A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

When my senses returned, I found myself staggering out of the Asphodel Meadows, the ominous vibrations of Domos Haidou fading behind me.

A strange, warm light replaced the underworld's cold glow, and before I could even process the fact that I had narrowly survived an encounter with death, the environment shifted again.

I blinked, and suddenly, I was back in the main lobby of the underworld.

The space was eerily normal, with its marble floors, faintly glowing chandeliers, and the hum of what I suspected was supernatural HVAC.

It felt like a particularly empty lobby—except, of course, for the two figures casually leaning against a ghostly reception desk as if they had all the time in the afterlife.

"Ah, Carl," Thanatos said smoothly, his dark robes flowing with an almost cinematic flourish. "Welcome back."

"Thanatos," I said, forcing myself to sound more confident than I felt.

Beside him stood his twin brother, Hypnos, whose disheveled hair and perpetually drowsy expression gave him the vibe of someone who'd been woken up mid-nap. He stretched lazily, yawning loud enough to make me yawn in sympathy.

"So, you survived," Hypnos said, his voice lilting with amusement. "Death didn't get you, then?"

"Not yet," I muttered, brushing off the lingering dust from my journey.

The two gods studied me with the same intensity one might reserve for an exotic zoo exhibit. I decided to break the tension in the most absurd way possible—because, honestly, that's how I coped.

"Before we all get too serious here," I said, thickening my skin against the very real possibility of rejection, "can I... uh... get a selfie with you two? You know, to commemorate today's adventure. It's not every day a guy survives Hades' realm."

Thanatos and Hypnos exchanged a look. For a moment, I thought I'd overstepped, but then Hypnos shrugged, his smirk widening.

"Why not?" he said.

Thanatos surprised me even more. "Agreed. But only if you add me on Mythigram."

It took me a moment to process that sentence. "You're on Mythigram?"

"Of course," he said, pulling out what appeared to be a spectral version of a smartphone. The juxtaposition of his grim reaper aesthetic with the mundane device almost made me laugh out loud.

The selfie was surreal, to say the least. Thanatos insisted on standing stoically in the background, his scythe casually slung over one shoulder, while Hypnos threw up peace signs and leaned into frame like we were old buddies.

I snapped the shot, the glow of their ethereal forms adding an unintentional filter that would probably go viral.

"Done," I said, still feeling the surreal absurdity of the moment as I pulled out my own device and opened Mythigram. Thanatos handed me his username: @ThanatosTheEnd.

I typed it in and hit follow. The notification that popped up next was... enlightening.

ThanatosTheEnd is following you.

Followers: 1

"Wait," I said, looking up at him. "You... don't have any followers?"

Thanatos adjusted his grip on his scythe, his expression unreadable. "I do now."

Hypnos snickered, clearly enjoying the exchange. "I'm his one and only fan," he said, leaning over to peek at Thanatos's profile. "And I have to say, it's a thankless job."

Curiosity got the better of me, and I clicked over to Hypnos's profile: @SleepyStyle.

The difference was staggering.

Hypnos had millions of followers, a gold checkmark, and a feed that was, for lack of a better word, ridiculous.

His most recent post was a close-up of him sleeping on a velvet chaise lounge, captioned: "Nap vibes. #JustWokeUpLikeThis #Effortless". It had garnered over 1.7 million likes.

Another post featured his "Pajama of the Day" collection—a series of silky, intricately designed sleepwear that somehow managed to look both luxurious and absurd. The comments were full of adoration:

"King of Comfort!"

"Those PJs are FIRE!"

"I need that nap aesthetic in my life."

I stared at the screen, dumbfounded. "You're telling me you get millions of likes for... sleeping?"

Hypnos preened, running a hand through his messy hair. "It's a talent," he said with mock humility. "Not everyone can make unconsciousness look this good."

"And what about you, Thanatos?" I asked, genuinely curious now.

His profile was sparse—just a single post, a hauntingly beautiful black-and-white photo of a sunset over a field. The caption read: "Even the end can be beautiful."

It had three likes.

One of them was mine.

The disparity between the twins was almost painful to witness. Thanatos, the god of death, the embodiment of inevitability, reduced to a lonely social media account with a follower count that didn't even crack double digits.

Meanwhile, Hypnos was living the influencer dream, his self-absorbed posts garnering adoration from mortals and immortals alike.

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered.

Thanatos raised an eyebrow. "It's not a competition."

"Easy for you to say," Hypnos chimed in, scrolling through his own feed with a smirk. "I'm the one winning."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, resisting the urge to laugh at the absurdity of it all. "You two are something else."

"Welcome to the underworld," Thanatos said dryly.

As I tucked my phone back into my pocket, I couldn't help but muse on the strange, cruel difference between the twins.

Hypnos, the embodiment of rest and reprieve, basked in attention for something as simple as napping, while Thanatos, who carried the weight of life's finality, was left to stand in his shadow.

It wasn't fair, but then again, life—and death—rarely was.

Still, the moment wasn't without its charm. For all their differences, the twins had their own kind of camaraderie, an odd but undeniable bond that shone through their banter.

And as I walked away, leaving them to argue over which of Hypnos's PJs deserved the most likes, I found myself smiling. Even in the underworld, life—or whatever passed for it—had its moments of levity.

Just as they were fighting, a booming voice erupted in the lobby.

"Mic testing… 1, 2, 3. Is this thing on? Can you hear me?" A deep, sexy voice echoed through unseen speakers.

I had no idea where the voice was coming from.

Then, a muffled voice chimed in the background. "My lord Hades, you're live now. On air."

"Oh. Right. Ahem. Carl Suis, congratulations on passing the screening test," the voice announced.

Wait, that was the screening test?

Hades continued, "Plushie will bring you to the main floor to have an audience with me."

Plushie? Who's that?

As if reading my thoughts, the Cerberus suddenly leaped toward me and started licking my face enthusiastically.

I burst out laughing. "Hey, it tickles! So you're Plushie!"

Before I meet with Hades, there's something I need to do.

I made my way over to Thanatos, my curiosity about the baby Manticore gnawing at me.

He was standing near the reception desk after the bickering had ended, looking like he hadn't a care in the world. But I had a question that couldn't wait any longer.

"Hey, Thanatos," I began casually, trying to sound like I wasn't about to demand something. "About the baby Manticore—I was wondering if I could have it back, to keep it? You know, since I was the one who found it and all..."

Thanatos turned to me with a slow, deliberate motion, his face a perfect mask of innocence. "What baby Manticore? I do not recall seeing one."

I blinked, momentarily stunned. "What do you mean? You were holding it for me earlier!"

He just raised an eyebrow, his poker face unfaltering. "I don't remember such a creature."

I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could, Hypnos, who had been hovering nearby, leaned in with a sly grin.

"You're looking for Manty, right?" Hypnos said, practically vibrating with mischief. "Well, you're not going to get it back anytime soon. You see, Thanatos has a bit of a soft spot for baby creatures. That baby Manticore? Most likely, it's already been petnapped and hidden somewhere in his castle."

I stared at Hypnos, utterly dumbfounded. I turned back to Thanatos, who was glaring at his twin with a look that could melt steel.

"I did not petnap it," Thanatos growled, his voice low and dangerous. "It was given to me willingly."

My jaw dropped. "Given? Willingly? I only asked you to hold it temporarily for safekeeping while I played the game!"

Thanatos crossed his arms and huffed, not even slightly bothered by my bewilderment. "Well, clearly, I took it as a gesture of goodwill. It's a gift, Carl."

I stood there for a long moment, my brain struggling to process what had just happened. "My suspicions were right," I thought bitterly.

Thanatos had literally taken the Manticore, thinking it was his for the taking. And to him, the baby creature had just been a present, no different than a trinket.

"Look," I began, pulling myself together. "I didn't ask for this. I need Manty back."

Thanatos smirked, clearly enjoying the drama. "Oh, you'll get him back, but on one condition," he said, his tone teasing but sly. "I get to bring him to the Underworld sometimes. I'll take good care of him, of course."

I felt a twinge of annoyance but figured I'd play along. After all, the baby Manticore wasn't going to stay in the Underworld forever. "Fine," I muttered, rubbing my temples. "But I get to have him most of the time. You just get the occasional visit."

Thanatos nodded, satisfied. "Agreed. You may have Manty back after meeting with Hades, but he'll always have a home in my realm. After all, he's a rare little thing."

"Yeah, a rare pain in the neck," I muttered under my breath, but I had no choice but to accept the deal.

I walked away, relieved to have the baby Manticore back in my arms, but I couldn't shake the feeling that Thanatos was going to make sure his claim over the creature remained—at least as long as I was in the Underworld.

As I turned to leave, I caught Hypnos's grin and gave him a pointed look. "You could've warned me."

He just shrugged and lazily rested his head on the desk, looking utterly uninterested.

I sighed, already dreading the next time Manty had to 'visit' Thanatos. "Some days, I wonder if I'll ever get a break."