Abyssal Road Trip

404 - Messing with my mind



Amdirlain’s PoV - Foundry

The glowing crystal saturated with Amdirlain’s Ki illuminated their arrival beneath the central pavilion.

“Such a tiny place,” commented Gilorn. “I would have thought you’d have expanded it by now.”

“This place’s purpose doesn’t need it to be massive,” explained Amdirlain, and she sat down on a bench closest to Gilorn. “How was your time with Gail?”

“She is a competent player, but I would have preferred your company, Amdirlain,” replied Gilorn primly. “Even if you cannot utilise me properly, you’re forgiven. Though, speaking of things I might need to forgive, might I ask why you have a floor harp here?”

“Practice instrument,” replied Amdirlain.

Gilorn emitted a sputtering run of notes. “You’ve been playing a different magical floor harp and a divine one at that!”

“Gilorn, how else am I going to get good enough to play you without doing so?” questioned Amdirlain carefully.

Gilorn strings let out a high-pitched giggle. “I thought I’d give you as stupid a reaction as that moron, Barhador. What a numbskull.”

“Really?”

“You’ve not had to put up with their company,” replied Gilorn. “By the way, that was a nice obfuscation of your Planar Shift. I’m not sure they have enough competence to trace you.”

“Thanks for your assessment,” replied Amdirlain. “Are you upset that I used another harp?”

Gilorn sighed. “To tell you the truth, I believe I am. That is most unexpected, but logic and emotions aren’t the same. I shall put up with your fingering fumbles while you grow in proficiency. You shall practise diligently to minimise that time, yes?”

“Yes, but I’ve many other things on my schedule,” cautioned Amdirlain. “I’m not sure how many hours I can find in a day just for harp practice.”

“You’ve got more work like those demi-planes to do?” questioned Gilorn

“Yes,” admitted Amdirlain. “I’ve got some special ones I need, and after that, I had planned to mimic part of what you and Ori did during your training. I could also create more to expand the elemental planes or construct defences in the Outlands.”

Gilorn chimed merrily. “Then we shall do those together. It is fitting since Orhêthurin trained me while making demi-planes. We’re on opposite sides of the journey now, Amdirlain.”

“The pupil becomes the teacher,” laughed Amdirlain.

“A proper teacher hopes that happens,” replied Gilorn. “However, not in the circumstance of your reversal. What was that aura Power you’ve been using?”

Amdirlain sighed. “I’m used to its music and wasn’t expecting to shock them. It’s called Phoenix’s Rapture.”

“I should have asked the Power’s name last time we trained,” noted Gilorn. “It sounds stronger. You’ve been pushing your boundaries, I take it?”

“My boundaries and those of demi-planes,” replied Amdirlain. “I made a Planar Seed.”

“Oh, I would have loved to see that,” purred Gilorn. “What’s the new Plane’s name?”

“Atonement,” replied Amdirlain.

A few notes wafted from Gilorn, and a scrying window appeared, displaying a churning maelstrom of chaos that surged across a stony plain, leaving pristine white buildings in its wake only for the next wave to destroy and recreate them.

“That’s a mess in there still. How long do you estimate for it to stabilise?”

“I’m not sure, but at least a few years,” said Amdirlain. “I hadn’t planned to check on it soon.”

“Speaking of plans, that wasn’t quite the visit you’d hoped to have with them,” murmured Sarah. “You know, you’ve turned into an introvert, running off when things get uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I have,” Amdirlain agreed. “I should have considered Gail’s party and known it would have been a mess.”

“I thought you responded with restraint,” Gilorn offered. “Let them sort out the issues within their community before they approach you again.”

“Things weren’t what I was expecting,” admitted Amdirlain. “I don’t know if I could just hear more of the resentment or if it had increased since I spoke to Roher.”

Gilorn emitted a series of sour notes that sounded like a rusty gate squealing and groaning. “That’s the kindest comment I could give on those from the tower. At least those with sour chords have no authority left. Personally, I think Roher should have let them all die and slain the traitors. Instead, the councils have to deal with this large group that has learned nothing about humility except the humiliation of stripped titles.”

“There are thousands whose songs held clear animosity towards me,” reported Amdirlain. “Which was a little insulting since I’ve never met them.”

“They might be jealous of the respect that the others have for you. Given that number, I can see why you want to keep things neutral from now on,” said Sarah. “Maybe you should prepare contingencies in case they try anything dumb.”

Gilorn hummed. “I agree on that count. Their tones started shifting before you arrived, but your appearance catalysed a significant souring of their melodies.”

“I took on Orhêthurin’s appearance on a hunch, thinking people expected to see her face,” explained Amdirlain. Waving a hand at herself, she transformed back into her regular Wood Elf form, with auburn hair and a dusting of mint green across her dusky skin. “Precognition told me it was for the best, but that wasn’t what I expected.”

“You exposed potential animosity. It’s best to know you have enemies,” said Sarah.

Amdirlain snorted. “It’s not like I needed new ones. Though if they tried a summoning, it wouldn’t be a standard circle.”

“They’d need True Song Crystal to secure it unless they kept a choir maintaining it,” observed Sarah. “It might be just as well Gail and Isa haven’t been helping them make more since they left the Abyss.”

“I know Gail had been busy, but I hadn’t expected a total blackout on creating it,” replied Amdirlain, and she dispatched a quick message to Gail to let her know Gilorn was with her.

“Not a complete blackout, but it’s not been a priority,” corrected Gilorn. “If they try to restrain you, I’ll make sure they regret it.”

“You’ve been hiding your own capabilities, haven’t you?” Amdirlain inquired. “I wasn’t expecting you to Teleport to me.”

Gilorn hum of amusement resonated in Amdirlain’s bones. “Who me? Did you believe I was just an instrument to magnify Orhêthurin’s capabilities?”

“That’s the way you described it,” replied Amdirlain.

“I said we created billions of demi-planes to help my tuning,” corrected Gilorn. “I heard your change of the harmonics, and it seems your Resonance has improved. Otherwise, you’d have missed the issues.”

“What Resonance do you have?”

Gilorn stayed mute.

“Really?” huffed Amdirlain. “Not even a hint?”

“Earn it,” responded Gilorn.

There are always prices to pay.

Amdirlain laughed. “That might be fun. I’m sorry for wasting your morning, Sarah.”

“It wasn’t wasted,” reassured Sarah. “Would you give us a moment, Gilorn?”

I don’t want this conversation. Not now.

“Don’t mind me. I’ll listen to the baby Plane until Amdirlain is ready for practice,” replied Gilorn. “Just touch me when you want my attention again, dear.”

The serene tone in Gilorn’s announcement brought out a smile from Amdirlain despite her jangled nerves.

“What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” asked Amdirlain calmly.

“Normally, when you share a link, I hear your running mental commentary as well,” observed Sarah. “The only things you shared today were the questions and his grumbling.”

“I’m trying to get my head in order,” replied Amdirlain. “And I don’t feel like sharing the mess at present.”

Sarah groaned and moved closer to Amdirlain. “Did I mess up?”

“No, I’m the mess,” said Amdirlain. “You were absolutely right. My suggestion to move forward with anything between us was an awful idea.”

“It wasn’t awful, sweetie,” argued Sarah. “It was flattering you wanted to try, but I couldn’t put my interests ahead of yours. You can tell that’s the truth from my song.”

“I’m not listening to your music,” replied Amdirlain. “It’s intrusive, and you told me to take the time to get my head straightened out.”

Sarah reached out to cup Amdirlain’s face, only for her wrist to be caught.

“Yeah, I fucked up,” Sarah breathed. “I wasn’t looking to hurt you.”

“I am a mess,” insisted Amdirlain. “That you told me to pump my brakes could cause me to spin out proves it. I don’t know what my issues fuel versus Ori’s wounds.”

Amdirlain released Sarah’s wrist and let her arm fall.

Frozen, with her arm still outstretched, Sarah hesitated before slowly lowering it. “What’s digging at you the worst?”

“You’re not my shrink,” rebuffed Amdirlain. “You offering to listen isn’t helpful right now. All my dysfunctional relationships have me in common. I’m the train wreck, and maybe it’s best not to get caught up in it.”

“I’ll always be there to help you dig out of the rubble,” Sarah responded softly, keeping her expression composed. “But your instinct is to do it alone. That’s why you jumped here, isn’t it?”

Amdirlain placed her hand atop Gilorn’s neck, and Sarah’s gaze flared in surprise at the abrupt end of their conversation.

“I’d just like fewer enemies for a change, not find new ones where I expected only allies,” said Amdirlain. “I’ll only be doing some boring singing exercises. Again, sorry for interrupting your forge work.”

With that, Amdirlain vanished.

They appeared inside a small Demi-Plane, and Gilorn floated next to Amdirlain; her energy strings fully illuminated the area.

“You have melodies erasing your scent beneath your concealments,” observed Gilorn.

“Dragons have keen senses,” huffed Amdirlain.

“Which of your enemies need to be destroyed first?” questioned Gilorn.

Amdirlain shook her head. “It would be for the best if I got strong enough to deal with my own problems, though it’s kind of you to offer.”

“Who said I was offering to do it?” rebuffed Gilorn. “I thought I’d teach you particular songs to help.”

What is it I want most?

“I’d prefer to focus on creating for a time,” responded Amdirlain.

“What’s first?”

“I need my True Song stronger and to increase my Perception Skill,” replied Amdirlain. “So I need exercises that strain it while making me pick up details that are going wrong and give minimal experience.”

“What had you intended to create?”

Amdirlain waved a hand at the boundary membrane. “I found expanding these hundreds of kilometres across starts to stress True Song. Do you know the songs to merge a Demi-Plane with another Plane?”

“I do,” acknowledged Gilorn. “But I’m not here to clean up your things. You’ll need to learn that song yourself.”

“That’s fine with me,” agreed Amdirlain. “Did Ori ever make you any promises?”

“No, I would have never asked her for anything,” replied Gilorn. “She created me, brought me to life, gave me powers and purpose. Then she brought such happiness into my existence, letting me help her with thousands of systems.”

I’m not sure how to treat that news.

“You’re not just a harp,” stated Amdirlain. “You’re a crystalline lifeform form through True Song Crystal.”

“I'm more of an energy being. You should know that True Song Crystal isn’t exactly solid,” corrected Gilorn. “Only a being with a Soul can use True Song. The harps of the Anar and Lómë magnify particular aspects of True Song, and I can also do that.”

“Except you likely magnify it by singing supporting notes,” proposed Amdirlain.

“That’s not my only option,” replied Gilorn. “Don’t you have some singing to get started with?”

The melodies shoved the boundary outwards, and as the expansion continued, Amdirlain let the music flow through her and tried to follow it with Harmony.

With all the concerns that churned beneath her mental barrier, attempting a deliberate mix of concentration and relaxed meditation caused the songs to fail a few times before Gilorn rang with disapproval. “What are you trying to do?”

“I’m trying to get a better feel for the music’s flow,” admitted Amdirlain. “There is another Power that I’ve had for a while, and I was hoping it had the potential to help, but experimenting with it is problematic.”

“I very much doubt that’s not what’s got you so distracted,” critiqued Gilorn.

“Did you listen in?”

“Between you and Sarah, no,” replied Gilorn. “You’ve sung magnificently with blood leaking from your eyes and ears, but at present, you’re not even bleeding from anywhere. So, what’s got you distracted? Whatever it is, put it out of your mind and focus. Whatever lovers’ tiff you have going on, put it out of your mind.”

“We’re not lovers,” protested Amdirlain.

“You could have fooled me,” grumbled Gilorn. “Her song craves your touch, and you’re hiding your scent from a Dragon. I don’t have to hear your Soul to hear the scents of longing and pain you’re continually dissolving. The situation smacks of emotional significance.”

“It’s messy,” groaned Amdirlain.

“But potentially worthwhile?” asked Gilorn. “Or are you dissolving your scent because you long for her to leave you alone?”

Amdirlain mouth tightened. “I don’t know what I want.”

“Then figure it out when you don’t need to sing,” countered Gilorn. “Dwelling on such matters is best reserved for when there isn’t work to get done.”

“Yes, móðir,” drawled Amdirlain.

“Mother!” squeaked Gilorn, and her black crystal frame went deep red. “Why I never! The cheek of you, Amdirlain. I’ve been in stasis so long that I’ve certainly not put on enough weight for that.”

“Enough weight?” questioned Amdirlain.

“Orhêthurin made it so I can reproduce through fission,” admitted Gilorn, the blush retreating towards her base.

“I had meant it more that you were lecturing me like a mother,” advised Amdirlain. “A young lady calls me móðir because her flesh and blood mother was still alive, but I’d done a lot for her.”

“Oh!” chimed Gilorn happily. “In that context, it’s an acceptable honorific if you wish to continue using it. After all, I’m helping raise you in your True Song capabilities. Is that like parenting? Wait! Don’t most parents meddle in their children’s relationships? Is that what you expect? Certainly, the Lómë aren’t providing you with any emotional support.”

Amdirlain smiled wryly. “I could do without the relationship advice. I bet I’ll have enough people trying to give me their insights.”

“The only lectures I desire to give are on True Song, and I’ll only go beyond that if you allow your distracted state to continue,” declared Gilorn. “Why were you seeking help for your projects?”

“I wanted to avoid excessive level increases while advancing my True Song,” advises Amdirlain.

“Is that because of your True Form?”

Of course, she can hear it.

“Yes,” sighed Amdirlain, restraining herself from raking fingers through her hair.

Gilorn thrummed. “Many things look ugly while they’re in the process of change. Judging too soon might be an error.”

“Many of the Fallen have an unpleasant appearance,” said Amdirlain. “My appearance seems to follow that pattern. Certainly, the soot my wings give off has an awful smell.”

“Many, but not all?” questioned Gilorn. “You’re convinced you’ll be hideous, but does the appearance of your cursed form matter? Is that who you are?”

“No,” replied Amdirlain.

“Then let us see how far those wings of yours will stretch, both in the precision of your powers and the accumulation of strength,” stated Gilorn. “I believe in you, Amdirlain. You should believe in yourself.”

“Why?”

“Oh child, you let me hear your Soul’s song,” Gilorn reminded her. “Though you’re a fragment of who Orhêthurin used to be, you’re wounded but still strong.”

“I don’t feel strong enough,” said Amdirlain.

“That doesn’t mean you’ll stay that way. Look at it this way: her strength germinated from natural talent and primordial capacity. Your strength has grown through practice and perseverance. Do I also need to remind you that you removed the vines that Orhêthurin let ensnare her? Gail told me that tale.”

“That wasn’t with True Song,” objected Amdirlain.

Gilorn snorted and let out a clash of notes. “Do you think that successes in True Song come from the Power alone? I heard your flesh ripping itself apart, yet you didn’t waver. You have the strength of will to push through where others falter.”

“I’ve got powers and skills that help me ignore pain,” countered Amdirlain.

“Are you going to tell me that developing those didn’t require enduring what others would flee from?” dismissed Gilorn. “Seriously, stop trying to undersell yourself to me. You’re never going to manage that, my dear. Is that clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now, where is that hard work you promised me?” demanded Gilorn. “I’m waiting!”

Right on the heels of her sharp words, music flooded through the Demi-Plane, and the boundary sprinted outwards. As the work progressed, Amdirlain took care to listen and smooth out all the burrs and distortions within the tones. Gilorn’s ongoing feedback drew attention to the most crucial adjustments and aided her in finding them without hand-holding.

By the time Amdirlain was done, the hollow earth was complete, and a barrier slowly rotated around a Radiant orb at its centre to provide a day-night cycle.

[Crafting Summary (Category: Planetary Biomes)

Interlinked self-sustaining biomes with day-night cycle x 1,104

Dungeon complexes x17,823

Gathering challenges x94,239

Total Experience gained: +99,247,500,000

Olindë: +99,247,500,000

Olindë Levelled Up! x26

Harmony [G] (18->20)

Phoenix’s Rapture [G] (107->108)

Resonance-Prince [G] (2->3)

True Song Genesis [G] (23->28)

Dance [G] (25->28)

Perception [S] (149->151)

True Song Architecture [G] (30->32)

Physical Geography [Ad] (14->22)

Planetary Biome [M] (52->56)

Note: You don’t need the Lómë to repopulate worlds.]

I might not need them, but I’d still like to work with them.

Convulsive pressure twisted within her True Form as the levels surged through her. Amdirlain rolled her shoulders and waggled her head from side to side to ease the tension that resonated through her.

Though Amdirlain remained outwardly composed, Gilorn hummed with concern. “You’re changing further?”

“Yes,” breathed Amdirlain. “Can we speak of something else?”

“Why do you have ruins scattered about the place?”

Amdirlain smiled. “I can’t be a proper dungeon master without a few ancient ruins for adventurers to explore.”

“You’ve copied the traps the dwarves made for you in places,” observed Gilorn.

“Safety is an illusion,” said Amdirlain. “I think I will drop a message to an old friend.”

“Old friend for you or an old friend from Orhêthurin’s lifetime?” Gilorn chimed.

“I’ve got ones from Orhêthurin’s lifetime peering over my shoulder regardless of my preference,” replied Amdirlain. “This time, it’s someone whose opinion I want.”

The scrying focus slid through the university wards as if they weren’t present, and Amdirlain found Professor Mor’lmes packing up his desk for the day. Three little girls who shared their mother’s blue fur tone were nearer the door playing a Qil Tris version of rock, paper, scissors but kept stalemating each other. Two wore bright dresses, but the third wore pants and a dark tour T-shirt emblazoned with a set cover Amdirlain had never seen before. Beneath a pair of golden eyes and the lines hinting at an angular face was the phrase ‘What lies beyond?’ and a list of location dates from years ago.

“Holy shit, they shared the trace! Maybe not an in-person visit,” murmured Amdirlain, and she adjusted the focal point to take in the racks of labelled memory crystals on the shelving behind his desk. Quickly putting information about the Demi-Plane into a memory crystal, she configured a key and dropped the items through a tiny gate to sit atop the desk.

One glance at the True Song Crystal key was enough for Mor’lmes to snatch up the memory crystal, and his gaze widened as he scanned the information on the Demi-Plane.

At the end was a simple message: ‘Enjoy the sample of the upcoming training complexes, J. I’ll be in touch when you’ve had teams investigate it.’

“Scat,” growled Mor’lmes.

The little girl in the T-shirt glared at him with stern ferocity, and her tail lashed the air. “Language, Papa! You’ll get in trouble!”

With a snicker, Amdirlain let the scrying window close.

“Do you have time left before you’re expected elsewhere?” asked Gilorn.

“Yes, it’s barely mid-afternoon where I’ve been living,” replied Amdirlain. “I’ve over half a day available. I’d also like to talk to you about a construct that Custodian showed me.”

“We can discuss that while you work on the next,” ordered Gilorn. “But first, I’ve more feedback on your performance.”

Though keeping her Willpower on par with her Charisma was tempting, Amdirlain dropped the free attribute points into Quickness and transported them to another Demi-Plane.

Sarah’s PoV - Mechanus.

Polished cogs of bronze metal filled the surrounding sky, but diamonds in every known colour composed nearly everything on this platform. In the distance, a mountain of pure white diamond cast the Plane’s light into well-ordered rainbows. The slab of polished granite that Sarah had imported for this exercise was a metre thick and positioned in a circle to protect the future occupant from the Plane’s energy. The polished crystal staff was slick in her grip, and Sarah ground it to look over the circle she’d prepared. It was minutely smaller than the circle that Amdirlain’s staff created and, within its inner boundary, a cascade of keyed runes waiting for something to land on them. Ingots of mithril dropped to the ground and once liquified, her control flowed the mass outwards to complete the runes she’d extracted from the floor.

Diamond walls rose from around the slab perimeter and formed a cylinder thirty metres tall. Sarah transformed from her standard Human form into a red-haired Elf with pale blue skin.

Careful questions through Analysis had already provided the real use name of the Cloister member who had angrily confronted Amdirlain at every opportunity. Gideon’s notes had revealed more than that about Rahka and extended their plans.

‘Well done. Precisely prepared, daughter.’

As always, the words themselves weighed on Sarah’s mind despite the delicacy of her mentor’s touch. “Thank you, mother.”

‘You’ll eventually move past it. I have faith that you’ll achieve genuine healing. If you’re sure about this approach, it’s time to proceed.’

“I want to deal with some individuals who’ve sought to make her life difficult.”

With that, Sarah activated Amdirlain’s staff, and it impressed a circle of runes around those she’d set up. It only took half a minute for Rahka to appear in the circle. Disgorged into Mechanus, the boundary event of the conduit stripped away her false appearance; instead of the typical Lizardfolk stood a flayed monstrosity. Against the background of exposed muscles and sinew, mists of blood and rage seethed from thousands of fanged maws that showed all across her body. The runes beneath her feet flared, obliterating all the clothing and enchanted items except one that was flung upwards. The crystal pendant of Redemption’s Path spun to the top of the circle and cratered into the diamond ceiling and, as it hit, secondary circles activated to enclose Rahka and keep her separated from the pendant.

“What do you know of the Castellan and Balnérith?” asked Sarah in elven, even as her adopted mother slid undetected mental probes past the Fallen’s defences. The questions had brought answers to the surface of Rahka’s mind, implicating her and four others in the Castellan’s capture and initial interrogation.

Rahka hissed angrily and smashed herself against the inner circle, unable to even approach the barrier of the summoning circle.

“You destroyed my weapon, and for that insult alone, I’ll rip you apart, soft skin,” snarled Rahka.

“You’re concerned about it, but not your pendant. Do you even care about your redemption?” scoffed Sarah. “Name those who worked with you to capture the Castellan.”

Though Rahka’s mind provided the answers, she didn’t so much as twitch. Sarah’s mother shared an image of fighting in an unnatural forest, with glimpses of others among the flames and explosions.

“I’ve done lots of research and know you were involved,” Sarah said. “Or does the fight in the forest of Ijmti not ring a bell?”

“As if I’d need anyone to help me capture that filth. What sort of fool are you to think you can capture one of the cloister without repercussion?” asked Rahka, but the question sufficiently exposed a chain of memories for it to be extracted.

“I know about your pendants and how they work,” advised Sarah, wishing she could see her. “It’s not on you, so you’re not contacting anyone using it. You’re also not leaving here until I have some answers.”

“When I get out here, I’ll hunt you down,” sneered Rahka. “You’ll beg for mercy, but I’ll enjoy centuries torturing you, Elf.”

‘It seems Rahka’s True Sight cannot penetrate the mirror of Am’s barrier.’

“You assume you’re getting out while I’m still vulnerable to you,” laughed Sarah. “What did Naamah do with the Castellan?”

The memory that rose caused Sarah to blanch; the image of Rakha and her companions with Castellan between them in the Great Mother’s cavern of ice had too great an accuracy for it to be false.

Rahka’s gaze narrowed at her question. “You’re in my mind?”

“We are in your mind, not me alone,” corrected Sarah. “Why were you dealing with the Kyton’s Great Mother?”

Rahka tried to resist, but blood started to seep from her eye sockets, and the truth spilled forth.

‘They received instructions from Naamah. She had a deal with her about Orhêthurin.’

Sarah growled in the back of her throat, drawing a fanged smile from Rahka.

“I’d prefer to torture Orhêthurin myself, but I’m equally happy to know the Great Mother has bait to torture that wicked bitch. We’ve destroyed so many of those Balnérith once used as a workforce in the depths, and more are facing their end as we speak. Soon, Orhêthurin will only have three choices to get the information she seeks: the Great Mother, Naamah, or Balnérith. They all want her, and I’m sure they will make her scream.”

‘Naamah likely wants to make her scream in pleasure. I remember her appetites even on the battlefield.’

Sarah’s mouth twisted in distaste. “Mother, she’s all yours.”

The gleaming diamond mountain shifted, and a kilometres-high cliff shifted as a massive eyelid opened and booming words in draconic rocked the area. “Fallen. We have matters to discuss. Your lack of respect for Orhêthurin is the first thing I shall correct, but not the least. Your fall lies at your own feet, and it’s time you looked within and properly confronted the genuine reasons for your rage.”

When the mental probes of the first female Diamond Dragon turned into scalpels and focused Rahka’s mind on itself, truths that the Fallen had denied to herself even after the path’s critique rose from seething pits of rage and self-hatred. Oblivious to the world around her, Rahka started to whimper and shake her head in denial.

‘Don’t go near Hell, Daughter.’

“If she finds out, she’ll do something reckless,” argued Sarah.

‘For her, such reckless action would be unpleasant but likely survivable, whereas for you, it would be suicide. Or must I remind you that you are flesh and blood now? Death in Hell would be quite permanent.’

Her composure strained, and Sarah clenched her fists in frustration. “I know.”

‘Bring your thoughts into order. Castellan’s location will only draw your new Orhêthurin if she cannot get the information from another source. For now, turn your attention to what I’m doing, the mental lattice I put in place to support their self-discovery.’

“She’s not Orhêthurin.”

‘That is indeed what she says, but is your attraction only as Sarah or partly as Shindraithra?’

“I fell in love with her before we came back,” protested Sarah.

‘Yes, but you are dealing with one who has aeons of pain within her Soul, a recent Mortal life that was, in your words, a romantic cluster-fuck, not to mention having a recently deceased beloved. She offered to pursue a relationship and, to be blunt, you told her to sort herself out. I understand you meant your response as caring about her emotional state, but another option exists. Do you deal with rejection well?’

Sarah groaned. “I messed up.”

The distant mountain vanished, and an elven woman who appeared carved of diamond gently put her hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “You picked a well-intentioned and sensible course to achieve an orderly progression of your relationship. Yet she isn’t a being of order, is she?”

“What do I do, Aitherlar?” asked Sarah, not taking her gaze from Rahka’s rigid posture as she violently tossed her head back and forth in adamant denial.

Thousands of mental probes wove deeper into Rahka. They didn’t provide an impersonal review of the results as the plinth had; instead, they dug into the motivation for every action leading to her fall and since.

“You’ll have to continue the path you picked and deal with the emotional storm. I’ve had a mate for nearly the entire time the realm has existed, and we still have our arguments,” advised Aitherlar. “Emotions are not orderly, and a relationship has no perfect beginning or middle. Rather, times of peace and happiness intermingle with arguments and the day-to-day.”

“I’ve had long-term relationships in multiple lives,” objected Sarah.

A stern finger tapped the centre of Sarah’s forehead. “Then you should know that maintaining a relationship takes continual work. While you’ve told Am to work on herself, what about yourself? You’ve still got matters to resolve, don’t you?”

“Am didn’t judge me for that,” replied Sarah.

The corners of Aitherlar’s mouth twitched with a smile. “Sometimes, people crave punishment to feel like they’ve earned forgiveness. Since Am didn’t punish you, consider the mess you made what you deserve.”

“She doesn’t deserve it,” insisted Sarah.

Aitherlar’s smile didn’t waver. “Then do better.”

“Am’s gone into her loner mode, and I’m not sure she’ll hear any reassurances I’ll provide,” said Sarah. “Anything I say, she’ll likely take as me trying to patch up what’s wrong with her instead of me acknowledging I made a mess.”

“Then your Am takes after Orhêthurin indeed,” replied Aitherlar. “Find the right actions and let them speak for you.”

“What?”

“You know her, not me,” countered Aitherlar. “Maybe start by closing your mouth and opening your ears. Her ears are likely closed from emotional pain, so don’t mirror her state.”

Sarah groaned.

“We can discuss it while we heal this one,” said Aitherlar, and they got to work.


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