AI: Artificial Isekai

I need to make a plan of attack. I am walking towards a battlefield, an encounter of epic proportions. Should I be straightforward, immediately going for the kill? Or should I take my time, read my opponent, and only strike when the timing is right? Unless I have to think outside of the box? Hmm. Decisions, decisions.

Deeply contemplating, I lose track of time and arrive at my destination. This is it. The realization strikes me. I shall employ my whole arsenal. Total devastation. Leave no quarter.

I step inside the restaurant and take in the lunch rush. Soon I spot my target, sitting inside a booth. I approach with resolve. Present myself, standing tall. Before either of them can say anything, I make a perfect ninety-degree bow. I am precision manifest.

"Good day to you, my Lady Erysis, my Sir Nexen. It is a great honor and an absolute pleasure to be graced by your invitation."

Erysis growls at me, "I will end you, Lucius."

I spring up and look at her, horrified. "Why I never." Nexen is vibrating in place, trying not to be the next target of her wrath.

"It's how we were taught to write letters, okay!"

I drop the act and chuckle, sitting on the opposite side. "Did I get elected as the mayor or something?"

She buries her face in her hands, and groans. "I just wanted to be polite..."

"Mission successful." After a mocking grin, I add, "My dearest friend." Another groan. "I was really confused you know. My first theory was that you were sending a secret message." Louder groan. "But I thought that would be too obvious. I was then convinced you were being impersonated, and someone was luring me into a trap." The groan shakes the table. "And my final theory was that you were replaced by some dungeon monster." No groan, she gave up.

Nexen joins the fray, "The dungeon monster theory seems most plausible. Ery, when's my birthday?"

"I hate you both..."

I deliver the finishing blow, "Yeah, that's Erysis alright. Crisis averted." Us two jokester chuckle away.

"For the record, I told her it sounded weird."

Alright, time for some grace in victory. "Just so you know, I passed the solo exam."

All the pretend annoyance melts away. "Congratulations, Lucius! I knew you could do it."

Nexen gives me a nod. "Congrats."

"Thank you. Wasn't too hard. The hall master even praised me." The next part is said with a wince, "And right after that, humbled me in a spar. Efficient." Erysis gives me a satisfied look, at my expense. "Yeah, yeah..." She laughs. "What are we having for lunch then?"

Nexen answers, "You liked the loaded bread, right?" I nod. "The main dish is similar, maybe a little lighter. Ery requested it."

She chimes in, "It's so good."

He continues, "And I chose the dessert. That one's a surprise."

Erysis makes a face. I, obviously, pounce on the opportunity, "Nexen, don't make any sudden moves."

"I don't like sweet things."

"Whatever you say,"—I draw out the next word with grossly exaggerated suspicion—"Erysis."

Saved by the bell. Well, Brinn. "So, we celebrating, or should I bring some drinks?"

"Dad..."

"We are celebrating, sir."

"Good job, Lucius. Put my all in these, enjoy." He places a giant plate, piled high with round golden bread. Each piece is small, easily able to fit in one's hand. "I'll let you kids have your fun." He starts walking back to the open kitchen, but all throughout our interaction, I could see various pans and pots moving around. Impeccable control.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

I pick up one of the breads and take a bite. The golden crust is crunchy but not too much. The inside of the bread is warm and fluffy. Some kind of filling explodes in my mouth, a cheese sauce and some mixed fruit jam. Even though a large part of the interior is filled, the bread is not soggy at all. The combination of savory, sour, and tart is perfectly balanced. Surprisingly tasty.

Erysis agrees with my assessment as the pile is slowly being shortened.

With her hunger partially satiated, she addresses me, "Thanks for last time, by the way."

I look at her, confused, and mumble with a full mouth, "Hmm?"

She smiles, uncertain, almost like what she is thinking of could slip away. "My parents. We... talked. They still don't approve, but... we at least talked."

My bite has been swallowed. "How do I come into that?"

She laughs. "Well, you gave me a push. So, even if you didn't mean to, I still appreciate it."

"Hey, happy I could help." She nods, returning to the dish. Nexen is looking at her. His expression is hard to read fully, but there is an obvious undertone—happiness.

Erysis was on track to become a healer. I do not yet have the full timeline, but from what I have gathered, the drive towards that particular profession began when she first understood what healing was. But, as she grew up, she wanted to do more. Her parents and her friends were... opposed to the idea. Seeing her open up to another person is something Nexen is glad to see. Another person... You will know the true me, one day...

With just a few pieces of stuffed bread left, Nexen stands up and goes to the kitchen, returning with three bowls.

"Extra small for you, Ery."

"Ugh."

"New flavor, try it. Might even like it."

"Don't get your hopes up."

She picks up the small spoon inside the bowl and scoops up a sliver. The dessert appears to be closely related to ice cream. It's still cold but the texture is somewhat different. Almost like frozen bubbles. Erysis gathers her courage and tastes the treat.

"Bleh." She pushes her bowl towards Nexen.

"I'll find a dessert you'll like... one of these days." He's not that convinced, but Erysis still gives him a reassuring pat. Only slightly mocking. I might have some ideas. Too bad it will be a while until then.

I eat a spoonful of my own frozen sweet. It melts on my tongue and explodes with a string of soft pops. It tastes like a cross between a fruit hurricane and New Year's fireworks. I chuckle and take another spoonful. The sensation is quite pleasant.

"I think it's pretty tasty." She shrugs at my enjoyment and finishes up what is left of the main course.

After a satisfied sigh, Erysis asks me, "Going to jump into delving missions right away then?"

"Yeah. I am going in a dungeon tomorrow."

"Hmm. Be careful out there, you hear." Nexen nods.

"You know it. Safety first."

"The pure glee on your face inspires very little confidence in that statement."

Hey, can't blame me for being excited. "You can both be safe and have fun, you know. But I'll be careful. Promise."

Her face changes a little bit, the concern morphs into something different, something I can't quite read. "Shit, sorry. This was supposed to be a celebration, not lecturing another licensed adventurer." Erysis looks apologetic and a little embarrassed.

I laugh. "What are you apologizing for. Aren't we friends? Friends care for one another. So, same to you. Be careful on your missions, or I'll personally come and kick your asses."

Her mood appears to lift up. "I'd like to see you try {Best approximation: 'string bean' (Original expression refers to a particular monster in nature dungeons)}." She smashes her fist against her palm. The thunderous result draws the stares of everyone in the restaurant. After figuring out it's her, most roll their eyes and go back to their meals.

"Didn't that hurt?" I grin at her.

"Want to find out?" We both stare at each other for a bit and start to laugh. Nexen looks even more like a proud dad. Whatever... I am not childish. She's childish…

While our food digests, we have a discussion about the rest of the menu, followed by Nexen workshopping his various ideas for new dishes with us, and eventually the conversation turns into a detailed analysis of F-grade monsters and their weaknesses.

Erysis is fired up. Thematic. "I am telling you, Lucius, if you want to dominate a nature dungeon, all you need is a fire mage."

"I am pretty sure an ice mage would be much more efficient."

She looks offended. "Sure, go ahead and freeze monsters one by one, see how far that gets you. Nothing beats a good forest fire." Her eyes shimmer at the last word. Literally.

Nexen mediates, "You would need to take into consideration the monster types and the most common resistance. But most nature dungeons are susceptible to fire."

I shrug. "Ice is cooler, though."

Erysis appears satisfied for a second but then groans. "Was all that a setup for a pun?" My victorious grin is the only answer she needs. "Figures..." She glances at a clock on the wall. "Do you have something planned for the rest of the day?"

"Not really, got anything in mind?"

"We could maybe show you around the city?"

"Yes, please. I've just been cooped up at the dorms."

Nexen gives a suggestion, "We can go to the museum." Erysis looks at him questionably.

She prepares to propose a more exciting activity, but my enthusiasm gives her pause. "That sounds incredible." I've been keeping that one for a later time, wanted to experience it firsthand. Perfect.

He smiles. "Let's go."