About Your Pride and My Prejudice

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As I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and thinking about various things, the room that had been immersed in pitch-black darkness slowly lit up with a dim light.

I can’t believe I couldn’t sleep a wink.…. I couldn’t find a plausible answer to what Alan was upset about. A sigh came out for no reason.

I couldn’t sleep all night and my head was heavy and hazy, but I curled up under the soft blanket and tried to recall what happened last night again.

A voice that had subsided as if he was holding back his anger. When he pushed me away, it was as ruthless as pushing someone he really hated…….

How did I end up making him so angry? By hugging him as I like? Maybe my unlady-like behavior was disapproving.

Or did he not like the answer I gave when he asked about Troy? Because he said he liked my writing. Maybe that wasn’t the answer Alan was expecting.

But it’s very strange. If he was really angry, why did he kiss me on the cheek……. Because he’s a gentleman? Is it his creed to give a good night kiss even if he’s angry?

“Huh…?”

Then I heard the sound of a carriage moving away.

The morning had not yet arrived and the sky was still dawn blue. All kinds of visitors and carriages come and go into the mansion more often than I thought, but there will be only one person who leaves the mansion at this time with a carriage.

When I met Alan, who came back from work late at night, I always wondered at what time he leaves the mansion. But I didn’t expect to find it out this way.

He has been going out at this hour. In the early hours of my morning sleep, when I was wandering in my dreams.

I once thought that Alan might disappear by magic. So maybe all the time I ate and talked with him was a mirage.

……I guess I still have the habit of thinking of Alan Leopold as a fantasy.

At that time, I was suddenly enveloped in a strange feeling. Then, all the time he spent on his way home so far…is  just to stop by for several hours? 

Certainly, I’ll be mistaken that he’s back to meet me.

Yesterday was the day he came back from a business trip for more than two months, so he must have been tired, but why didn’t he stay a little longer? This is his house……. Is his work that busy? Did he get some sleep?

As I worried about him helplessly, I realized one thing.  I loved and admired Alan’s background and the labels[1] that followed him, but in my heart, I thought it was all given for granted. 

A lover that everyone wishes for and a role model for young people. A genius businessman and the only heir to Sourne’s Pillar—Leopold.  I thought that all these crowns were given to him naturally as he was born with Leopold’s name.

I had no idea of ​​the times he would have endured the pressure  of the praises while I was earnestly loving his beautiful shining moments.

My mind was complicated. It is true that I have come to hate him for capturing my heart and even keeping me in his cage, but I can’t deny that I still love him. But now I even feel sympathy for him…….

Who the hell am I sympathizing with? 

As I was lost in thought, the morning dawned bright. I sat down in front of the table with the manuscript spread out. However, I did not write, but was staring blankly at the clouds floating past outside the window.

It was only natural to startle Sandra, who came to wake me up with a sleepy face. I didn’t want to worry her, so I acted like I just woke up. My excuse was that it’s a nice day today, so I woke up early.

But poor Sandra had to be surprised once more, because of a servant from the main building who came to my room as soon as the morning dawned.

“The young master sent it.”

What he brought out was a basket full of pale pink peonies.

“T-the young master sent this?”

While Sandra, who had received it, was stunned, I stopped as if frozen in the frigid cold.

“Miss, there’s a note in the basket!”

Sandra approached me with a large flower basket in her arms since the basket was so big that her hands were full and she couldn’t open the note by herself, so I had to open it myself. I reached through the flowers.

“This is….”

It was a thin, smooth paper with fine gold leaf rims, as if torn from a notebook.  It was folded twice in exactly the same shape as the nasty notes I had received several times.

Even though I knew there would be no warning or requirement like that, somehow I hesitated.

Don’t tell me he wrote down the reason why he was angry with me last night. With that in mind, I opened the note carefully.

Contrary to my expectation, the words inside were overly concise.

[Yesterday’s flower.]

“……Ha.”

A sigh, which seemed like a laugh and a breath of relief, flowed out. He suddenly and cruelly kicked me out, and in the meantime, he kept the promise he made to fulfil my request? I couldn’t even like it because I didn’t know what he was thinking.

“Miss.”

Even after the servant returned, Sandra diligently looked at my countenance.

“You’re not going to tell me to throw this away, are you? It’s so pretty.”

“Oh…….”

Then I remembered the bright yellow bouquet I had received from Alan the other day. I had asked Sandra to throw it away. The strange thing was that I couldn’t remember why I decided to throw the flower away.

What was it? What was it again?

My sleep deprived brain kept refusing to remember, so I paused, choosing a word. Sandra hurriedly added, as if I was thinking about whether to throw away the flowers or not.

“Do you know the flower language of peony?”

“No, what is it?”

“It’s pudency.”

“Pudency…..”

At that moment, strangely enough, a sensation that I had never been conscious of came back to life.  Alan’s lips that gently touched and fell on my cheek last night….….

I think I was shaking.

“I’m sure the master values you. If you’re just one of the artists he is sponsoring, how can he do this?”

“…….”

An artist sponsored by Alan Leopold. It was absurd that the servants here knew so much about my relationship with Alan, but now that I think about it, I don’t think it’s wrong.

The weak point is that it is a sponsorship that has never been asked for consent.

“……I think he’s right that he likes my .”

“That’s how it all starts! Did he tell you why?”

Judging that my softened tone was permission, Sandra was humming and transferring flowers into a vase. Sitting on the bed, I answered, watching the bright pink flowers unfold on the table.

“My writing changed his daily life.”

“……Oh my.”

Sandra, who stopped her hand for a moment, turned to me.

“It’s so cool…….”

Her amber eyes were shining as if looking at a newborn baby deer. She looked so lovely that I couldn’t stand the cuteness.

“I misunderstood you as a couple at first, right? I told you, it wasn’t groundless!”

“…….”

I wasn’t in the least pleased with the words. It even felt imprudent to say that Alan and I were mistaken for lovers. He and I belong to different worlds in the first place.

Little Melissa, who dreamed of marrying a prince, no longer exists. I grew up to be a more realistic person than anyone else.

One of the habits I learned naturally as I grew older is not to expect anything. Life never goes the way you expect it to. But life’s still a blessing because there is no disappointment without expectations.

“Sandra.”

At least it is for me. Because I’m not strong enough yet. Even in the seemingly trivial despair, I end up unhappy as if I were lost in the dark.

“Yes, miss.”

“I never asked for this sponsorship.”

So please be careful.

“Don’t ever say that again.  Do you understand?”

“Mi, miss, I…….”

“Please.”

I don’t want to be disappointed with Alan Leopold anymore.

* * *

Lunoa’s social club, where celebrities, nobles and wealthy foreigners from all walks of life secretly gather, was the nucleus of Lunoa’s political and financial circles. This luxurious subterranean space never goes out even at night.

Certain qualifications were required to set foot here. In other words, it was a big water that the floaters could not even come close to. It would not be an exaggeration to say that in order to establish a firm place in the principality, one must almost live here.

Alan Leopold was strongly offended by the fact, but his natural entrepreneurial temperament completely concealed unnecessary emotions. Alan was already one of the most notable figures here, which meant that his plans were going smoothly.

It is shocking to know that these men, who noisily clinking their drinking glasses in the thick cigarette smoke and sometimes even make vulgar jokes, are all famous.

But even more surprising is the fact that in the past, wars and cities have been lost because of the frivolous conversations and even playful bets of those gathered here. The social club of Lunos was a place with such a history.

Outside of this enormous underground space, Alan, who was called out to one side of the dark alley, stood without hiding his uncomfortable expression.

“Alan!”

“What are you doing?”

The woman’s arm, which was about to hug him, was interrupted by his black gloved hands.

“I’ve told you not to come to me. You don’t want me to be more polite anymore?”

A moment of fear rose in the brown eyes of Marcela Riemann, a woman who raised her dazzling blond hair high.

“……I know you are more interested in ambition than women. But that’s why you need me.”

But she soon regained her confident expression.

“I mean, use me.”

“I don’t need you.”

Despite the firm refusal, the woman raised her chin without being intimidated.

“Alan, don’t you know that even if you’re the heir to a great family, you’re just a stranger here in Lunoa, aren’t you? You’re not even an aristocrat here. Monica Elwood, whom you stand by with, she’s neither noble nor anything, so you must be with me.”

Alan shed a low laugh at the remark. He didn’t even listen to what the woman in front of him said. He just thought of someone with the same colour eyes. No, it’s a little more…… Was it thin and glassy?

As soon as Marcela, who was mistaken for finally leading the conversation, smiled with satisfaction, Alan spoke coldly.

“It seems that you haven’t heard what I told your father the other day.”

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[1] as in his achievements, title, etc.