A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

With the buggy temporarily unavailable thanks to some... unfortunate wear and tear (totally not my fault), Agnos pulled yet another absurd trick out of his hat.

"We'll take a shuttle," he declared, his tone dripping with superiority. "And not just any shuttle—my shuttle. VVVVIP privilege."

"VVVVIP?" I asked. "You're just adding extra 'V's to sound impressive, aren't you?"

Agnos didn't dignify me with an answer.

When we reached the underworld's shuttle transport hub, the chaos of haggling drivers hit me like a tidal wave. Demonic drivers and skeletal chauffeurs clamored around us, shoving pamphlets in our faces and shouting over each other.

"Ride to the Seventh Circle—best rates in Mythica!"

"I'll get you to the Court of Eternal Gossip faster than anyone else!"

"I know shortcuts through the River of Regret—discount for groups of three!"

I blinked, overwhelmed, as a horned driver literally tried to drag me into his rickety chariot.

"Where to, sirs?" one of them called, his voice laced with a businesslike enthusiasm. "I can take you anywhere in the Underworld! For a modest fee, of course."

Another shuttle driver slid in beside him, his eyes flashing eagerly. "The journey to the Ninth Circle? Easy. I know the way. Just name the price."

"Stop it," Agnos said, his voice low but firm. He waved them away, his golden eyes flashing like a warning. "We don't need your services."

The drivers hesitated for a moment, sizing us up, before nodding and retreating. The sight of Agnos's presence was enough to make them think twice, especially considering his reputation.

"You're not going to make me pay, are you?" I asked dryly, still not fully convinced that Agnos wasn't going to spring some surprise payment on me.

Agnos laughed, shaking his head. "Of course not. My VVVVIP privileges get us a free ride. You should be grateful. You're about to experience the finest transportation in all of the Underworld."

Agnos, lounging regally on my shoulder, let out an unimpressed sigh and waved his paw.

A sleek, midnight-black shuttle with glowing blue runes glided to a stop in front of us. Its driver, a sharp-suited skeleton, tipped his hat.

"Lord Agnos," the skeleton said with a deep bow. "Your ride is ready."

I gawked. "Do you just... carry around royalty-level perks wherever you go?"

Agnos preened. "Naturally. Shall we?"

As the shuttle glided effortlessly through the underworld's twisting roads, I took a deep breath and dared to ask the question that had been gnawing at me. "So, this judge friend of yours... he's not going to be, like, a normal judge, is he?"

Agnos tilted his head, feigning innocence. "Define 'normal.'"

"You know," I said slowly, "someone who presides over disputes, hands out sentences, maybe argues about zoning laws?"

Agnos's smile was almost predatory. "Oh, he does all that. And more."

I slumped in my seat. "Great. I'm walking into a nightmare, aren't I?"

The shuttle came to a stop, and the driver opened the door with a flourish. "We've arrived, Lord Agnos."

As I stared at the faintly glowing mist curling around our feet, I couldn't help but ask, "What is this place? It feels... different."

Agnos, perched on my shoulder like a regal ornament, stretched his front paw lazily before responding. "We're now at Diyu. Another underworld area."

I stopped in my tracks, glancing around.

The air here was heavier, carrying an undertone of dread mixed with a strange bureaucratic efficiency.

The buildings were a curious blend of ancient Chinese architecture and modern infrastructure—paper lanterns hung beside LED signs, and spirits carrying scrolls bustled alongside others pushing wheeled briefcases.

"Another underworld area?" I repeated, suspicion laced in my tone. "You're telling me there's more than one underworld? How many are we talking about here?"

"Depends who you ask," Agnos replied nonchalantly, grooming his paw. "But for now, let's focus on this one. It's important."

"Important, huh?" I muttered, eyeing the large gates ahead that read Diyu Processing Center in bold, glowing characters. "What exactly am I walking into?"

"You'll see soon enough," Agnos said with an irritatingly cryptic smile.

***********

Our journey to Diyu was anything but uneventful. Agnos, as usual, decided to make himself scarce, leaving me to navigate the Underworld's bureaucracy with nothing but my wits and an overworked guide named Jia, who seemed perpetually on the verge of a breakdown.

"Diyu isn't just about souls, you know," Jia explained as we passed yet another line of disgruntled creatures waiting outside the Court of Minor Parking Violations. "It's also where Mythica's legal system operates. Everything from tax evasion to... well, you'll see."

I didn't fully grasp what he meant until we reached the Fifth Court, ruled by Lord Zhuanlun. The court was massive, with towering stone walls etched with glowing runes that shifted and writhed like living things.

At the center of the room stood the Yanluo Lord himself, an imposing figure in black robes embroidered with crimson flames.

But it wasn't Zhuanlun's appearance that caught my attention. It was the wheel.

A massive, ornate wheel stood beside him, spinning lazily. Its surface was divided into dozens of sections, each labeled with a potential outcome: "Guilty," "Community Service," "Dragon Food," "Eternal Treadmill," and so on. The smallest sliver, so tiny it was almost imperceptible, read "Innocent."

"Is that... a lucky draw wheel?" I asked, my jaw dropping.

"Yes," Jia said grimly. "It's how Zhuanlun judges cases. Efficient, isn't it?"

"Efficient? That's—" I trailed off as Zhuanlun banged his gavel. The wheel spun with a loud clatter, and everyone in the courtroom held their breath as it slowed, finally landing on "Compulsory Opera Singing."

The defendant, a surly-looking troll, groaned loudly as guards dragged him away.

"This is insane," I whispered.

Jia shrugged. "Welcome to Diyu."

The towering gates of the Diyu's Fifth Court loomed before us, etched with runes that pulsed ominously. The faint sound of wailing echoed from inside, mingling with the clattering of chains and... was that a gong?

Agnos hopped off my shoulder, strolling forward without a care. I followed reluctantly, muttering under my breath. "I bet your friend's not even the good kind of judge. Like a chill uncle who lets you off with a warning. No, he's probably—"

As if on cue, the gates creaked open, revealing an enormous, stern figure seated on a throne of obsidian at the end of the courtroom. His robes shimmered with fire and shadows, and his eyes gleamed with an unsettling mixture of authority and mischief.

"—exactly like that," I finished, glaring at Agnos. "Why do you do this to me?"

Agnos grinned. "Because it's fun."

The grand hall of the court loomed before me, a cavernous space illuminated by flickering green flames. At the far end sat a figure who could only be described as a terrifying mix of authority and eccentricity.

His robes were crimson and gold, embroidered with symbols I couldn't begin to decipher, and his face had a strangely ageless quality—both severe and warm. Behind him, a giant wheel spun slowly, glowing ominously with hundreds of labels in characters I couldn't read.

The judge.

And not just any judge. The name etched into the placard on the desk made my stomach drop: Zhuanlun – Tenth King of Hell.

He was one of the big ones, the last stop in Diyu's ten-court system. The guy responsible for reincarnation and ensuring justice was served, balancing the scales of morality. I had read about him in mythological texts, but those dry descriptions didn't quite prepare me for the real thing.

Before I could gather my thoughts, Zhuanlun's eyes landed on us—well, more accurately, on Agnos.

For a split second, his regal composure vanished. His eyes widened, and then a booming laugh erupted from his throat, echoing off the stone walls.

"Lord Agnos!" he roared, rising to his feet and spreading his arms wide. "You're back! After all this time!"