A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

"He tasked me to move his coffin to the core of Mythica," Agnos said, his tone sharp enough to cut stone.

"You can't!" Jiuge's voice rang out, firm and unyielding.

I blinked at her. "Why can't he?" My curiosity, as usual, landed me in the middle of yet another divine standoff.

Jiuge turned her steely gaze toward me. "Do you even know what my task is, Carl?"

"Nope," Agnos interjected before I could reply, leaning back with an infuriating smirk. "And frankly, I don't care."

A crackle of energy interrupted them, jagged streaks of purple sparking from Agnos, while an ominous pink glow swirled around Jiuge. Their divine power clashed like an electrical storm, charging the air with tension.

If Mythica had an award for "Most Awkward Diplomatic Mission," I'd be a shoo-in.

Forget the Nobel Peace Prize—I deserved a medal just for surviving the past twenty-four hours.

I'm currently witnessing and trying to mediate the escalating tension between two powerful entities.

The cause of this battleground? Kaleon's Coffin, nestled at the center of a lake so tranquil it was practically begging to host a fight.

Now, I was standing between them, wishing I'd brought popcorn.

"Stop it!" I threw my hands up before either of them could make another snarky remark. "For the love of Mythica—or whatever you two believe in—can we just talk like rational beings instead of throwing elemental temper tantrums?"

Agnos smirked, clearly enjoying himself. "You're bold, Carl. I tell you that."

"Bold? No. Exhausted? Very. Now, cards on the table. What's the deal with Kaleon's coffin? And why does it feel like I'm mediating a custody battle over a glorified piece of furniture?"

Jiuge huffed, her pink aura crackling. "It's not just a coffin. The coffin holds Kaleon's body and, more importantly, his soul essence. Without it, Mythica's balance will unravel."

"Great. So it's the mythical equivalent of an overpowered battery," I muttered.

Agnos crossed his arms, his glowing eyes narrowing. "That 'battery' is our creator. And he tasked me to move the coffin to the core of Mythica."

"I'm telling you, you can't!" Jiuge snapped, stepping forward with enough force to knock out some books in the sanctuary.

Another crackle of energy erupted between them.

I let out a long, deliberate sigh, the kind that said, Here we go again.

"Honestly, you two are worse than sparring phoenixes. If you keep this up, neither of you will finish your tasks. Is that what you want? Or should I just book a boxing ring and sell tickets?"

The room fell into an uneasy silence, the crackling energy simmering down. They glanced at each other before reluctantly backing off, their expressions equally sour.

"You're right, Carl," Agnos said begrudgingly, his usual sarcasm momentarily replaced with something resembling… cooperation? "So, what's your brilliant plan?"

"Plan?" I emulated, rubbing the back of my neck. "First, let's figure out what's actually going on. Agnos, you've been tasked to move the coffin to the core of Mythica, right?"

He gave a curt nod, his golden eyes glinting.

"And you, Jiuge?" I turned to her. "Why can't he? And no cryptic answers. Pretend I'm five and explain it slowly."

Jiuge shot Agnos a glare before answering me. "Because moving it would destroy Kaleon's soul essence. If that happens, he will truly die. The lake of tears preserves him—his body, his soul, his essence. Removing the coffin disrupts the delicate magic keeping him intact."

"Ah, yes. Magic preservation. The magical equivalent of bubble wrap," I deadpanned. "So, what exactly is your task?"

Her pink aura pulsed faintly as she answered, "I've been tasked to ensure the coffin stays in the Lake of Tears."

"And who gave you that order?" Agnos demanded, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

Jiuge lifted her chin, meeting his glare and smirk with defiance. "The Mistress."

"Mistress?" Agnos asked sharply. His expression shifted, the smirk replaced by something more... human.

"Surely you haven't forgotten her." Jiuge added softly, her voice heavy with something I couldn't quite place. Grief? Regret? I wasn't sure.

At the mention of the "Mistress," Agnos froze. His expression turned complicated—conflicted even, as if someone had just handed him a cursed riddle.

And just like that, the air grew heavy. Agnos's shoulders stiffened, his glowing eyes dimming slightly. Whatever she'd said had struck a nerve.

"Who's this Mistress?" I asked, breaking the silence because, frankly, I hated awkward pauses.

Both of them turned to me, their faces a mix of sorrow and something else I couldn't quite pin down.

Finally, Jiuge spoke. "The Mistress is Hestia."

"Hestia? Like... Goddess Hestia? Hearth, family, fire, that Hestia?" I asked, because clearly I hadn't heard her right.

"Yes," Agnos confirmed.

I blinked. "And what's her connection to the coffin? To Kaleon?"

Jiuge hesitated, her eyes darting to Agnos as if asking for permission to continue.

When he didn't object, she sighed and said, "The lake of tears... it's her tears. She wept for Kaleon when he went into eternal slumber."

Something wasn't adding up. I racked my brain, trying to piece together what little I knew of Hestia's mythology. Unless… a lightbulb flickered on in my brain.

"Wait. Are you telling me they were… lovers?"

Jiuge rolled her eyes. "No."

"Oh." I relaxed slightly. "Good. That would've been—"

"They're husband and wife," Jiuge interrupted, rolling her eyes again as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"H-husband and—what?!" I stammered. My brain short-circuited at the revelation. "Hestia. Goddess Hestia. The virgin goddess of hearth and home. Married?"

My voice cracked like an over-tuned lute string.

"You're kidding, right? Hestia—the Hestia—was married? To Kaleon? The same Kaleon who created Mythica?" I repeated.

"Yes," Jiuge said, clearly annoyed.

"But she's—she was—oh, this messes with everything I thought I knew!" I paced back and forth, my hands pulling at my hair.

"The stories mortals tell aren't always the truth," Agnos said, his tone unusually soft.

"Indeed," Jiuge said, her tone flat, as if this bombshell revelation was just another Tuesday for her.

I stopped pacing and looked at him. "So, what happened? Why the tears? Why the coffin?"

"Like I said. Mortals have distorted the truth over millennia," Agnos said, his voice laced with pity. "Hestia and Kaleon were married. Their love was the foundation of Mythica—until it was torn apart."

"Torn apart how?" I asked, sensing I was about to get a tragic backstory.

"The Ancient Realm War," Agnos added quietly, "was because of them."

And just like that, my day went from mildly stressful to catastrophically complicated.