Omake Part 1: We Can Make A Religion Out of This…
"So the rumbling was caused by a god, right? That dude named Tesa or whatever?"
"For the last fucking time, stop pestering me with that shit."
"Normally I would, but we're talking about gods, sergeant."
Sergeant Wells rolled his eyes and edged his jaw out, thumbing over his shoulders at Private First Class Perez. "You're ruining my private time, private."
The nine-man squad was gathered in their sizeable rec room, shared by their entire platoon. It was a private sanctuary for the lower ranks, with a communal kitchen and fridge, varying electronics, and numerous codes for "various" VR activities on the walls. The sergeant was sprawled out on one of the couches in the room while five of his squad members crowded him with eager eyes.
All of them were in varying forms of dress, though Sergeant Wells was only wearing hot pants and a wife beater while staring at the football game projected onto the wall. A couple of soda cans and chip bags were strewn on the floor while the smell of grilled sausages wafted from the kitchen.
"Sergeant," Corporal Sizemore said, ensuring he stayed clear of Sergeant Wells' line of sight. The corporal had a unique twang, a mutated Cherokee accent only found on Nova. "I heard multiple nerds ranting about their experiments being ruined from the quake. And I'm pretty sure that quake hit the entire forest. Was it caused by… that being?"
Despite his annoyance, Sergeant Wells noted that the corporal had gripped the cross hanging from a silver necklace.
Instead of giving his subordinate another snide remark, the sergeant answered with an annoyed sigh. "Yeah it was a fucking god. Yeah I saw the captain's face after he left the meeting room. That motherfucking Tesa just carved a path of earth straight through concrete and tiles. That piss UN bureaucrat looked scared out of his fucking mind. Now that was a sight to remember."
"Holy shit," PFC Perez whispered. "Dios mío."
"Yeah, I don't think that God is here on this planet kid."
"You sure that it wasn't some wizardry or witchcraft? Like some human or elf pretending to be a god?" Corporal Sizemore pressed.
"Maybe, I dunno. I only heard some of the voices and the aftermath. If they were some wizard, they did a convincing job considering that the elves all keeled before him."
"So it could've been an illusion or some sort of elaborate trick."
"Look, corporal, if you want to have a theological debate with the natives, be my guest. Hell, I'm sure the company chaplain would be more than happy to reassure your faith after he interrogates the captain," Sergeant Wells answered. He chugged a Sprite and crushed the empty can. "But I am not the guy you should be debating about religion, of all things."
"I thought you were Christian too?"
"Do I look like your typical Christian? I've been going to church 'cause there are cute chicks there."
A strange whine escaped Corporal Reynolds' throat, prompting a round of snickering from the others. Private Perez took the moment to jump in between the two of them. "I heard that worshipping a god in this world comes with perks and blessings. Does that mean if I worship this Tesa dude, I get cool ass perks too? Like earthbending shit?"
"Oh yeah," Sergeant Wells said with a snort. "And you get to talk to animals too. Not to mention, you can make your own living sex doll from dirt, like Adam and Eve."
"Where the fuck
do I sign up?""Don't be an idiot," Corporal Sizemore said. "He's messing with us."
Private Perez blinked. "Shit, I've been with y'all for a bit, and I still feel like a dumbass sometimes."
Sergeant Wells pulled out a pen from his pocket and pantomimed writing in the air. "Because you are. I'm afraid it's terminal. There's a reason we named you 'Turbo' when you were first assigned to me on Nova."
"I still don't get that. Doesn't that mean I'm fast?"
"No, you are so slow; you make everyone else look fast."
"Speaking of the chaplain… how is he handling things?" Corporal Sizemore asked.
Sergeant Wells pumped his fist when he saw the Eagles score a touchdown. "Last I heard, he's trying to calm everyone and their mother down. You're taking it a lot better than some of the more religious ones."
"Because I have faith in God."
"Weren't Cherokees supposed to worship like, native spirits or some shit?"
"I'm neo-Cherokee." The corporal pointed to his shirt, which contained the blaring words 'ATSEHIGADA, NOVA USA. 53RD STATE.'
"... Still wild to me that some of the first American colonists were Cherokee members forming a new American colony… on another planet. Some reverse colonization with the original natives of America, helping America colonize. Nova has some bizzaro history."
"You think the Army will recognize Followers of Tesa or whatever as an official religion?" PFC Perez asked in a serious tone. "Already heard a few digging their toes into the dirt every morning and praying to that earth god. Some wacky, cult shit."
Sergeant Wells shrugged. "Again, I don't give a shit. God is real, god is fake, god is dead, whatever. Life goes on."
"Except for those that will have their faith challenged and also seek false idols," Corporal Sizemore muttered while rubbing his cross.
"Well then, I don't know how the God thing works, but I hope the God of Earth can rumble on this planet. Because otherwise, we're gonna need to find a bigger gun."