A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

We were packed and ready to go.

Or rather, I was packed—stuffing essentials into my bag like a responsible employee—while the Unknown Gods lounged around, looking like they belonged on the cover of some divine fashion magazine.

Because, of course, they didn't need to pack. Why bother when you could just snap your fingers and summon whatever you needed?

Meanwhile, I was just a regular human whose special abilities included absorbing fragments, blacking out dramatically afterward, and waking up with a headache that felt like I'd been hit by a celestial freight train. Not exactly confidence-inspiring.

But I did have one advantage. I could tell these all-powerful beings what to do. And, for the most part, they actually listened.

Well—everyone except Heim.

Heim, as always, was the outlier, standing off to the side with his arms crossed, radiating the kind of stubborn energy that suggested he'd rather eat glass than take orders from me.

"Not happening," he said flatly.

Agnos, sipping his tea like the whole thing amused him, simply raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that?"

Heim glared. Agnos smiled. The kind of smile that said, You may be strong, but I have leverage.

A long, tense pause. Then, with a begrudging sigh, Heim relented.

"Fine," he muttered. "But only for this mission."

I grinned, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"I'll take it."

********

We soared through the sky, the ruins of the Lost Realm coming into view, a mess of crumbling towers and eerie mist twisting between the trees. Even from a distance, the place reeked of ancient magic and bad decisions.

The plan was set, the teams were in position, and this time, I wasn't just a tag-along employee—I was leading this mission.

It was my job now to handle conservation crises, interspecies conflicts, and high-risk rescue missions, especially ones flagged by the Mythica Cold Archives (MCA)—which, in this case, had identified the ruins as a critical site.

If something there still lived and we failed to secure it, we'd be dealing with another Mythica-level disaster in our hands.

Naga and Fenrir had deployed their best—Alpha Team, the elite investigators, and Omega Team, the emergency response unit. But the real frontliners?

Us.

"Tell me again why we're the ones risking our necks while Alpha Team sits on standby?" I asked, starting to doubt myself for a minute, as I adjust my goggles against the wind.

"Because we're stronger," Heim said flatly, flying beside me with effortless ease.

"You're stronger," I corrected. "I'm a glorified human backpack who absorbs magical fragments and then collapses dramatically like a fainting goat."

Agnos chuckled, sipping tea mid-flight. He had a literal floating saucer beside him carrying a tea set instead of his usual magic thermos, because of course he did. "Ah, but you're our strategic backpack."

Jiuge, her nine tails trailing behind her in the wind, grinned. "A very dramatic backpack."

I shot them both a look but didn't argue.

"Forget I asked. Just me having a minor nervous breakdown," I muttered under my breath.

Agnos smirked beside me, lifting his cup with infuriating grace. "When haven't you?" he mused, taking a slow sip of tea like we weren't hurtling through the sky in a turbulent crosswind.

I side-eyed him. "How are you even drinking that right now?"

"Years of practice." He barely spared me a glance, completely unbothered.

I, on the other hand, was gripping the steering wheel like my life depended on it.

Because it did.

Before heading to the Forest of Forgotten Tales, we made a stop at the Ancient City of Kazan to meet up with Eva and Trauco. For this mission to the ruins, having Trauco on board wasn't just a good idea—it was a necessity.

And, of course, Eva decided to tag along as well—because why make things easier for me?

Eva had insisted on joining Alpha Team, and while I was hesitant at first, I had to admit—she was more than capable. Trauco and Dash had vouched for her skills in archery, and the bow strapped across her back spoke for itself.

"If you're going to let her in," Trauco had said, "at least don't underestimate her."

Fair enough.

Agnos, Heim, Jiuge, and me—acting as the vanguard. Since the ruins' security came with side effects that could mess up anyone who wasn't an Unknown God or the Owner, we were the only ones who could push forward without getting magically scrambled. Our job was to clear the way and disable the worst of the traps before Alpha Team moved in.

Agnos estimated it would take five minutes. I wasn't about to take that at face value, so I gave them ten. If I knew anything about ruins, magical anomalies, and the universe's personal vendetta against me, we were definitely going to need the extra time.

"Alright, final check-in before we land," I called out, shifting in my seat. "Everyone ready?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Heim cracked his knuckles, scowling at the ruins like they owed him money.

Jiuge stretched lazily, tails flicking. "Try not to get us all killed, Carl. I quite like existing."

Agnos took an infuriatingly slow sip of his tea—because of course he had tea. "Exciting, isn't it?"

"Exciting isn't the word I'd use," I muttered.

From behind us, Eva's voice cut in. "For the record, I still think I should be with the vanguard."

I turned, catching sight of her riding Dash beside the Alpha Team, bow slung across her back. "For the record, you're not immune to ancient ruin security. You stay with Alpha Team and wait for our signal. No running ahead, no heroics."

Eva smirked. "I could say the same to you."

…Fair point. But still.

"You've got ten minutes," I reminded them. "Not five, no matter what Agnos says."

"I do love how much faith you have in my calculations," Agnos said dryly.

"It's not faith—it's experience. Last time you said something would take five minutes, we were stuck in an underwater labyrinth for three hours."

Agnos shrugged. "That was a minor miscalculation."

"Tell that to my oxygen levels."

Jiuge snickered. Heim just grunted. "Less talking. More doing."

I sighed. "Fine. Let's move."

The plan was simple.

Vanguard: Me, Heim, Agnos, and Jiuge—going in first to clear the path.

Alpha Team: Waiting outside for our signal. Enter after ten minutes.

Omega Team: Medics, reinforcements, and perimeter security—staying outside the ruins where things were relatively safer.

Trauco had insisted on being with Omega Team, in case the Bi-Blouk—a nightmare parasite that latched onto weak minds—was lurking around. If we found survivors, they'd need him to handle the extraction before things got messy.

"Alright, last call for complaints before we go in," I said as we descended toward the ruins.

"Just one," Heim muttered. "I hate ruins."

Jiuge smirked. "And yet you keep ending up in them. Maybe ruins hate you."

Heim glared. "That is not how that works."

I ignored them and tightened my grip on the steering wheel as we landed. The ground beneath us was solid stone, cracked with age, glowing runes pulsing faintly in warning.

The air clung to my skin like damp silk, thick with the scent of ancient stone and something else—something acrid and metallic, like rusted iron and the aftertaste of old magic. The ruins weren't just old. They were waiting.

I exhaled.

Alright, Carl. Show time.

"Vanguard, move out."