A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

When it came to mythical creatures, I thought I'd seen enough to qualify for a gold medal in "Absurdly Dangerous Beasts Olympics."

That was until I met this thing.

I stood at the edge of the clearing, my breath fogging up the cool night air as Agnos, in his sleek purple cat form, darted and weaved through the lush trees.

His fur shimmered under the moonlight as if coated with liquid starlight, his claws glowing faintly with residual magic.

Opposite him stood a pale, gaunt creature cloaked in inky shadows.

Its face was a jagged mask of bone-white skin, as if sculpted from fear itself, with hollow pits where eyes should have been—watching, hungering.

The creature was a nightmare, the kind you hope is just a figment of some over-imaginative author's horror story.

Unfortunately for me, it wasn't.

I stood several paces away, sweat slicking my palms as I clutched a useless enchanted net.

Useless, because the Pishtaco had absorbed it, glowing brighter with every ounce of magic it swallowed.

The clearing buzzed with tension, the shadows stretching unnaturally as the creature advanced on Agnos.

In his purple feline form, Agnos was a blur of claws and glowing energy, dodging and striking in a seamless dance of aggression and grace.

Each swipe he landed sent a ripple of magic into the Pishtaco, but instead of injuring it, the creature's gaunt frame seemed to swell, soaking up the power like a sponge.

"Step back, Carl!" Agnos snapped, his voice tight with effort as he leaped over a tree root.

The Pishtaco's shadowy claws raked through the space he'd just vacated, leaving a sizzling gouge in the earth.

"Just stay out of its way!"

"Not exactly helpful advice!" I shot back, trying to find a strategy in the chaos. "What even is this thing?!"

Agnos lashed out, a crescent of magical energy exploding from his claws.

The Pishtaco absorbed it without so much as flinching.

"I said step back, Carl!" Agnos shouted, his voice sharper than the crackling energy around him. He leaped away from the Pishtaco's swipe, which left a sizzling trail of black scorch marks on the earth. "I've got this!"

"Do you, though?" I muttered. Because from where I stood, this was less of a battle and more of a bad magic sponge experiment.

"Find its weakness!" Agnos called out, vaulting over the Pishtaco's next strike.

"Sure, no problem," I replied dryly. "I'll just casually analyze a creature I've never seen before in my life while it tries to murder you. Piece of cake."

"Carl." Agnos's voice dropped an octave, his eyes blazing with irritation as he leaped onto a boulder. "It's called a Pishtaco! Now, figure it out!"

"Oh sure, because I just carry around an encyclopedia of nightmare monsters!" I retorted, pulling out my phone instead. "Spell that for me, genius!"

"Are you kidding me right now?! P-I-S-H—watch out!" Agnos darted back as the Pishtaco lunged at him.

"Got it!" I shouted, fumbling with my phone as I ducked behind a tree. "You're sure that's how it's spelled? You have a terrible accent sometimes!"

"Just search it!"

I muttered under my breath, fingers flying over the screen.

Within seconds, the Mythica Search results loaded, and I skimmed through the entries. The Pishtaco wasn't just terrifying—it was absurd.

According to the digital tome, it craved "life essence," not in the way vampires do, but in the form of magical energy. Ancient artifacts, enchanted relics, glowing cores of magical beings—it consumed them all to sustain its eerie existence.

Even worse, it was almost impervious to magical and physical attacks. Every blow Agnos landed only seemed to feed the creature, its form swelling with each absorbed hit.

A pale, gaunt figure cloaked in shadows. Check.

An insatiable hunger for life essence—specifically magical energy. Also check.

Almost impervious to magical and physical attacks.

Great. Just great.

"Agnos!" I yelled, my voice cracking slightly. "This thing feeds on magic! It's absorbing everything you throw at it!"

"I noticed!" Agnos snapped, his tail flicking in irritation as he vaulted onto a boulder.

The Pishtaco lunged again, its shadowy claws slicing through the air where Agnos had been a split second earlier.

"This is bad!" I muttered, scrolling through the entry.

"Weaknesses, weaknesses… Come on…"

"This thing's like a walking magical sponge," I shouted to Agnos, who was currently mid-air, claws slashing.

"Tell me something I don't know!" he yelled back, barely avoiding another strike from the Pishtaco that obliterated a nearby stump.

"Oh, here's a fun fact!" I called, reading further.

"It has a history of dressing in disguises and pulling off slapstick schemes to get what it wants. So, you know, maybe it moonlights as a stand-up comedian?"

Agnos let out an exasperated growl. "How about something useful, Carl?"

I scrolled furiously, my brain working overtime to process the information. There had to be a weakness—every creature had one, even the ridiculous ones.

Then it happened. My phone rang.

The screen lit up with Eldrin's name, and for a split second, my focus wavered.

I groaned, instinctively fumbling to silence it. But before I could, the melodious chorus of PinkCorals' Boom Bling blared into the clearing.

"Boom bling! Sparkle like a star, baby—"

The Pishtaco froze mid-lunge, its gaunt figure shuddering violently. Its hollow eyes widened in what I could only describe as abject terror. Then, as if struck by an invisible force, it staggered backward, clutching its head.

Agnos landed gracefully beside me, panting.

"What did you just do?"

"I... received a call?" I said, baffled.

"Boom bling! Sparkle like a—"

The Pishtaco let out a guttural groan and collapsed, convulsing on the ground.

"Wait," I said, piecing it together. "Is it reacting to the song?"

Agnos stared at the writhing creature, his tail twitching. "No way."

I turned the volume up. The Pishtaco screeched and curled into a ball, its shadowy form flickering like a candle in the wind.

"Oh my god," I said, a grin spreading across my face. "This thing hates pop music!"

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Agnos muttered, though his tone was tinged with awe.

"Chaotic wavelengths," I said, recalling something from the Mythica Search entry. "Its senses are fine-tuned for detecting magical frequencies. This must be overloading its system."

Agnos sighed, shaking his head.

"Leave it to you to accidentally weaponize pop music."

"Accidentally?" I scoffed, holding up my phone like a magical staff. "This is strategy, Agnos."

The Pishtaco flinched, its shadowy limbs twitching violently, as if the chorus itself was a holy incantation banishing it to another realm.

"What now?" Agnos asked, his claws still glowing.

"We contain it," I said, already navigating through the Mythica app. "I think I saw a spell for trapping energy-based entities. It should work if we can keep it disoriented long enough."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

I switched to my music player and hit play on the PinkCorals playlist. The Pishtaco's wails echoed through the clearing as the bubblegum beats reverberated through the trees.

"This," I said, grinning.

"You're saying this thing—" Agnos gestured at the creature, which was now rolling on the ground in agony, "—is being defeated by bubblegum pop?"

"Not just any pop," I corrected, holding up my phone like a torch. "PinkCorals pop."

The Pishtaco attempted to rise, but another burst of Boom Bling sent it crashing back down, clawing at the air.

"Well, don't just stand there!" Agnos said, his claws glowing as he prepared another spell. "Use it to keep it distracted while I set up a containment rune!"

"On it!" I said, quickly queuing up the PinkCorals playlist.

The opening notes of another hit, Mermaid's Melody, blared through the clearing, and the Pishtaco shrieked, its form flickering like a dying flame.

"Keep it up!"

Agnos yelled, tracing glowing runes into the air with his claws.

The next ten minutes were a bizarre mix of pop music, magical sigils, and a creature writhing in agony.

Agnos and I worked in sync—well, as much as one can when one partner is blasting pop music while the other casts complex containment spells. The Pishtaco writhed and groaned, its shadowy form growing weaker with every chorus.

By the time Agnos completed the containment spell, the Pishtaco was barely more than a flickering shadow.

With a final burst of light, the creature vanished, sealed within the glowing sigil etched into the ground.

I turned off the music, the sudden silence almost deafening.

"Well," Agnos said, sitting down and licking his paw. "That was... unconventional."

"I prefer the term innovative," I said, pocketing my phone.

"Unconventional?" I said, pocketing my phone. "That was genius."

"If by genius, you mean absurdly lucky…"

"Call it what you want," I said, grinning.

"But I'm pretty sure I just saved your life with the power of pop music."

Agnos rolled his eyes but didn't argue.

As we began packing up, I couldn't help but chuckle. "You know, if this job doesn't work out, I think I'd make a great DJ."

Agnos shot me a glare. "Don't push your luck."

"Don't get cocky," Agnos muttered, though the faintest hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

I couldn't help but feel a strange mix of pride and disbelief. The Pishtaco might have been one of the most terrifying creatures I'd ever encountered, but in the end, it wasn't claws or spells that had saved the day.

It was Boom Bling.

And that was a victory worth celebrating.

"Let's move on. Our detour can't wait—we're slightly behind schedule," Agnos said as he leaped onto my shoulder, taking the lead.