A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

The square of Mictlan was alive in a way that defied reason. Ghostly fireworks painted the obsidian sky in shimmering blues and golds, illuminating a sea of cheering souls.

Confetti rained down like snow, each flake glowing faintly with an eerie light.

Magical banners unfurled themselves mid-air, bearing my face and the words "Honorary Dead-Living Hero."

"Wait. Honorary what?" I muttered to no one in particular, brushing off a confetti strand that had somehow found its way inside my mouth.

Before I could gather my wits, a sash was draped over my shoulders, bearing the title in bold, glowing letters. It sparkled as if mocking my confusion.

If I'd ever imagined a triumphant moment for myself, it definitely didn't involve my likeness plastered everywhere like I was running for Underworld President.

Suddenly, a swarm of reporters materialized, glowing quills at the ready. Their barrage of questions came at me like ghostly bullets.

"Mr. Suis! Over here!" a ghostly reporter shouted, a floating quill already scribbling notes on its own.

Before I could respond, another reporter cut in. "Carl Suis! How does it feel to defy death and complete the express pathway?"

"Exhilarating," I mumbled, adjusting the spectral roses a tiny ghost child had shoved into my hands. "And, uh, confusing. Are these roses going to vanish if I blink too hard?"

The kid giggled before vanishing entirely. Great. Add 'phantom floristry' to my growing list of inexplicable phenomena here.

"Carl Suis, how does it feel to be the first non-soul to finish the express pathway?"

"Was this victory the result of perseverance, sheer luck, or some mysterious potion?"

"Is it true you once tripped over your own shadow during a trial?"

"Okay, hold up!" I raised a hand to stop the onslaught. "First of all, yes, I did trip over my shadow—thanks for reminding everyone. And second, I don't even know what half of you are talking about!"

The ghostly paparazzi didn't care. Quills scribbled furiously as more questions piled on. Somewhere in the chaos, someone flung a glowing microphone at me, which I barely dodged.

More questions bombarded me. "Was it your human resolve that carried you through? Sheer luck? A secret deal with the Unknown God?"

I winced at the mention of Agnos. "Where is Agnos when I need him?" I scanned the crowd for my snarky feline companion, only to find nothing but floating quills and glowing lenses trained on me.

The supposed "Unknown God" turned purple cat had conveniently disappeared into the ether the moment the fireworks started. Typical.

"Honestly?" I said, forcing a smile. "It was mostly a lot of trial and error. Heavy on the error."

Another reporter shoved a magical microphone in my face. "Can you share your favorite moment from the trials?"

"Favorite?" I blinked, caught off guard. Did 'surviving illusionary but real jaguar' count as a highlight? Or maybe the part where I almost drowned myself trying to cross the river?

Before I could answer, the ground beneath my feet trembled, cutting through the cacophony like a drumbeat of doom. The crowd fell silent. Spectral confetti froze mid-air as a booming voice echoed through the square.

"BEHOLD."

The crowd parted as Lord Mictlan himself emerged, a towering figure of skeletal grace cloaked in flickering shadows and flames. His presence sucked the warmth out of the air, leaving a cold weight in my chest.

His every step resonating with an ominous weight. His presence was so commanding that even the most spectral of the dead seemed to shiver.

"Lord Mictlan," someone whispered reverently.

Lord Mictlan's skull face turned toward me. "Ah, the living anomaly," Mictlan said, his hollow eye sockets glowing faintly. His tone was...almost amused.

"Carl Suis. Congratulations on surviving my trials. Few can claim such an achievement. Even fewer do it with such clumsiness."

A ripple of nervous laughter spread through the crowd. I raised my hand awkwardly. "Uh, thanks? I think?"

Mictlan's grin widened, a terrifying sight on a skull. "As a reward, I invite you to a banquet in your honor. My mansion awaits. Bring your appetite...and your courage."

My stomach, however, sank faster than a lead anchor.

Before I could stammer a response, the crowd erupted into cheers. Lord Mictlan turned and strode away, leaving me with only one thought: This feels like a trap.

********

Lord Mictlan's mansion loomed in the distance like a gothic fever dream. Obsidian towers clawed at the sky, and rivers of glowing green liquid twisted around the grounds like veins of neon. As we approached, spectral chandeliers flared to life, bathing the entrance in an eerie glow.

The interior was as foreboding as the exterior. Chandeliers made of bones hung from high ceilings, casting flickering lights over tables laden with food that looked more ghostly than edible.

And there, lounging on a throne-like chair, was Agnos. The purple-furred menace munched on ethereal fish treats, his expression one of smug amusement.

"You!" I jabbed a finger at him. "Where were you?" I hissed, marching up to him. "Do you have any idea what I just went through out there? Confetti bombs, ghost paparazzi, the whole nine yards!"

Agnos lazily batted at a spectral fish treat floating near his head. "I was watching. You looked…adequate."

"Adequate?!"

"Relax, Carl. It was a test. You passed. Barely."

I wanted to argue, but a ghostly butler appeared, ushering us into the dining hall before I could get a word in.

The banquet hall was as lavish as it was unsettling. Plates of ghostly food shimmered on a long table, though I wasn't sure if it was edible—or if eating it would trap me here forever.

At the head of the table stood Lord Mictlan, his skeletal form bathed in a cold blue light. Beside him, a glowing pedestal held an ornate box.

"The final fragment," Mictlan intoned, his voice reverberating through the room. "It lies within this box, but it is not freely given."

Agnos smirked. "Here we go."

Mictlan continued. "To claim it, you must face not me, but yourself. Your fears. Your doubts. Your attachment to life."

The room darkened. Shadows coiled around me, twisting into shapes that felt all too familiar. One shadow stepped forward, solidifying into...me.