A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

I flailed in the air and swam down through the suspended world, weightless and desperate. My limbs moved like I was dragging myself through syrup. Cold sweat prickled my skin.

I instinctively checked my watch before realizing how stupid that was—of course it wasn't ticking. Time was frozen, Carl. Focus.

Five minutes. Maybe four. That's all the time I had left before the pause shattered and we became celestial sashimi. I could already feel the panic sharpening behind my ribs like a blade. This mission—this entire break-in—was going to end in disaster if I didn't think fast.

No backup. No plan B. No Vorta.

We were flying blind into a cosmic death trap.

And worst of all?

We'd already pulled the pin.

I kicked downward through the frozen air, angling toward the gods suspended mid-panic. Agnos's mouth was wide open, mid-shout. Heim's hands were clawed around Agnos's waist, locked in full rescue mode. Jiuge's face was a masterpiece of horrified determination—mid-yank on Heim's hair. One of her tails was caught mid-slap, a blur of fluff and violence inches from Heim's temple.

Gods, what a team.

I hovered just above them, breath catching. The beast was still looming above like some celestial guillotine, moments from dropping. My pulse thudded against my skull.

Okay, Carl, think. You've got a glorified pendant, a pocket full of lint, a half-charged phone, and five minutes of frozen time before a divine prison guardian turns you into interdimensional compost.

My fingers flew to the token still glowing around my neck—Vorta's borrowed magic keeping time hostage.

Can I redirect it? Freeze something else? Extend the pause?

No. I already felt the edge fraying. The light was dimming. Whatever power Vorta had lent me was burning out fast—like a matchstick trying to hold off a wildfire.

I stared at Agnos, then at the beast above.

We can't win this fight.

But maybe… we didn't have to fight at all.

We just need to vanish.

Not retreat. Not flee.

Slip through the cracks.

I fumbled at my bag—because of course I still had it, strapped tight through all this chaos. My fingers closed around the fragments I'd collected—the ones I'd stupidly stashed like Pokémon cards without knowing what half of them did.

Vorta's fragment still pulsed faintly inside, humming like a dying star.

I pulled it out.

The moment my skin made contact, it burned—not pain, but pressure. Like the universe had pressed its thumb against my soul.

A flash—memories not my own.

Vorta, wings outstretched, bending time like wind. A hallway suspended outside chronology. Doors that didn't exist a second ago appearing in midair.

Yes.

A rift.

I could open one.

I didn't know where it would lead—some hallway in Mythica, a random leyline current, or a pocket of infinite doom—but I didn't care.

It was that or death.

"Alright," I muttered to myself. "Let's play celestial roulette."

I clutched the fragment tight and focused.

"Open," I whispered.

Nothing happened.

I gritted my teeth and tried again. "Open."

The fragment pulsed once—twice—

—and then, with a low rumble that cracked through the frozen silence like thunder through glass, space tore itself open a few feet to the left.

It wasn't a door. Not exactly.

It was a seam in the fabric of the world, like someone had sliced a curtain with a cosmic blade. On the other side, shadows twisted. Light bled sideways. There was no place—just motion. Energy. Somewhere else.

I didn't have time to question it.

I drifted toward the gods and yanked at Agnos's arm first—time still held him like glass, but the fragment's light was bleeding into them now. My proximity must've been enough.

Come on, come on…

Time cracked.

Agnos jerked forward, gasping like he'd been drowning.

"What—what just—Carl?!"

"No time—help me pull them in!"

Jiuge blinked awake next, followed by Heim, who yelped as the tail-slap finally made contact.

"What the hell?! JIU—"

"No time!" I shouted. "MOVE! In the rift! NOW!"

They looked around, saw the beast above us twitching—its wings starting to stir.

Time was returning.

Together, we scrambled toward the open rift. Agnos dove first. Jiuge pushed Heim through. I turned back just long enough to see the guardian beast's eyes flare open mid-snarl.

Then I jumped.

For a split second, there was nothing—just light and momentum and the sensation of my body being flipped inside out through a kaleidoscope.

And then—

Silence.

We landed in a void.

Not dark. Not light.

Just… still.

Breathing hard, I sat up, legs shaking.

We were somewhere. Not the Eternal Prison. Not Mythica.

But we were alive.

Barely.

Heim groaned next to me. "Okay… I think I broke my everything."

Jiuge muttered, "I think my soul threw up."

Agnos looked around, eyes sharp. "Where are we?"

I lay back against nothing and stared upward.

"I have no idea."

But inside my pocket, the fragment dimmed—and then went still.

And far, far above us, in the frozen world we'd barely escaped, the prison guardian let out a roar that never reached us.

Everything was shrouded in pitch black.

For a moment, I dared to believe we were safe.

Then came the sound.

Low. Rumbling. The kind of growl that didn't just reach your ears—it crawled up your spine like cold fingers dragging you backwards into something you didn't want to see.

My neck stiffened. The hairs stood on end, alert and screaming.

"What was that?" Heim's voice broke the silence, tight with unease. "Did you hear that?"

We all did.

The growl came from behind us, slithering closer with each breath. Before I could turn, something wet and lukewarm splattered against the top of my head. I froze.

Slowly, hesitantly, I reached up and touched it. The moment my fingers made contact, the stench hit me.

Rot.

But not just any rot. This was fermented despair and death—like someone bottled a corpse's last breath and sprayed it in my face. My stomach twisted violently.

"Oh gods—what is this?! It smells like rotting meat and dragon butt!"

I gagged, barely managing not to hurl. Then I noticed the looks on their faces—the gods, who had faced death and disaster countless times—were pale, grim, and absolutely still.

Agnos' lips parted slightly. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Carl. Whatever you do… don't move."

The way he said it—measured, deliberate—sent my heart into overdrive.

I didn't move. Not because I understood, but because every primal instinct in my body screamed not to.

My voice came out in a hoarse whisper. "There's something behind me… isn't there?"

All three of them nodded in eerie unison. No one spoke. Not even Jiuge. Heim's hand subtly drifted toward the hilt of his weapon, but he didn't dare draw.

I swallowed hard.

My eyes, finally adjusted to the darkness, caught the faintest shimmer of movement above. And that's when I made the worst decision of my life.

I looked up.

Another drop hit my cheek—slick and reeking. I wiped it away with a shaky hand.

And then I saw it.

Massive. Looming. Eyes like molten pits locked on mine, breath foul enough to scorch the grass beneath it. Rows of jagged teeth glistened above me like knives carved from bone.

It wasn't just any war beast.

It wasn't divine.

It was Abyssal.

And not just any Abyssal Emperor War Beast—it was Pazuzu.

The eater of dreams. The plague of ancient winds. The thing that makes gods run and shadows weep.

I did the only thing I could do.

I stopped breathing.