NOVEL NEXT 44. Reaching Out (Tess)
"Theresa?"
The sound of Beverly's voice snapped me out of the thoughts I'd gotten myself lost in yet again, and I looked up with a start.
"Everything ok?" she asked, as she gave me a concerned look. "You've been a little distracted all morning."
"I'm sorry Bev," I apologized. "I guess the stress is starting to get to me? I've been putting in a lot of hours building up towards graduation in June, and maybe not getting as much sleep as I should."
I wasn't lying, but that definitely wasn't the whole truth. I couldn't really tell my boss and supervisor I was thinking about performing miracles alongside my girlfriend who was an actual Goddess. Or that I'd been trying to come up with a way to offer one of those miracles to a trans girl in my class.
Beverly continued to give me that concerned look for another second or two, then she glanced at the time. Finally she asked, "Why don't you take the rest of the morning off? Go for a walk, get some fresh air, or even just get some rest. I'll see you back here after lunch, all right?"
"That's really not necessary," I started to protest.
She cut me off, "I insist Theresa. I know you're pushing yourself, but you're not doing yourself or me much good if you can't focus. So take the extra time and try to get yourself back on track, ok?"
"Ok boss," I replied as my shoulders slumped in defeat. "Thank you."
Bev just gave me a smile, then headed back to her office while I got my purse from under the desk. I grabbed my spring jacket from the closet then pulled it on as I stepped out the doors.
At least the weather was nice today. It was still a bit chilly but the sun was out. It was just a few minutes after eleven so I had nearly two full hours before Beverly expected me back in the clinic, but I didn't really know what to do with myself.
It was enough time to walk home for lunch, and I might have done that if Amy was there. She was at college though, so I didn't feel like going all the way home just to eat by myself.
Instead I ended up walking to the nearest cafe, where I got myself a coffee and a little sandwich. Then I cut across the street and headed to the little park that was near the clinic. It was a lot nicer in the summer, or at least once spring was in full swing. There were lots of buds on the trees this time of year and a few of the early flowers had started coming up, but on the whole nature hadn't fully woken up yet from the winter.
Still, it was a relaxing spot and they had some benches and things. I found a spot with a view overlooking the pond where I could sit and enjoy my lunch.
As I ate I continued to think about the stuff Amy and I discussed Sunday night.
I hadn't really meant to push her into agreeing to use her magic to go around granting miracles to a bunch of people. But she'd obviously had similar thoughts, since she had those answers ready for me when I asked. She'd even considered things I hadn't really thought about, like how that sort of thing could end up taking over her life. There were so many people who could use her help, she'd have no time for herself and no time for me if she tried to help them all.
Then there was the idea that I could help folks myself, invoking her name and power as a cleric. That excited me but it also freaked me out. I still wasn't sure how it would work, or what it might feel like, or how I'd go about doing it. It also made me nervous to think about having that kind of power, that kind of responsibility. And that made me appreciate how Amy felt last summer, when she was scared of accidentally hurting people with magic while I was cheering her on and excited to see more.
By the time I finished my sandwich my thoughts moved away from the generic big-picture stuff and onto a specific topic. Or rather, a specific person.
April was in most of the same classes as me, I'd known her for two and a half years. We'd never been close, she was more of a casual friend.
And I was thinking about her because I knew she was trans. She'd even talked a few times about some of the difficulties and challenges she faced. She hatched during her first year at college and started her transition in either May or June that year. Her second anniversary of being out was coming up soon.
And the reason I was thinking about her so much the past few days was I kept trying to imagine how to go about offering her a miracle. Half of it was not wanting to come across as insulting, I didn't want to make it sound like I thought all her achievements so far weren't good enough. And apart from what she'd said to me or to the class in general when the subject came up, I didn't really know how she felt about herself or her body or her progress.
The other part was I had no idea how to let her know that I was dating a Goddess and she could wield magic and work miracles. If I just casually brought that up in conversation April would probably think the pressure had finally got to me and I'd lost my mind. Or she'd think I was joking.
And it did sound like the punchline of a bad joke, the psych student becoming delusional and believing she was dating a Goddess. Though it'd be more true to the stereotype if I claimed I was a Goddess. On the other hand claiming to be a saint or cleric would be a close second.
As I finished my coffee I kept running through possible scenarios in my mind. How to approach April, what to say, how to make the offer, and how to convince her I was serious, that I wasn't joking. Or worse, how to convince her I was sincere and not trying to mess with her or prank her about being trans.
In the end I decided I'd need proof. I'd have to make sure that whatever magic Amy gave me when I became her cleric, there needed to be something I could do in order to prove that magic was real. I'd need some way of demonstrating without a doubt that Amy and I could do stuff that defied mundane explanation. That was the only way I could think of to convince someone like April that I was on the level, that the sort of thing I was offering was real.
Except I didn't want to wait another two weeks with April. She was just as busy as me, and the longer I waited the busier she'd be, the less likely she'd have time to listen to me talk about unbelievable things.
I didn't want to wait till after graduation either, since we'd probably never see each other after that. We weren't close enough as friends that I could assume we'd stay in touch. So I really wanted to at least reach out to her and make the offer as soon as possible.
After going back and forth on it a few times, I finally pulled out my phone and texted Amy. I asked if she'd mind me inviting a friend to come visit us at the apartment, either tonight or tomorrow night, or maybe on the weekend.
My girlfriend responded within a couple minutes. She didn't mind, all she asked was I let her know which day once I knew.
I texted her a thank-you and some heart emojis, then checked my contact app to see if I had April's number so I could text her. I didn't, but I did have her college email address. So I sent her an email. I asked if she'd like to join me for drinks or dinner or whatever some time in the next few days. I told her there was something important I wanted to discuss, and I kind of hinted it was related to trans issues, but I didn't go into details. I gave her my number incase she wanted to text, and asked her to get back to me either way.
Once that was sent, there wasn't anything more I could do. She'd either respond or she wouldn't, she'd either agree to meet or she wouldn't. I had to promise myself if she ignored the invitation or turned it down that I wouldn't keep trying. Then I finally got up and walked around the little park for a while to try and clear my mind, before it was finally time to head back to the clinic for the afternoon.
It seemed to help, since I'd made the decision and reached out to April I was able to focus on the work rather than getting lost in thought again. The rest of the afternoon went by ok, and when it was over I found my girlfriend waiting for me in her car in the parking lot again.
"Hi cutie!" I greeted her as I slipped into the passenger seat. "Thanks for picking me up!"
Amy smiled, "Any time love. How was your day?"
I spent the short drive telling her how my boss gave me an extra hour at lunch to sort myself out after being distracted all morning. I was just getting to the part about my email invitation to April when we reached the apartment building.
As usual we drove around to the ramp for the underground parking, and along the way we passed by a moving van backed up to the loading dock. There wasn't anything unusual about that, people came and went often enough in our building. What caught my eye and completely derailed my train of thought was the ravenette goth girl who was standing to the side of the loading dock, giving directions to the two burly guys who were carrying a sofa out of the van.
The goth paused what she was doing and turned to look at Amy and I as we slowly drove past. She flashed a smug smile and waved, then her attention returned to the two guys standing there holding her furniture.
"She's moving in?!" I half-demanded as I stared at Amy. "We only just met her last Friday, and she's already got herself a place in our building? Did you know she was moving here? Or did you tell her to do it?"
Amy groaned as we waited for the roll-up door to fully open, then as we drove down into the parking garage she replied "I didn't tell her to. I specifically told her it was up to her, to do what she wanted. She did warn me she was going to move here, but she didn't say when exactly."
I sighed, and found myself frowning as I stared out the window while my girlfriend brought us to our spot and parked the car. I hadn't even had a chance yet to do any reading or studying about angels, there was just too much other stuff going on in my life.
Having Ravenna suddenly becoming a neighbour really didn't make me happy, but realistically I knew it didn't make much difference where she lived. She'd already demonstrated twice that she was at my girlfriend's beck and call, that she'd appear instantly whenever Amy spoke her name.
I just hoped having her in our building didn't mean she was going to try and get social with us. I didn't want her hanging out or visiting. And I wouldn't be happy if Amy was going to visit and hang out with her. Then I remembered my girlfriend already spent time with her, that Ravenna was one of Amy's online friends in her video game.
My frown lasted through the elevator ride up to our floor, and into our apartment. As soon as we were home I got myself a glass of wine, while Amy grabbed a can of cola.
She commented as we both sat down on the sofa together, "I know you don't like Raven, but I don't think having her here in the same building with us is going to change anything. She told me she and Amethyst never hung out, they weren't friends. At best the relationship was like a boss and an employee I guess?"
"But you're already friends with her," I pointed out quietly. "She's part of the group you play games with."
Amy sighed, "Right. She's an online friend, I never hung out with her outside of when we were playing the game. And that wasn't just the two of us, Leah and Kreff are always there too."
I shrugged, "Except now you know who she is, now she's a neighbour. And you know she'll jump and come running whenever you call her."
My girlfriend sighed again then had a gulp of her cola. After a few moments she finally said, "I'm sorry Tess. I'm pretty sure you're jealous of her, but I have no idea why. There's no way in the world she could possibly replace you, you're my girlfriend and I love you. Raven's... I don't know. I'm probably going to be nicer to her than Amethyst was, because I can't treat people like they're machines or robots or whatever. Amethyst might have created her, but I see her has a living breathing person. But she'll never be more than a friend."
I felt my cheeks going red and I quickly had a deep sip of my wine. Then I grimaced, and finally sighed.
"I'm sorry Amy," I apologized quietly. "You're right, I've been jealous of your angel. I know it's irrational, and I'm pretty sure I know why I feel the way I do about her."
There was more I wanted to say, but I was distracted by my phone buzzing with a new text. I had another gulp of wine then set my glass down as I fished my phone out and checked it. I sent back a quick text to confirm, then put my phone down on the coffee table.
"So my friend April is going to join us tomorrow evening for dinner and drinks," I said as I looked back up at Amy again. "Then I guess I'd like us, or you, to offer her a miracle..."
