About Your Pride and My Prejudice

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He came to me in my dream last night. The dream I had in the basement of the mansion and Troy was there, but it was actually the first time I had a dream of Alan since I came to the Principality.

I think yesterday’s drunkenness was due to the alcohol, but I think it was also because Alan Leopold was so evil that I had such an embarrassing dream. Thinking about last night’s dream makes me so nervous that I can’t help but want to bang my head on the table and jump into a bathtub full of cold water.

Really……It is said that all dreams come from one’s own consciousness, but I want to put the blame on Alan even if it’s cowardly.

It must be so, in reality—even though it didn’t seem real—he pressed his lips to the back of my hand and fingertips countless times. The touch almost blew my heart out, so it must have been the trigger.

Even now, I don’t think that I really fit the word of being a lady, but I don’t think I’ll ever be a lady. To see such a dre…am. A woman who dreams like that can’t be a lady.

All of this bad luck occurred because of the last night in the main building’s dining hall.

Yesterday, I got to the point where it was hard to breathe just by being close to him, so I jumped up and said I would go back to my room because I am feeling drunk.  I felt dizzy and about to collapse, and pleaded with crying eyes.

Fortunately, it was quite late, so he didn’t force me to be with him, and I managed to dissuade him from taking me to the annex himself, and returned with the maid.

It was a rather shameful finish, but it was the best and the only way for me.

As soon as he left the dining hall of the main building, an uncontrollable sense of relief flooded in, but only his last words remained like reverberation and lingered in my ears. The truth is the same now.

‘Melissa, was it really a nightmare?’

……No. It was such an enchanting dream.  The dreams where you come to me are always like that, without exception.

“So it was so painful.”

What the hell was Alan Leopold thinking?  How can he touch my weakest part every time?  You don’t love me, but just like a lover…….

No matter how many times I think about it, there is only one conclusion.  All I can say is that he has a bad hobby of getting pleasure from bullying people who are weaker than him. The way he called himself weak now makes me laugh.

I should have pity on him? Who the hell does he think he’s talking to?

I’ve never been in such an intimate and concentrated space with any man before. I’ve never even had a lover until I became an adult, so of course I’ve never had a man who kissed my hand so carefully.

But even though that’s Alan Leopold…….

When I think of the touch of his lips, I still feel dizzy as if my heart would break. Even if I burn along with my hatred, recalling the months of anxiety and fear that caused by Alan, his face automatically disarms me.

Even if I feel pathetic and frustrated, there is no way. When I face Alan Leopold, I’m definitely small, like an insignificant grass flower. A fragile person who shakes helplessly at the touch of his breath……….

From the moment I woke up, I was preoccupied with Alan and my thoughts were filled with him, making it difficult to return to my normal mood. At least it would have been much better if I hadn’t had a strange dream.

“……I must be crazy.”

“What do you mean crazy!”

“Kyaaa!”

Then a woman with a silver tray rushed into the room and screamed, which made me scream too. It was a mess. It was immediately after that I remembered that I got a personal maid from today.

When I woke up in the morning, she was standing at the bedside casually, making me faint with shock. She introduced herself as Sandra Linden.

Sandra, who had an impressive tan and healthy skin and carrot-colored hair, was an expressive and talkative woman. From her young age of less than thirty and her bright personality, I don’t know if Alan intended or not, but she seemed perfect for being my companion.

She had left the kingdom and came to the Principality of Lunoa when she was fourteen years old, having served the Leopold family since a long time ago. Unlike the existing maids, the frankness of bringing up stories about the family quickly made her likeable.

She has served the Leopold family since she was a child, and she left the kingdom when she was fourteen and came to the Principality of Lunoa.

However, as soon as I opened my eyes, it was not easy to get familiarised with a strange woman, so I asked her for refreshments, saying, “Let’s talk over tea.”

It’s been at least an hour, but I didn’t expect to be back this late. I almost forgot her existence.

“So, it wasn’t until I came to the Principality that my skin became tanned. You may not know it yet, but Lunoa’s sun is much hotter than Sourne’s!”

“…….”

“I think that’s why there are so many artists…… Oh, you asked me why I came so late?”

“Yes.”

“Look at my mind!”

It was a little distracting, but it was still much better than the expressionless maids who were like paper dolls. I like these types of people because it seems that energy is transmitted to me when I see them.

My best friend Viola is just like this…..I miss Viola.

“I worked at the Leopold residence in Florin, not here. It took me a long time to find the kitchen, and when I got there, I had a hard time finding teacups and stuff, miss. I almost got to the main building!”

“But I hear all the people here are from the Leopold family. You could’ve asked.”

“Please drop the honorifics!”

“Oh….you could’ve asked.”

Only then was Sandra satisfied, scratching one cheek and opening her mouth.

“The maids here are very shy. It’s hard to talk to.”

“That’s true, but you didn’t know a single face?”

“How many servants of the Leopold family are there? You can’t even imagine it! I’ve been a maid for more than ten years, and since I was originally a maid who only cleaned the places used by the master, it’s safe to say that I don’t know a face.”

So you were Alan Leopold’s maid?

Alan said the maids here weren’t his own people. Does that mean Sandra, who got into the mansion at my request, is his person? But Sandra is no longer a Leopold servant…….

“Sandra.”

I wondered how she had come to the mansion.

“How did you come to the Duchy alone at the age of fourteen?”

“It is natural to be alone because I have no family!”

“No, I….”

That’s not what I meant.….

Sandra whispered in a cheerful tone, as if she had noticed my troubled face.

“Ah! If you’re asking about why I came to Lunoa after serving the Leopald family all my life……! Ah, can I talk about this?”

“……did Sandra get instructions from Alan? You can’t answer what I ask you?

Sandra suddenly gave a strange expression to what I said. I was just puzzled, but looking back it became clear that the moment her expression changed was when I said Alan’s name.

It’s because I am calling his name without any honorifics.

“The master just asked me to help you to be comfortable and have a good time.”

“Ah….”

“I hesitated for an answer, anyway, because Leopold is like home to me….  I was trying to differentiate between what is allowed to be told to outsiders and what is not.”

Sandra, who took a sip of the tea with a subtle scent—probably from another continent—continued with a sullen face.

“I’ll try to be as careful as I can. I was kicked out of my family when I was 14. To be exact, Mr. Leopold, the master’s father…….”

“Did… you make a big mistake?”

“Miss, this is what I mean by ‘what I cannot’. So I’m going to skip it, so please listen.”

The maid, who said so, immediately moved her lips without waiting for my answer.

“At the age of fourteen, I suddenly found myself sitting on the street, and the master secretly took care of me. He arranged a boat for me to leave for the principality and gave me settlement  funds.”

“…….”

The story of Alan, who must have been a young boy at the time, carefully helping the expelled employee is quite impressive, but I can’t believe that it’s a foreign country. Is there an implicit rule among Sourne’s wealthy men that doesn’t accept a maid thrown out of the Leopold family?

The influence of the name Leopold hurts to say the least, so it’s good to stay out of their sights….….

I don’t know the details, but I felt numb to imagine that she had boarded a ship alone to the Principality at the age of 14. As an adult and having a family, it was unbearably sad for me.

“I’ve been doing all sorts of things since I came here, and recently I’ve been taking a little break, but last night, the master’s person came and called me to the mansion.”

“Last night, straight away…….”

“I’m grateful for that, but I can’t believe you’re such a sweet and beautiful lady! I’m so happy.”

The sight of Sandra clasping my hands together as if in ecstasy almost made me cry. I can’t believe I’m sweet and beautiful…..

“You don’t have to force yourself to look good, Sandra.”

“Actually, I came to the Principality and took care of a few young ladies.  At first, I was really happy because I always wanted to serve a young lady.”

……Suddenly experienced?

“But they weren’t as sweet as you. You’re the first person to ask me to have tea with you! I’ve never seen anyone listen to me this well! I’ll serve you with all my heart!”

“……I know I’m kind to some degree. To be precise, I’m just trying to look kind. But….”

As I blurted out, Sandra gave a smirk.  Her two cheeks, which rose up, were somehow elated.

“You’re embarrassed, aren’t you? But I mean it when I say you’re beautiful!”

“I was just telling you to listen.”

I answered because I was somehow dispirited. I wasn’t embarrassed or anything like that.

“I know I’m normal. So you don’t have to flatter me on purpose. As you can see, I’m not as noble as the ladies you served, I don’t hate Sandra just because she doesn’t say that…….”

“Oh, my God, miss! What are you talking about?”

Then Sandra made a big fuss and waved her hands.

“That’s not what I said! You may not be a conspicuously gorgeous beauty, but my young master has a very good sense of beauty!”

“……what?”

“I said it wasn’t just me!”

(T/N: she’s saying she’s not the only one who finds Mel sweet and beautiful)

No, it’s not that…….

“Oh! I mean that Master Alan loves beautiful things!”

“…….”

“But why is your face suddenly……. Are you feeling hot?