A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

Dr. Philippe quickly handed me another letter before I could fully spiral.

"Read this one too," he said with a knowing smile.

The second letter bore the same seal. I opened it cautiously, and my eyes widened as I read.

"Congratulations, Carl! You're no longer an intern," Dr. Philippe said, his smile widening.

This letter stated that I'd been promoted to a permanent position, assigned to a special department that handled "unique problems."

"Wait. I'm being promoted? Permanently? To a special department?"

Philippe nodded, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "Unique problems require unique solutions. You've proven yourself capable."

"Unique problems?" I repeated. "Am I solving Mythica's version of cold cases now?"

"Something like that," Dr. Philippe said.

Agnos, who had been silent throughout, finally spoke. "It suits you."

Startled by Agnos's interjection, Dr. Philippe displays fear and discomfort at the sight of him. I guess he hasn't gotten used to his presence yet. He still sees Agnos as some sort of god of destruction.

"Just to confirm—there's a raise involved, right?" I asked, squinting at Dr. Philippe like a merchant haggling for their life's savings.

His response? A hearty chuckle and a pat on my back. My heart promptly took a nosedive.

"Uh... you're patting my back," I said, my voice tinged with dread. "Does that mean no?"

"Not just a raise," he said, grinning as if he enjoyed keeping me on edge. "You might even get a bonus for every case you solve."

Oh. Well, that changed everything.

Without thinking, I pumped my fist into the air like I'd just been crowned the ruler of Mythica. The move was not my finest. Realizing how over-the-top I looked, I cleared my throat awkwardly and tried to play it cool.

"It's just... this whole quest has drained a lot of my Mythica credits," I said, scratching the back of my neck. "So, uh, hearing I'd be rewarded handsomely is... motivating."

I followed it with a weak laugh, as if that would make up for my momentary lapse into unfiltered enthusiasm.

The conversation shifted when Queen Isadora finally acknowledged Agnos's presence. To my shock, she bowed deeply.

"What the—" I began, but Agnos interrupted.

"Hello, Kiddo," he said, his tone warm and familiar.

Kiddo?

Queen Isadora straightened, her massive form radiating an aura of reverence. "It's an honor to see you again, my tutor," she said.

Tutor?!

Turns out, Agnos had been her mentor long before his imprisonment. The scale she had given me? It was blessed with his magic.

"When I was young, Agnos told me to give the scale to the rightful person. He said the scale would know who that was," Queen Isadora explained.

"So… it chose me?" I asked, still processing.

"Yes," she said, though her expression was skeptical. "Though I can't say I fully trust you yet. You still seem… incompetent."

Deadpan, I stared at her. Inside, I was cursing up a storm.

Shaking off the insult, I turned to Dr. Philippe. "We're heading to Tír na nÓg next. I've got a quest to finish."

Dr. Philippe nodded. "Understood. The head of the Habitat Program sends his regards and says, 'Let him finish what he was meant to do.'"

Agnos chuckled softly at that, his expression unreadable.

"Any chance I could get a ride?" I asked hopefully.

I managed to convince Philippe to arrange transportation to Tír na nÓg. For a brief, glorious moment, I thought I'd be riding on Queen Isadora's back. Turns out, she was just my escort.

Dr. Philippe grinned. "Queen Isadora will escort you, but you'll be flying in the buggy."

I sighed. So much for riding a dragon.

As the buggy took off, I glanced back at Agnos, who seemed deep in thought. Whatever lay ahead in Tír na nÓg, one thing was clear: this was just the beginning.

********

The first thing that hit me about Tír na nÓg wasn't its mystical aura or divine radiance.

No, it was the bass.

A chest-thumping, ear-drum-vibrating EDM beat that felt like it was being generated by the gods themselves—or at least a demigod DJ who had clearly found the bass-boost dial.

"This is paradise?" I muttered as I stepped off the buggy and onto the sandy shore of the mythical island.

Instead of the serene, ethereal haven I'd expected, I was greeted by a scene that could only be described as Ibiza on steroids.

There were bright, neon lights flashing from colossal stages. Glittering rivers of magical cocktails flowed freely into crystal goblets held by dancing demigods and goddesses. Young, immortal beings frolicked along the beach, their laughter echoing over the music.

"Welcome to paradise!" Agnos declared dramatically, perched on my shoulder like some smug parrot. "What did you expect? Harps and a choir?"

"Well, yeah," I admitted, already overwhelmed by the sensory overload. "Not a rave."

"And yet, this is exactly what paradise is for the young and restless," Agnos said, gesturing to the crowd.

I was about to reply when my attention was snagged by a familiar figure in the crowd.

It was Fiona—our Fiona—swaying unsteadily near the front of a massive stage, a glowing drink in one hand and a sparkly headband with flashing lights perched crookedly on her head.

"Is that Fiona?" I asked, blinking as if my eyes might be deceiving me.

Agnos glanced over and cackled. "Indeed. The ever-prim and proper Miss Serious seems to be letting loose. Or falling apart. Hard to tell."

I wove through the crowd to reach her, dodging a demigod doing flips and a goddess spraying sparkling mist into the air. Fiona turned to me as I approached, her eyes bleary but filled with delight.

"Carl!" she slurred, throwing her arms around me. "You made it! Did you come for Stratos too? They're my favorite!"

I stared at her, stunned. "Stratos?"

"The demigod boy band," she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "They're soooo talented!"

Right on cue, a group of glimmering, ridiculously handsome demigods appeared on stage, striking poses as the crowd roared. Fiona screamed like a superfan, jumping up and down and dragging me with her.

"Fiona, I'm supposed to be—"

"Shhhh!" She pressed a finger to my lips. "You need to feel this, Carl. Let gooo."

Before I could protest, a stunning demigoddess grabbed my arm, pulling me toward the dance floor. "Join us, mortal!" she sang, her voice lilting like a siren's.

"I, uh, I'm flattered, but—"

She wasn't taking no for an answer. Neither was the other demigoddess who appeared at my other side, or the demigod who clapped me on the back with a booming laugh.

"A day off won't kill you," Agnos called out from a lounge chair where three demigoddesses were fawning over him, feeding him grapes like he was Caesar.

"I don't do days off!" I shouted back as I was dragged into the chaos.

********

I staggered into the hotel lobby like a zombie, burdened by three things:

A hangover, though not from drinking—dancing was evidently a sport here. Fiona, who was draped over my back, passed out, snoring softly into my hair. Agnos, who still hadn't gotten off my shoulder since we made our way to the hotel.

The cherry on top? Fiona had vomited on my face somewhere around hour four of carrying her.

"Never," I muttered to myself, "going to paradise again."

I left Fiona in a plush hotel suite, made sure she was tucked in with a bucket nearby, and staggered back to the buggy. Agnos hopped off my shoulder and into the passenger seat, looking far too refreshed for someone who'd partied all night.

"Ready for adventure?" he chirped.

I shot him a glare but started the engine. "Where's the fragment?"

"Deep in the forest," he said, pointing to the dense jungle beyond the shoreline. "Let's get moving. Wouldn't want another hangover to slow us down."

********

The forest was a stark contrast to the wild nightlife we'd just left. The air was cool and fragrant, filled with the chirping of magical birds and the rustle of leaves in the breeze.

We parked the buggy and followed a narrow path that wound through the trees. After what felt like an eternity of hiking, we came to a clearing.

And there it was.

The fragment floated above a serene pool of crystal-clear water, framed by a cascading waterfall. It glimmered faintly, radiating an otherworldly energy.

But it wasn't the fragment that caught my attention—it was the creature lounging in a hammock nearby.

The Guardian Qilin.

A majestic, deer-like creature with golden scales and a flowing mane, the Qilin was the epitome of grace and power.

Except for one small detail: it was wearing a floral shirt and shorts, sipping from a coconut with a tiny umbrella sticking out of it.

At this point, I'm not surprised anymore after what I've seen so far.

The Qilin's eyes snapped open when it noticed us, and it immediately leapt to its hooves, the hammock flipping unceremoniously behind it.

"I—I wasn't slacking off!" it stammered, its voice deep but flustered. "I was… guarding! Vigilantly!"

Agnos snorted. "Sure you were, buddy."

The Qilin cleared its throat and straightened, adopting a more regal posture. "If you wish to claim the fragment, you must first pass me."

"Pass you?" I repeated warily.

"In battle," the Qilin clarified, lowering its head into an aggressive stance.

I stared at it, then at Agnos. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope," Agnos said cheerfully. "Good luck!"

The Qilin pawed the ground, its golden eyes locked on me. "Prepare yourself, mortal. I am a guardian of purity and divine power. Defeating me will not be easy."

I took a deep breath, rolling my shoulders and mentally preparing for what was sure to be a ridiculous battle.

"Alright, big guy," I said, raising my fists. "Let's do this."

The Qilin lunged, and I braced myself for impact. But just before it reached me, it stopped short, its eyes narrowing.

"Wait," it said, sniffing the air. "You reek of… vomit."

"Oh, for the love of—" I began, but the Qilin recoiled, shaking its head.

"This is unacceptable! You must cleanse yourself before we fight!"

Agnos howled with laughter as I stared at the Qilin, dumbfounded.

"Fine," I muttered, trudging toward the waterfall. "But you'd better be ready when I get back."

As I scrubbed my face in the cool water, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of ridiculous twist awaited me next.