A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

One thing I'd never really questioned since arriving in this world—mostly because I was too busy running from fire-breathing lizards, dodging territorial sirens, and trying not to get sued by a mermaid pop group—was how exactly MECCP prioritized threats.

Like, what made one creature more of a priority than another? Was it size? Danger level? How loud they could yell? Because if that were the case, I had some sirens I'd like to nominate for top-tier classification.

Standing in front of Naga, Fenrir, Heim, Agnos, and Jiuge, I cleared my throat. All eyes were on me. No pressure.

"Right, I know this is sudden," I started, trying to sound as professional as possible. "But if I'm going to actually make progress in this unit, I need a proper system. So, I put together a legend to classify threats and files from the MCAs to date."

Naga's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, Carl?"

Before I could answer, Heim cut in with an unimpressed frown. "I thought this was a mission briefing. What's this about classifying things?"

I held back a sigh. "Yes, it is. But before we jump into the mission, we need to establish a clear threat system. It'll help things run smoother in the future and help me make better calls on what needs immediate attention."

Fenrir, at least, seemed on board. He nodded, arms crossed. "I like that idea. Continue, Carl. Let's hear this."

Okay. That was one god on my side. I'd take it.

"This isn't anything new," I continued. "In fact, back on Earth, we have similar classifications for species conservation. So, I'm suggesting we adapt something like this to MECCP."

I took a deep breath. "Alright, let's break this down into something digestible, yeah?"

I glanced around the room.

Naga looked attentive. Fenrir had that wise, all-knowing expression going on. Jiuge was watching me with curiosity. Agnos was sipping tea, his expression unreadable but amused. Heim, on the other hand, looked like he was two seconds away from demanding why this even mattered.

"Back on Earth, we classify species based on how close they are to, well… disappearing forever," I explained. "I figure we should have something similar here, just so we're not running around in chaos, arguing over which creatures need priority."

Naga nodded. "I see. And what are these classifications?"

I held up a finger. "First, EX—Extinct. That's when a species is completely gone. No living specimens left."

Naga frowned. "Like… completely wiped out?"

"Yeah. Gone. Poof. Only exists in history books and people's regrets." I shrugged. "Like how humans wiped out the dodo back home."

Fenrir tilted his head. "A tragic fate."

"Right? So, next is EW—Extinct in the Wild. That means they're gone from nature but still exist in captivity or protected reserves."

Agnos raised an eyebrow. "So… you mean like the glorified zoo exhibits back in your world?"

"Basically." I sighed. "It's like keeping something alive but only in controlled environments. Think of it as a VIP section, but instead of luxury, it's survival."

Naga hummed thoughtfully. "I assume the next one is worse?"

"Oh, yeah." I tapped my notes. "CR—Critically Endangered. This means a species is on the verge of extinction. One bad day, one disaster, and boom—gone."

Heim scoffed. "So, like my patience right now?"

I ignored him. "Next, EN—Endangered. Not as bad as critically endangered, but still serious. These species are in decline and at high risk of extinction."

Fenrir rubbed his chin. "So, we're looking at species that require immediate action?"

"Exactly," I said. "Then we have VU—Vulnerable. They're not in immediate danger, but they're heading in a bad direction. Think of it as a red flag before things get worse."

Jiuge raised a hand. "And after that?"

I snapped my fingers. "Last one—NT—Near Threatened. They're stable… for now. But if conditions worsen, they could move up the list."

I glanced up to gauge their reactions. Naga looked intrigued. Fenrir nodded along like this all made perfect sense. Jiuge sipped her tea, looking entertained. Heim, however, still looked mildly irritated—probably because this wasn't directly about Agnos.

Honestly, that guy screamed "overprotective brother with no chill."

"So," I said, crossing my arms. "Thoughts?"

Naga nodded approvingly. "This system would bring much-needed structure to our conservation efforts."

Heim sighed. "So, all of this just to say some creatures are more doomed than others?"

I shot him a look. "Yes, Heim. That's exactly it. Now, do you want to be helpful or just sit there and look pretty?"

Jiuge chuckled. "I vote for the latter."

Fenrir smirked. "I must admit, this system is well thought out."

Agnos grinned. "So, does this mean we get to categorize creatures now?"

"Oh, absolutely." I grinned back. "And something tells me some of you are going to have opinions on what goes where."

Naga folded his arms, his golden eyes thoughtful. "We do have something sort of similar here," he admitted. "But it's vague. Nothing as structured as what you're suggesting."

He glanced around the room, then sighed. "MECCP is still new, and let's be honest—most creatures only come to us as a last resort. By the time we get involved, extinction is already knocking on their door."

Fenrir hummed in agreement. "We react. We don't observe."

"Exactly," Naga said. "We've been so focused on emergencies that we've never prioritized long-term conservation. No real data tracking, no early intervention—just scrambling to put out fires when things are already past saving."

I raised an eyebrow. "So basically, we're the equivalent of a fantasy-world fire department, but instead of stopping fires, we're running around trying to convince endangered species not to die?"

Naga sighed. "That's… depressingly accurate."

Agnos sipped his tea. "Tragic, really."

Jiuge frowned. "Then we need to change that."

"That's the idea." I clapped my hands together. "Which is why this classification system is step one. If we can see the problem coming, maybe we can actually do something before we're stuck with another 'whoops, another species bit the dust' report."

Naga nodded. "Agreed. If we wait until it's obvious, it'll be too late."

I grinned. "Glad we're on the same page. Now, Heim, try not to look so thrilled about this."

Heim, who had been scowling the entire time, rolled his eyes. "I am thrilled. Can't you tell?"

Jiuge chuckled. "Maybe we should classify his mood next."

I clapped my hands together. "Alright, now that we've got that sorted, let's move on to the fun part—the mission. We're heading into the ruins in the Forest of Forgotten Realms."