Chapter 424: Deadpool III
Granted, those who were expecting a February-appropriate comic tale may have to wait.
As even Alexander, who's looking at these turn of events with a marketing and plundering foresight, can only mutter that it'll all arrive in due time.
There are still a lot of absurd Deadpool tales that are to be uncovered, after all.
Especially when it's at a point of expanding Deadpool's lore and exploring his origins in these early issues.
Alexander wasn't even sure of what direction he was going for just yet.
At the very least, he didn't go for the New Mutants supervillain debut that the original creators went for, only to be retconned later to be the hit comic persona that would come to be the foundation of the Reynolds-led movies.
Although admittedly, his Deadpool still isn't exactly the Deadpool that was.
But the same could be argued for the rest of his "creations". A plunderer's pickings and peculiarities, he reckoned.
Which calls back to which peculiarity he must pick...
With Wade Wilson being a deeply tortured individual and being a victim of circumstance, he turned to humor to cope with all that had happened to him.
His humor, unpredictability, and proclivity to break the literary fourth wall could be seen as a sign that he was mentally unstable.
Which inevitably stems back to the conflicting accounts of his childhood...
At one instance, Wade once recalled that his father abandoned his mother while she was pregnant with him... and that she took out her anger on him.
Later, he recalled that his mother died when he was 5, and his army officer father became abusive. Causing Wade to grow up to be a thug.
In another unreliable narration, Wade's father was a teller of bad jokes, who abandoned him and his mother while he was still a boy. As a coping mechanism, Wade's mother then turned a different humor with alcohol and home shopping networks.
The young Wade could only leave home, so that his mother wouldn't need to spend what little money she had left on him.
Unreliable as that was, it was eventually revealed that his parents were still together, living back home in Canada where he was from.
Of course, with Deadpool's unpredictable tendencies and Marvel's tendency to retcon what was established... there's a lot of peculiarities to pick from.
That's just part of it... and it's a matter that extends to who is Deadpool's most likely Valentine.
And Valentine Vuong isn't exactly the go-to answer since this Merc With a Mouth could talk his way with a lot more romance potentates.
From Ilaney Brukner... Ms. Marvel... Carmelita Camacho... Orksa... Anastasia the tattooist... Black Widow... Rogue... Outlaw... Siryn... Shiklah...
Some of those were even Missus Wilsons at some point... like Gretchen and Mercedes Wilson...
Even Spiderman deserves a spot in there but that's more of a gag... when compared to Wade Wilson's infamous romance with Vanessa Carlysle.
As grounded as that is, Alexander's point of interest was more on Deadpool's upcoming tryst with Lady Death herself.
To lay some ground for the next major Marvel event under his helm...
Thanos' dubious quest for the Infinity Stones would at least have one more absurd reasoning behind it.
Long story short, it is made clear why Deadpool's romantic experiences would still take a long while.
A long, long while... and when it does arrive... it can span plenty more than this season of love.
So, another man's love story wasn't exactly Alexander's top priority this 14th of February.
It's his own Valentine's that he's more preoccupied about.
If he delved his thoughts more on Deadpool and neglected those two, there's a chance that he'll be a dead man walking instead.
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Just a humorous jest, of course.
Hiring Miss Consigliere as his assistant came in clutch though.
Even with all his stock pop-culture knowledge, a woman knew best when it came to what little girls want in these sorts of things.
Leading to quite an eventful "double-girlfriend" date all of Saturday.
There's not much to say since it was just mingling around in some select hotspots.
The girls were happy and quite excited through the whole process. Must be because of the dopamine from those flowers or the sugar in those chocolates.
On the end at the end of it, Alexander was quite exhausted.
So... he layed in bed.
Milla and Drew were there to accompany him... but they were more busy sucking off...
Sucking off the sweetness of those expensive chocolates and the scent of those exotic flowers he gifted.
And that was about it.
None of those extreme couple stuff that Ryan Reynolds and Morena Baccarin did in that first Deadpool movie.
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On that note of extreme... something extreme was happening in an obscure part of the world.
Obscured by the lush foliage of the unnamed forest where the extreme matter took place.
Extreme in a way that made clear that some heavy action took place.
Those hole-littered tree trunks, those explosion-misplaced patches of dirt, those charred barks, and those still-ablaze grazes of grass.
Not to mention some of the extremities that were clearly flung away from here and there.
"Here and there" being the dead bodies and the still-warm blood that painted some of the greens to red.
Of course, some did survive in this tragic scenery.
The survivors being those who still carried their assault gear in alert as they surveyed the militia camp they just raided.
Unlike the fictional fella that recently roused up the imagination of nerds, these fellas were the real mercenaries.
Just finishing up the slaughter job that they were commissioned to do.
The fictional merc wasn't exactly not present in this mercenary situation, however.
For a battle-geared man that looks to be Mr. Driver was actually leisurely flipping the pages of the Deadpool comic book in his hands.
He was so out of place that the leading elderly man had to wack the back of his head!
"That hurts, General!" Mr. Driver grimaced.
"I'm retired." Retired General Pierce reiterated for the nth time. Also, noting his grandson's name on the cover, he interrogated. "Besides, why'd you bring that? And how'd you get a copy of it anyways?"
"Creed employee benefits..." Mr. Driver shruggingly reasoned and strangely hummed. "I'm quite taken by the little boss' new character but I can't quite figure out why?"
Old Pierce glanced over the 'Merc with a Mouth' and couldn't help but twitch his brows.
Because it had to be a coincidence.
Davidson here is his group's blabbermouth of a mercenary.
A gossipmonger is the best snitch to keep a close eye on and report to him about his grandson, after all.
How come his grandson out and published something eerily close to his driver's true character while they're sequestered away?
This can't be a coincidence, right?
Or was this what stupid Sullivan bragged about? Alex's parallel in his creations.
"You didn't blow your cover, did you, Davidson?" Old Pierce had to make sure.
Also realizing what was being implied, Davidson hurriedly explained in a serious military salute. "Not in any way, sir!"
"At least, I think so... since I can't really blab much to a person that doesn't care for it." His stint as the dutiful Mr. Driver wasn't so easy, after all. "Unless it's for something professional and necessary or if you're a very infatuated Ukranian-born songstress or a very precocious child star... the little boss just has that very particular bias when it came to human interaction."
That only served to make Old Pierce's brow twitch. "That doesn't exactly clear up anything, so maybe it's best you start to clear up the mess we've made."
Mr. Driver, or Mercenary Davidson in this scenario, could only say. "Aye aye, sir..."
And so... the operation to "clear up" began.
Fortunately, his fellow soldiers-transitioned-to-mercenaries weren't as cold and gruff as some grandfather-grandson boss duo he knows.
They're also quite experienced with this line of work as well.
So, it really was quite methodical for them to dig a big hole and dump the dead bodies in there.
Before the true burying process, it was like a pool of death and that uncanny connection to a certain Deadpool was... well... uncanny, to say the least.
At least, until that last protruding foot was covered by dirt... and then, it was almost like those weren't even there to begin with.
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Portruding foot was, of course, not a problem exclusive to dead-burying mercenaries.
It was a problem for a certain number of aspiring comic book artists as well.
One of them would be Rob Liefeld, who is always vexxed by his inability to draw proper feet! That, and his penchant for goofy anatomy...
Perhaps he'll never truly step "foot" into the comic book industry he aspires for because of that crux.
His enthusiasm remained unfettered though.
As he wanted to try and try again... and be like Alexander Creed...
Creating a ton of comic books like this issue of Deadpool that he's artistically studying through today.
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A Fabian Nicieza shared Liefeld's enthusiasm and aspirations. Only that he's already had his foot in Marvel's halls.
A Marvel that was reacting quite differently, by the way.
Whenever Creed producing a hit, it's like mounting pressure in these halls.
They're spared from those troubles now. Now, that they're under that hit-producing umbrella, he guessed.
They're even on their way to riding that momentum!
Too bad, some of those comic books already in the printing process were akin to a cesspool of death.
With a lot of creatives that previously manned creations having been pushed off the brig or jumped ship... in a way... some of these publishing titles were already dead or on the way to it.
So, Deadpool was good... but not all good.
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Anyways, as usual, when it came to these... DC was not too far off from giving their own reactions.
Only that it's generally just general awkwardness when it pertains to Marvel's new rising star.
Deadpool. Wade Wilson. Gun-slinging and sword-wielding mercenary!
Deathstroke. Slade Wilson. Gun-slinging and sword-wielding mercenary!
It's almost as if Creed was intentionally feeding them everything that they should bite on.
Yet the taunt was palpable... very obvious, even... and they more or less realized just how futile and embarrassing their previous attacks on Creed Comics were.
And it just so happens that Deadpool is not the only whammy that Alexander Creed was sending them this February!