Aliens and Dates

003 - Alien Invasion and the Salad Guy.

❝My problem? Honestly, I have none. But the universe... oh, the universe has a serious problem with me.❞

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BEFORE I HAD THE CHANCE to think, not wanting to make a hasty decision, much less do something stupid, people didn't take long to get out of the trance they had entered with the shock, starting to run away from the portal, in the opposite direction; some people simply got in their cars and sped off, some even crashing their vehicles into each other in a moment of panic, not caring about insurance or anything like that, knowing that they didn't have the slightest chance against the aliens.

And I stood there, staring at the wormhole as if I had the power to make it disappear just with the intensity of my gaze, silently wishing that this was a dream or a nightmare; I didn't care what it was, I just wanted it to end.

Is this really happening?! This has to be a fucking joke! And one of the most unfunny ones I've ever seen in my entire life.

It took me a while to finally come out of my current stupor, and that only happened when a woman holding a small child in her arms bumped into me with some force, knocking me to the ground in the next second with the impact, without even apologizing for knocking me over.

Let's be honest, who the hell would care about other people's education at the end of the world?

I did care, but not in the most normal way in the world, of course.

— "Shit! My dress, damn it! Can't you look anywhere, woman?!" — I said in a bad mood like I hadn't done in weeks, not at all happy to find out later that I would have to pay for this dress that cost an arm and a leg with my savings.

Oh, that's right, I had already spent it all in the last two months. Being broke was definitely not fun for me.

Getting up with some difficulty after the fall, not at all surprised to not even glimpse the ghost of the woman who had knocked me to the ground without warning, I slapped both my hands on the front and back of my dress a few times, as a way of trying to clean it a little. I know how dirty the streets of Manhattan were.

I was sure that there was a more than furious look on my face, as on my body expression (was that possible? Screw it, no one cares); making it clear that no one should mess with me at that moment.

Speaking of people...

I raised my chin, surprised to see dozens of people running in the opposite direction of the portal. However, unlike minutes ago, now there were some aliens on the ground, hurting innocent civilians who, certainly, had nothing to do with them, much less with their plan for world domination.

Frowning when I saw an alien holding the head of a woman who had a baby in her arms next to her... was that his face? Holy Father, and I thought the Joker was ugly when I was with him.

Without thinking twice, I grabbed the first thing I saw in front of me, which was a pair of high heels that had been lost on the floor.

It was from Channel and was even a limited edition from last summer (don't you dare ask me how I know that), but fuck it, in a war, literally, anything goes.

Shrugging my shoulders mentally, I grabbed the heel and pointed it at the alien, throwing it with such force (and perfect aim, not to brag, of course) that it hit what he called his face; the being from another planet roared in pain when the tip of the shoe hit one of his eyes, piercing him with such force that his skin split, and a substance that could only be his blood began to gush from the newly acquired wound.

Thanks to the pain that the being was currently feeling, he fortunately let go of the woman, still holding her baby tightly, who didn't take a second to run away the moment her feet touched the ground; watching her run away from the corner of my eye, hoping that the redhead would find a safe place, I continued to watch the being from another planet suffering, to the point of leaving his weapon on the ground, and raising one of his hands to his now injured eye.

I smiled as I watched this, more than satisfied with the pain I had caused. However, as expected, my peace didn't last long, especially when the being from space looked in my direction the next moment; as if he knew exactly where the attack had come from. Still, with his hand holding his injured face, the alien shouted in my direction, looking very angry knowing that I was responsible for making him lose one of... I don't know if you could call that disgusting thing an eyeball.

Unfortunately for me, other aliens didn't take long to look in my direction, most of them thankfully without weapons in their hands, looking as angry as their injured little friend, more than ready to attack me, and possibly kill me quickly and painlessly.

Okay, maybe I was being too positive in that last thought.

Realizing how screwed I was now, I simply smiled; a smile covered in many emotions, most of them being fear, terror, panic, and an extra layer of embarrassment.

— "It was really nice meeting you guys, but I have more interesting things to do right now than chat, you know. See you later, lizards!" — I blurted out to the beings from another planet, even though I knew they probably didn't even speak my language, seeing the perfect cue to run as fast as I could, cursing myself for having chosen a fucking pair of high heels to come to the meeting earlier.

Why a pair of high heels, Harley?! And a four-inch one at that? What do you want? Impress someone, grow taller, or just have blisters on your feet until your next generation?

— "How I hate being a woman. Fuck you, society" — I blurted out as I continued running, feeling my feet cry with each new step I took, my tone filled with the bad mood that had already become part of my sweet personality that day, which, oh, surprise, was getting worse and worse.

I was fully aware that many aliens were behind me — luckily only half a dozen because they thought that would be enough to deal with a human as weak as I appeared to be on the outside. However, I didn't want to risk looking back and seeing an army (exaggerated is my nickname) behind me, so I did the only thing I could at that moment: I ran with all my strength, surprising myself when I noticed that I was a little faster than usual, especially considering the torture they called high heels.

I'm sure I remember not being that fast in high school. I remember perfectly well the humiliation of coming in last place in an obstacle course race, as I was so sedentary as a teenager.

Trying to force my thoughts far away from my brain, in an attempt to pay attention to my steps and the amount of debris I had spread across the streets of New York, my attempt failed, and I found myself frowning, showing my confusion with this simple action by looking at my feet for a while, not seeing anything different from them at all.

However, before I had a chance to lift my chin, my body collided with something a little hard (which I was almost certain was not a rock); which resulted in the person ending up on the ground, rolling in the dirt for a good few seconds, giving myself a mental punch for not paying attention to where I was walking, and now being sure that my Hollywood dress was ruined.

Very funny universe, now make me become a Supergirl so I can defeat these pests faster.

— "Shit!" — I muttered angrily when I stopped rolling, feeling terrible to the point of stopping in the same position I had fallen in, now not caring about anything else.

However, before I could cry my eyes out, I heard the voice I mentally hoped I would never hear again: — "I can see you still have a dirty mouth, Quinzel."

I looked up in the next moment, with a more than obvious surprise present in the expressive lines of my beautiful face, surprised to see someone I never wanted to see again: Benjamin Lewis Montgomery.

Or, as he was affectionately nicknamed by me: the salad guy (and who didn't know where a woman's clitoris was).

Not even hiding my dissatisfaction at seeing my ex-boyfriend's poorly groomed goatee and ridiculous beard, I held back the curse that wanted to slip from my sharp tongue, deigning to just let my next facial expression do the job; my lips twisting in disgust, leaving a tiny gap for a remnant of my teeth to show, my eyebrows almost becoming one as I frowned, and my nose wrinkling as if the smell of a dead animal had permeated the entire room.

— "Get away from me now, or I'll kick you in the balls again. This time so hard, you won't even be able to give your father grandchildren."

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝?

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