About Your Pride and My Prejudice

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“Melissa Collins,”

he asked.

“Are you serious?”

“…….”

With determined eyes, I told myself that I don’t love him anymore and there was nothing left except hatred, but I didn’t mean it.

So I closed my eyes. The man I fear is no longer in sight.

“… Alan Leopold,”

So tell it, Melissa.

“Your excuse to help me is nothing but nonsense. But even if it’s true, it’s not a good thing if the other person doesn’t want help. I don’t think you don’t know that…….”

“…….”

“You brought me here on your own, and everyone would be astonished if the kingdom knew.”

Alan replied immediately.

“What an emotional woman you are,”

“Tha…” 

“Stop deceiving yourself.”

Even though I am a little angry, I stand firmly but when I opened my eyes again, his gaze, still fixed on me, was straight and unwavering.

“How can such a passionate love turn into hatred so easily?”

“…….”

“That’s ridiculous.” 

His cold expression, as if offended by my words, strangely encouraged me.

“Don’t talk about love. No words can justify your past actions. You…… “

So it was all because of him that I was swept away by this impulse.

“Do you even love me?” 

Troy, who looks like you, has locked up the woman just because he loves her. Even if it’s not a very beautiful form, there’s that kind of love in the world.

“…….”

But, as expected, Alan didn’t answer.  I didn’t think he would agree to it, but my heart became unbearably cold.

“Look, that’s not true. For you, it was just for fun. Your splendor and dazzling…… In a life full of thrills, I…….”

“…….”

I wanted him to say something, but no matter how much I stretched my words, there was no answer coming back. He just looked at me with an icy face with his lips slightly covered, with his chin resting slowly on his interlaced hands.

When that cold gaze ran down my cheek as if it was stroking my cheek, I became utterly miserable….

“A trifling deviation, a play…… Maybe it was a tool for low sadism…….”

Around the time when I started to get confused whether the words my lips were saying to rebuke him or to hurt myself.  A gentle knock pierced my ears.

“Young master,”

“…….”

At this rate, I was thinking that tears might spill out of my eyes.  All sorts of uncontrollable emotions were on the verge of becoming a huge tsunami and engulfing me.

“I came to meet you. You said you’d stop by for a while because you forgot something, but it’s been too long…….”

The elderly gentleman who opened the door looked like a butler or aide. When Alan looked back at him with a cold face, the butler who was holding the gold-rimmed monocle stopped talking in hurry.

“What do I do, I have to go.”

Alan shrugged and slowly got up. Funny enough, I could do nothing but look up at him with a sad face. Like an animal abandoned in the rain, trembling all over.

Alan Leopold’s butler pulled his jacket from a hanger on one side of the office and took it to his master’s back, and Alan stretched out his arm behind him, as if familiar with it, and accepted it.

Watching the series of processes, I felt as if I had become invisible air for the first time in a while.

This sensation reminded me of a social event full of gorgeous people, especially an afternoon when Viola had injured her leg and I had to endure it alone.

The street of Florin, where he turned away coldly under the burning sunset, and the night when I secretly peeped at a masquerade full of firecrackers and lights, leaning against the railings on the ship.

And all of a sudden, the fact that I was looking at Alan Leopold at all those moments became clear and silent.

In those countless scenes, I was always shabby, and he shone with infinite splendor. Even at this very moment.

Then the two men, turning around, took a graceful step toward the door. It was ridiculous of me to just sit there absentmindedly. The past week, waiting for Alan Leopold, felt really silly.

When they are gone, I shall be led back into the room by the maid. Until he returns to the mansion, it will be my only routine to prepare words and expressions that will shake him even a little.

“…Crazy.”

Alan Leopold is crazy. Do the employees who serve him know that their master is crazy?

I guess I’m just as crazy as him as I am sitting here with a casual look on my face. It wouldn’t be strange if I scream, curse, and vent my anger, but I lowered my head as if I’m adapting to this situation, and bit my lips.

Of course, it’s nothing. I’m just helpless. I don’t know what to do…….

So I endured the growing self-hatred scratching my heart, and waited for this moment to pass.

At that very moment, a smooth touch gently touched my lower lip.

It was Alan’s hand that I didn’t know when he came.

“You’ll get hurt,”

It was only then that I realized that there was a fishy smell on the tip of my tongue and the fact that his wrist was a little paler than I remembered, but still had an alluring scent.

My dazed gaze slowly moved up his arm and rested on his beautiful lips for a moment. But I could not bear to look into his eyes, and fell feverishly over the cold tea cup.

At that time, a gentle low tone was heard.

“You don’t have to love me for this to happen Melissa.”

“…….”

Will there really be a day when I can understand this man?

* * *

It has been two days since I visited Alan Leopold’s office. My long conversation with him and his words made me doubt my ears feel like a dream.The maids who watch over me and never give me the answers I want to hear are like paper dolls without emotions.  It would be futile to hate these maids because they just do what they are given.When I think about it, I don’t even feel resentmentIt’s beautiful, strange, and sometimes painful…… The fact that in this enormous, perfect cage, which resembles it’s master, I felt an undeniable calmness;

“…will soon stop me and kill me.”

The heavy rain that had been pouring since the morning lasted all afternoon. The smell of rusty rain and moisture floated around the room all day. I had no appetite, so I only ate a slice of bread and a cup of coffee today.

At first, the rich table and tea table set up only for me three times a day just felt difficult and sinful, so I tried to force it into place.  It’s because of my stupid personality.

But from some point on, I didn’t think of anything else. I don’t care if it’s all right.

The foods were placed perfectly on an expensive plate, therefore, you had to aloof to not feel any sincerity from it. Even more so if all the thoughts and sufferings that come from it are all under his plan.

Anyway, I’m adjusting to life here. No, it’s nothing more than a disgusting self-defense, after all.

I’m learning to resign.

“Haa…”

As I was filling out my diary with helpless letters, my mouth suddenly became bitter.

It is natural. I can’t possibly write beautiful sentences.  Reading a book is no longer enjoyable, and it seems that most of the time is spent just blankly immersed in thoughts.

The lotion applied on the skin is fragrant and the feel of silk on the body is ecstatically soft, but the luxurious and valuable things obtained here do not inspire me at all. No more.

Knock, knock

As I was rolling my pen helplessly on the beautiful reading table and brooding over my new disillusionment, I suddenly wondered if I should ask for a cup of tea. So I waved the bell with an emotionless face, and suddenly a short knock stopped my hand.

“What is it?”

It’s not dinner time yet, nor is it bath time. Did she bring a new book? Or does she want to change the bed sheets?

Of course, the sheets were replaced as soon as I woke up this morning, but the maids here are perfectionists who are so close to paranoid. So it’s not surprising that they would change the sheets many times a day because of slight stains or minor wrinkles.

“…Come in.”

However, it was not the maid who appeared when the door opened.

A pale man in a neat navy suit without a wrinkle was polite to me. Embarrassed, I forgot to get up and just watched him slowly raise his head.

“My name is Maurice.”

“…….”

“From today, I’m going to read your .”

He looked like a Lunoian at first glance, but he spoke with an astonishingly skillful Sournaire accent. However, I was stunned by the unexpectedness of his words.

“…What?”

Alan Leopold’s voice, saying that my academy for the two years I was supposed to be enrolled in was garbage, and that he would make a better environment, suddenly revived and buzzed in my head.

“…Hello, thank you for your kind words, but I came to study abroad with royal support.  I decided to register at the academy—”

“Mr. Leopold told me to continue writing the .”

He interrupted me as if he hadn’t heard me. Nevertheless, the polite tone was strangely intrusive.

Yes, he sent me another paper doll.

I replied, staring darkly at his dark brown hair, which was neatly combed.

“If it is that , I wouldn’t finish it because I don’t want to continue writing anymore.”

“Miss,”

“Above all, the manuscript of the is owned by the Royal Academy of Sourne. It left my hand*. Unless you ask the Academy to return it to you—”

(* The enthusiasm to write the )

“That’s no problem,”

The man named Maurice cut me off again. Then he suddenly gave me a pile of papers.

The first letter on the front page is…….

“How can this be…….”

As if he couldn’t accept it and didn’t care about me biting my lips, the man murmured as his bright green eyes gleamed through the transparent glasses.

“You must finish this with me.”

His eyes were almost like snakes’ eyes.

“For him,”