About Your Pride and My Prejudice

Chapter 47: My Crazy Winter, I Will Run Away From You.

That afternoon in the living room, Mrs. Kerney, me, and Julia were talking about one thing or another, picking up the clothes or folding the laundry.

At that time, I heard the sound of a letter arriving from outside, and I thought of Tobias momentarily. It was so natural. I jumped up from my place even before Julia could get up.

The letter handed over was sealed with Leopold’s seal, and Toby’s name was also written on the back.

The letter I sent must have just arrived in Lunoa. So there was no way this could be the reply to that letter, but whatever it was, I was just glad to hear from Toby after a long time.

After seeing my reaction, Mrs. Kearney and Julia immediately recognized the source of the letter, and the quiet afternoon quickly turned into a fuss, so I had no choice but to run up to the room with a red face. Will there ever be a day when I’ll get used to the embarrassing fuss of the two?

I opened the letter at once without even thinking of sitting in front of the desk.

Toby’s handwriting, which is not outstanding but shows affection, made me laugh as always.

However, while reading the letter, I turned pale like a person who saw something that they shouldn’t see.

White paper fluttered and fell down on the floor, and after all my movements paused, I hardened like a person who got a frostbite. I had to pick it up again and check if I read it correctly, but I couldn’t.

I hope what I just read is not true.….

I sat down on my trembling knees. The letter was right in front of me.

“Ah…”

I couldn’t stop the burst of tears and covered my mouth helplessly. I can’t believe this happened to Toby. I couldn’t believe it.

“How can this be…..”

Uncontrollable tears flowed down my cheeks nonstop. My throat was choked like it was burning.

Toby was, indeed, a good and pure person. Like a ray of light in a dark world.

And there are so many bad people in the world. There are countless fellows who deserve to be judged, but why did it have to be Toby? Why?

From some point on, I was crying while covering my mouth. Soon, anxious voices and worrisome murmurs could be heard outside the door, but no knocks or voices were heard, and their consideration did not disturb my sorrow.

I will be on my way to study abroad soon.  And naturally, I was going to get help settling down by Toby, who was there first.  But I swear I wasn’t crying this much because of the regret that I couldn’t get the help.

I cried for a long time because I was just sad about Toby’s poor life.

I sat down blankly for such a long time. I must have lost half of hismybody temperature to the cold wooden door I was leaning against. I couldn’t believe anything, so whenever I felt like I was dreaming, I looked at his letter again.

“I can’t believe this is reality…….”

A horribly cracked voice popped out. When I remembered my future life without Toby, I suddenly became devastated.

We only knew for half a year, and Toby had been away from the kingdom for nearly two months. Nevertheless, he seems to have been a quite large part of my life.

Will it be natural? Tobias was the first person to let me know what it felt like to be loved by the opposite gender. He made me aware of the world of a real lady, who was still childish even after reaching my adulthood.

Will there ever be another man in this world who can take care of my flaws with that kindness and warmth? Maybe he approached me after finding out the darkness and loneliness I had. These thoughts constantly passed by.

How did I treat Toby? For the shallow reason that my feelings are not at the same temperature as his, didn’t I just keep him waiting, thinking of an unrequited love in vain?

When I recalled the fact, my heart broke helplessly. My whole body trembled as if it were about to collapse.

I felt like I was getting punished.

“Haa…”

I just wanted to visit God and ask. Why it had to be so harsh on Toby, not anyone else.

The details were not written down, but it must have been a terrible accident which made him unable to walk.…. My reality was that I couldn’t take responsibility for Toby, who had to spend his entire life sitting down, with a single affection for me, and that made my heart even more sad.

Of course, even if I had been able to take responsibility for him, he would have refused.  Tobias Miller is such a person.

Toby had an early admiration for the Leopolds, and he had the goal of joining the division by becoming a scholarship student they sponsored. His expression while talking about this is still vivid in my mind.

However, there was still plenty of time left until the application deadline.  There was nothing urgent, however, and one day, Toby had written the news of his sudden departure from the country. I vividly remember the complex emotions that mixed the despondency, joy, and loss I felt that day as if it were yesterday.

“He said that leaving right away is the starting condition.….”

When he was suddenly selected as a scholarship student at a time when the recruitment did not even begin, it was true that I thought it was strange.

In the end, however, I didn’t question it, because I saw that Toby was an outstanding talent.

Even though I knew it was useless, I was immersed in meaningless ideas. If Toby had not suddenly been selected as a scholarship student. If he hadn’t gone to the Principality, he wouldn’t have had to face such a tragedy.

“……wait.”

At that moment, an eerie feeling touched my neck and passed by. I snatched the letter lying on the floor.

“The word involved is usually……….”

At the moment, I was terrified as if I had witnessed something very frightening.

“It is used when an accident is caused by an external force.”

I felt as if the pieces of the puzzle scattered in my head were frantically coming together.

The Leopold family did something unusual for them by advancing the selection schedule without notice.  After that, Tobias belonged to the Leopold family and was under them.

“And… the stalker who looks like Alan Leopold.”

He once sent a threatening letter with the intention of separating Toby and me. He even heard all about Toby’s admiration for Alan and his aim for Leopold’s scholarship at the Antris Coffee Shop, where the owner of the coffee shop…….

“……Your winter?”

I was dazed as if I had been hit hard on the head. It felt like my feet were collapsing. Would it feel like this if I was trapped alone in the dark darkness that I couldn’t even fathom?  My eyes dimmed by the shock.

“Alan Leopold…….”

He was my stalker.

The man who holds my heart however he wants, like a winter night in the north is my…….

“It must be crazy, it’s crazy. Without going crazy, this will never happen unless I am…….”

I’d rather be crazy

How Alan, who had never even looked at me for nearly a decade, began to cast a black shadow on me, who must have not even known my existence.

If it was really because of my awkward love poem, the devil that ruined Tobias’ dreams and life…….

“… It means it’s me.”

How can I handle this ridiculous reality? My suppressed tears burst out like a sigh.

It didn’t matter how Alan Leopold looked at me anymore. Only the guilt for Toby, the terrible hatred for him who scratched my daily life, and the myriad of times I spent loving and missing Alan endlessly remained alone.

“…….”

At that time, I suddenly remembered an afternoon when I suddenly bought a collection of love poems.

That day, I met Alan Leopold like a dream in front of the bookstore. For the first time, I touched him, and for the first time, I shared the same air, and it was dyed in the red sunset

And just a while ago, I ran into the stalker like a lie at the same time. The man had Alan Leopold’s face and body, voice and scent.

Therefore, at that moment, the emotion that overcame the confusion and fear and covered me seems to have been an instinctive ecstasy. Foolishly.

In fact, I’ve thought quite a lot that the stalker might be Alan. However, falling into daydreaming like a habit, I blamed myself, saying that a beautiful and noble person like him could not be a stalker. Even adding to the ridiculous imagination that he may be Alan’s twin brother or Leopold’s hidden illegitimate child.

But now I had to accept it. Alan Leopold is crazy.

Reasons or processes are no longer an issue. The problem is that he bought an old house across from my house, and that he has the power to stir up my surroundings at his will, and…….

“…..That he, too, will be going to Lunoa soon.”

In this situation, the only thing left is the conclusion that I should run away from him by all means. He said he wouldn’t chase me anymore, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t harm me.

Didn’t he already destroy Tobias?

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“Haaa…”

There was a faint hope. According to Toby’s last letter, all members of Leopold’s new division, including Alan, will stay in the capital Lunos. And the academy I will go to was located far from the capital of Lunoa.

Therefore, it will be safer after crossing the principality than now with him as a neighbor. Moreover, Leopold in the Principality would not have as much influence as here in the Sorne Kingdom.

I’ve already given him so many years. So I can’t let him ruin the rest of my life.

My crazy winter. I will run away from you with all my might.