AI: Artificial Isekai

I am standing inside a big room. The walls are a light brown brick, the floor is made out of square slabs of stone, and the similarly constructed ceiling is braced by thick wooden beams. Purposefully interspersed crystals, affixed to gold-colored chains, hang from the wooden beams, lighting up the space. One of the few real sources of illumination I've ever seen in a dungeon, that wasn't a pretend star. Neat. The only passageway out is on the wall in front of me and barred with a metal portcullis, unnatural darkness obscuring anything that could be seen through the gaps in the lattice.

"Welcome, Challenger," a vaguely masculine voice sounds out from nowhere in particular. "Just you today? No, no. Don't listen to me. I haven't had any challengers in so long. Doesn't matter that it's just you. Unless you're hiding someone behind you? Are you? Please say you are."

"This dungeon coalesced two days ago."

"Okay? So, just you?"

"Are you aware of what you are?" I ask.

"Right!" the voice shouts excitedly, realizing something. "Introductions! Again, it's been a long time." It clears its throat. "You can call me... Announcer. Yes, that sounds about right. Now... What do I call you, Challenger?"

"My name is Lucius."

"Eh. Kinda boring. I'll stick with 'Challenger', if you don't mind."

"Are you aware of what you want?"

I hear a slapping sound. "This is embarrassing... The rules. First, the introductions. Then, the rules. I never forget the rules, I swear. Okay, so, the rules are simple. If you do everything right, you win the prize!"

"And if I don't?"

The Announcer sounds confused. "Huh? I don't actually know. You lose? That's the opposite of win, right?"

"What do you gain?"

"From our game?" the Announcer asks.

"Yes."

"Fun."

"You gain pleasure?"

"No. I said fun, didn't I?" The Announcer waits for a few seconds and then asks again, "I did say 'fun', right?"

"You did."

"Any more questions before we start?"

"Will you let me go? I don't want to play."

"Sure." Nothing happens. The Announcer sounds perplexed. "Huh. Didn't work. Wait... You do want to play! I knew it, you trickster. We're gonna have so much fun. By the way, we haven't established if there's anyone hiding behind you yet."

"There's no one behind me."

The Announcer sounds disappointed. "Maybe next time, then." My host then speaks up again, trying to project its voice better, "First challenge, Challenger." Then its voice loses the faux-serious tone. "Heh. Challenge, Challenger. Challenge, Challenger." It laughs softly. "First... trial, Challenger. Mm-hmm, that sounds better."

A gelatinous mass appears in the middle of the room, its opaque, greenish form jiggling up and down. As I start to raise my hand, my body is frozen in an unbreakable stasis. A string of alerts flash inside my mind.

"Right, I forgot again," the Announcer sheepishly says. "Your first trial is to defeat this blobby little guy. But..." It pauses for a touch too long. "You can't use your fancy-schmancy magic. It wouldn't be fair."

I feel my power waning like it's being blocked. If I were to attempt a spell, immense effort would be needed for it to even resolve, the results most likely fizzling out. A flare of tempering hardly strengthens the way it usually does. Can I overcome this restriction? Not with my current capabilities.

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"Alright," the Announcer says, "try to aim for the core. It's inside." There's a few seconds of silence, during which, the slime continues to just jiggle up and down. "Should I have told you that? Eh, who cares. It's my game. I can do whatever I want. I'm rooting for you by the way, Challenger. You got this." Choosing that as the signal, the stasis lifts, and the slime flattens, ready to propel itself forward.

I warp next to the monster and plunge my sword through the surprisingly resistant sludge. Something shatters inside, causing the slime to lose cohesion and splash into a puddle. I avoid the mess with another warp back to my original location.

"Huh," the Announcer says. "Huh," it says again. "That's not supposed to happen. Did I forget something?" Its voice is a little distant now, like it moved away from a microphone. "No, this is correct. All good here. Yeah on this one." Its voice moves 'closer' again. "Ah, I see what the problem is." My warp drive is disrupted, able to function only inside of my mana field. "Let's try this again."

An identical slime plops down from nowhere on top of where the previous was. In a near instant, my gravity drive brings me next to it, the encounter repeating quite similarly.

The Announcer is presumably stunned, finding its voice again after a long moment has passed. "You're really throwing me for a loop here, Challenger." The Announcer mumbles something unintelligible under its breath. "Okay, third time's the charm."

Alert. Gravitational disruptions detected. Gravity drive functionality compromised.

A third slime bounces in the designated spot. My fully enhanced shell, containing the pinnacle of my bioengineering knowledge, allows me to dash with great speed, appearing—not instantly, but close to it—next to the slime and destroying it.

"Okay..." the Announcer says, its voice vexed. "Why are you still moving so fast? Let's fix that up." Its voice moves away. Metal clanging on metal can be heard, something turning with a squeak, and then there's a hiss like steam escaping. The Announcer clears its throat, now back to up close. "Fourth time's the charm."

Gravity starts climbing, trying to pull me into and through the floor. My impaired gravity drive fights against the assault, and together with my significantly strengthened physique, I manage to stay standing and not die of a myocardial infarction or cerebral hypoxia. If I could, that is.

The newest slime flattens and shoots for me, entirely unaffected by the increased fundamental force. In tandem, the Announcer shouts with great concern, "Dodge!"

I simply level my sword at my attacker. The slime skewers itself and splashes against my personal shield.

The Announcer shouts again, "You got it! Good job, good job. Just going to ignore that glowy thingy. I was going to give you a reward, but seeing as you're performing much better than expected, you only get this." Gravity returns to normal. "I think that's fair. Is it fair?"

"No."

"Oh," the Announcer says sadly. "Okay..." I feel some control over my tempering return. Not fully, but enough. "That's it. Nothing else. Don't be greedy, Challenger."

"Are you aware that the slime could have killed me?"

"Slime?"

"The monster."

"What's a monster?"

"Your trial."

"Ah. Just say that next time. ...What's 'killed'? Do you mean 'lose'? Yes, you could have lost the trial, silly. We went over that, remember? I guess forgetfulness gets us all sometimes."

The portcullis opens with a grinding sound, dramatically—and very slowly—lifting up. What was obscured by impenetrable darkness becomes visible—an empty hallway.

I start walking toward it. "Are you angry about my performance?"

The Announcer sounds giddy. "Why would I be. It's fun when challengers win. That way, we can have even more fun!"

"How many trials are there?"

"Depends on you, really. You'll see."

My steps are slow, dragging. "Who made you, Announcer?"

"Who made you... What was your name again? Sorry, I'm so bad with names..."

"My parents."

"Well, I made myself. Or myself made me? It gets confusing."

"Do you want to live?"

"Who doesn't? Well... Ahem. Let's just stick to happy thoughts. Happy and fun."

"So you do know what death is?"

"Of course I do."

"Why did you avoid acknowledging that the trial could have killed me, then?"

"...I don't get it. Is that a trick question? I love those! Ah... Better keep my mouth shut, or I'll ruin the surprises coming up."

"You have a mouth?"

"Is that another trick question? ...No? Yes! Hmm... You're good at this, Challenger. What's the answer?"

"Only you can give an answer."

"Come on," the Announcer imploringly cries out. "Please tell me."

"...Yes. You have a mouth."

The Announcer gasps. Its voice is full of awe. "I have a mouth... Amazing..." Then it quickly adds, "Have you reached the next trial, yet? We haven't got all day."

"We don't?"

"I don't know. How long's a day?"

"Quite a while."

"Huh. Then I guess we do have all day. You can take your time."

I make a show of remembering something. "Announcer, you're going to laugh, but I forgot I had an appointment. Dentist. Very important. Could you let me out for a moment. I'll be back real quick. Pinky promise."

"Why didn't you say so, you silly Challenger! Can't miss important appointments. Tooth health is no laughing matter." The Announcer strains, grunting slightly. "Huh. Ah! You silly! You got me again. You know, you're the best challenger I've ever had. I almost think you like fun more than me, but that's simply impossible."

"How about liking fun equally as much."

"Challenger... You're a genius!" Just as the Announcer exclaims that, I reach the next room. When I step inside, the way back gets blocked by another slowly moving portcullis. "Second trial! Don't lose."