, dear?"

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Justin played it off with a grin. "Oh, somewhere far and exotic. Where charm is a national export."

The woman chuckled, her eyes twinkling. He realized, with a start, that he was flirting. And more shocking—she was actually enjoying it. He couldn't remember the last time this had happened, if ever.

She touched his arm lightly. "You're too funny, dear. But much too young for me, I'm afraid."

"What do you mean? You don't look a day over thirty."

Her cheeks reddened. "Oh, stop! I am spoken for, after all. Is there anything else I can help you with, young master?"

He smiled graciously. "No, ma'am. Have a pleasant day."

As he walked out of the store, he pondered the conversation. Such flirtations were not his normal character, so he had to wonder if it was his class that was causing him to act this way. It was almost like an instinct.

[You have gained 2 experience points. Your experience stands at 2/200.]

Well, that was unexpected. He opened his character screen, and to his shock, saw that the experience requirement for level 2 was a full two hundred points, far more than the single point required to get to Level 1.

Well, he would get there. One day.

Out in the market square again, he retrieved his enchanted map and gave it a good look. It seemed to be highly detailed up to twenty miles, but after that, things became more nebulous, listing only major landmarks and settlements. Silverton was fifty miles away and was barely contained on the edge of the map. There was no sign of Belmora, so clearly, this was a local map. As he examined the map, his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

To his surprise, he could zoom in on the map and get a better sense of details, though it didn't reveal everything. He found Mistwatch, which was in the center of a place called the Wildwood Forest, in a country called Aranthia. The road to Silverton went southeast, over a range of hills, or perhaps even small mountains, called the Umber Range, with Silverton set in a pass within it. As the shopkeeper had said, it was about fifty miles. Fifty-two, to be exact.

He briefly examined other points of the map, but found there wasn't much information—just some cities, forests, hills, and mountains. The map was entitled "The Central Hinterlands."

"Interesting," he said.

He looked around, not sure what to do with himself. A sudden sense of loneliness and homesickness overcame him. He thought about his old life, how he had taken everything for granted there.

And now he was stuck here. Completely lost and overwhelmed.

He needed a goal. But what? Here, he could make his own life and his own destiny.

He took out a few coppers from his pocket, staring at them for a moment. He had a charisma-based class. Maybe he should try to make some money. Start a business.

Then again, he didn't have the Merchant class, and wouldn't get bonuses for owning a store or anything like that. It seemed all he could do was schmooze with people.

Could it get any worse?

Justin decided to head to an inn—a different one from before—to get some information. It seemed to be the thing to do in the games he played, so he didn't see why it would be different here. At the very least, it was something to do.

But as Justin walked down a random street, he couldn't help but notice how deserted it was. Skulking in the alley between two shabby buildings were two youths. They were both tall and thin, with greasy hair and scruffy clothes that looked as if they hadn't been washed in weeks. Their eyes flickered over to him, and they exchanged a few quick words Justin couldn't quite catch.

Justin headed for the open door of a nearby inn, but the two youths stepped out in front of him, blocking his path. One of them, who was tall with a pockmarked face, snarled at him.

"Hey there, Tiny. If you're lost, the pig pens are back on the farms over yonder."

Justin tensed up. He was all too aware that he had nothing but the pocketknife he'd just bought to defend himself. He could see the glint of greed in their eyes, and he knew they were after his newly purchased possessions.

Justin smiled as a line serendipitously came to him. "Lost? Just thought I'd take the scenic route and admire the local ambiance. But you two are really bringing down the local property value."

The second boy, shorter and skinnier, laughed. "Some sort of wise guy, eh? We saw you at the market square. You've got some silver on you, don't you?"

"Sorry. Fresh out of silver. But I have a pocketful of sarcasm if that interests you."

The boys didn't seem interested in his witty banter. "Hand over the silver, and we'll let you go," the taller one said, brandishing a rusty knife. "Otherwise, things are going to get ugly."

Justin realized there was only one way out, since handing over his goods was the last thing he wanted to do. He realized he had no choice but to use his Poison Barb skill. And his barb would have to be so good that it would render the first boy speechless for three seconds, allowing it to immediately go off cooldown so he could use it on the second boy.

That would give him enough of an opening to escape into the inn.

Justin activated Poison Barb, looking the two boys up and down, feigning boredom. He felt a surge of energy, as if he were tapping into some deep well of mystical power. Somehow, the Poison Barb ability allowed him to read his opponents like a book, to know exactly what to say to hit them where it hurt the most. He perceived that the tall boy was self-conscious about his ragged appearance, while the shorter one was ashamed of being bossed around by the older one.

"Ah, two scrawny weeds have sprouted from the cracked pavement." He eyed the taller youth. "And what is that? Unwashed hair? And are those garments you are wearing, or merely rags that have been scavenged from a garbage heap? I can smell the stench of your unwashed body from here, and truly, your presence is an offense to my eyes. I would not be surprised if they became infected by your foul visage."

The taller boy's eyes widened, and he seemed unsure for a moment. But after a few seconds, he scowled, and the shorter one couldn't help but chuckle nervously.

[Poison Barb refreshed.]

"You're going to regret that, you little—" the tall boy said, suddenly coming to his senses.

But before he could finish, Justin struck again. He was aware that the odds of stunning him again were lower, but as he saw it, he had no choice but to try. "Oh, I'm quaking in my boots! Do you want to know what really scares me, though? The thought of being stuck with your repulsive appearance for even a few more seconds. It's like you're trying to make me physically ill. I doubt even a rat would come near you for fear of catching something. You look like you crawled out of the sewer!"

Again, the boy watched him, flummoxed.

Good. It had worked.

[Poison Barb refreshed.]

As Justin took another step forward, with confidence he didn't know he possessed, he turned his attention to the shorter boy. "And you," he said, his voice low and dangerous, "you're just the tagalong, aren't you? Can't even come up with an insult of your own. Just do what your master tells you. How pitiful!"

The shorter boy flinched, his eyes darting nervously between Justin and his partner in crime.

[Poison Barb refreshed.]

Justin continued his barb chain. "You're nothing but a scared little mouse. But don't worry, I'm sure your big, tough friend here will protect you!"

By now, Justin had caused such a scene that a crowd had gathered. The taller boy took a quick look around and breathed a curse.

"Come on!"

He bounded down the alley, the shorter boy clipping at his heels.

Justin watched him go with a smirk, feeling a surge of satisfaction.

[You have gained 20 experience points. Your experience stands at 22/200.]

Justin shook his head. With the would-be attackers gone, whatever instinct had possessed him vanished, leaving his hands shaking.

Without further hesitation, he ducked into the inn.


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