A Zoologist’s Guide to Surviving Magical Creatures

"He's telling the truth," Eva said, stepping in through the door. She held up two wine bottles in her hands, her expression unreadable. "But somehow, someone tamed it. So it's temporarily calm now."

Then she looked at me.

"My precious wines!" I rushed forward, snatching the bottles from her hands like a man clinging to his last shred of hope.

Hugging them to my chest, I let out a relieved sigh. My lifeline.

Eva blinked at me, clearly caught off guard. "Uh… you're welcome? You dropped them when you ran off. Good thing I managed to grab them before they hit the ground."

I barely heard her. I turned my gaze to Trauco, holding up the wine like an offering. "I brought the wine. Now rid me of the Bi-blouk."

Trauco gave a tired smile and nodded. "Let's have a drink. You and I."

I nodded back. "Just for the record, this wine is mine."

Then, pulling out the VVVVIP card, I returned it to Trauco.

"Didn't get to use this. I used my owner's perks instead." I grinned smugly. Then, I turned to Agnos.

"Turns out being an owner outranks even a VVVVIP," I said, emphasizing owner just enough for Agnos to hear.

Agnos smirked, arms crossed. "Yeah. Temporarily. Nothing to brag about."

I frowned. Wait. He was right.

My owner status was temporary.

Damn it.

That meant I did need to get myself that extra 'V' after all.

Still, I lifted my chin. "For now, I win," I declared, ignoring the chuckles from the three gods.

Trauco treated me—after downing two full glasses of my precious Tunder Spirit Wine. By the time I was cured, I felt lightheaded.

Maybe because I'd also chugged three glasses myself. A mistake, in hindsight. My body hummed with an odd mix of clarity and intoxication.

Light. Energized. And for some reason… ridiculously chirpy.

"Let's deal with that hybrid chicken!" I declared, punching the air like I'd just solved world hunger.

Silence.

Everyone turned to stare at me. Even Agnos, who rarely reacted to anything, raised an eyebrow.

"Great. He's drunk," Jiuge muttered, arms crossed.

Amaterasu, on the other hand, was giggling—because of course she was. Worse, she was recording the whole thing on her phone.

"I'm not drunk!" I shot back, then straightened up with self-importance. "As your superior—"

"Drunk superior," Agnos corrected with a smirk.

I waved him off. "I'm not drunk! I can think perfectly fine. And as your very sober, totally rational superior, I order you all to use your powers to stun that damn creature before it barbecues the entire city!"

Eva frowned. "You can't attack the protector of the city."

I snapped my gaze toward her. "Why not? You saw it! That thing wasn't protecting anyone—it was torching buildings like it was prepping for a feast."

"That's exactly why something feels off," Eva said, brows furrowing. "Zilant has never attacked the city before. Not once. It protects this place. For it to turn aggressive out of nowhere… something must have triggered it."

I shut my mouth. She was right.

My mind began racing, replaying the attack in my head. Zilant had been furious, scorching everything in sight. But… it hadn't actually targeted the people and creatures. It was looking for something. And the moment it saw me, it went berserk.

Did I do something?

But then, when I threw food at it, it calmed down.

Wait.

Was it… hungry? But why? A creature that massive shouldn't struggle to hunt for itself.

I rubbed my chin, my earlier intoxication fading as logic took over. "Eva, does your city make offerings to Zilant? Like how people appease gods?"

Eva blinked. "No. Zilant protects us willingly. We've never had to offer it anything."

Trauco nodded. "True, it's been like that for centuries. No treaties, no agreements. It just never attacked the city—until now."

"Maybe it's having a midlife crisis," Agnos said dryly.

I ignored him. "Then where does it usually hunt?"

Eva hesitated. "No one knows."

"Actually," Trauco interjected, adjusting his glasses, "historical records mention that Zilant feeds on Allghoi. But Allghoi only surface once every fifty years. A single mature Allghoi is enough to keep Zilant full for five decades."

The room went still.

Then, as one, Jiuge, Amaterasu, and I turned our heads toward Agnos.

Agnos, mid-sip of his tea, froze. His expression faltered for a fraction of a second—before he quickly masked it with indifference.

Jiuge smacked the back of his head with her tail. "Agnos! You—"

I thrust out my hand. "Agnos. Give me the Allghoi."

He scoffed. "Why bother? Just kill the damn bird and be done with it. Problem solved. Besides, I caught the Allghoi. Finders keepers."

"Agnos." My voice dropped, serious now. "If you don't hand over that Allghoi, we're all going to be barbecued. And worse, if Zilant dies, the city's balance could collapse. There's a reason it's the protector. If it's gone, the consequences could be worse than one rampage."

A long, exasperated sigh.

Then, finally, Agnos reached into his coat and pulled out a glass container. Inside, a shrunken Allghoi squirmed sluggishly, encased in preservation magic. He shoved it into my hands.

"Tsk. You were the one who wanted me to kill it in the first place," he muttered.

I ignored the jab.

Clutching the container tightly, I turned toward the door.

Time to feed a very hangry dragon-chicken.

*********************

I let out a relieved sigh as I watched Zilant happily pecking away at the dried meat scattered on the ground. At least for now, the city's so-called protector wasn't trying to roast me alive.

Eva, witnessing the scene, looked genuinely impressed.

The same couldn't be said for the three gods who had tagged along—not necessarily to help, but more likely to see if I'd get turned into dragon feed.

"You treated the city's protector like a farm chicken?" Jiuge blurted, her expression caught between disbelief and reluctant admiration. "That's… impressive, Carl. Only you could have thought of something this ridiculous."

I shrugged. "I didn't have a choice. It tried to peck me first! No thanks to Agnos for stealing its food. It must have sensed it all the way from wherever it usually hunts."

Zilant's head snapped up at my voice, its beady eyes locking onto me. With a sharp, ear-piercing shriek, it flared its wings wide.

Eeeek! EeeeEEK!

I quickly raised my hands in mock surrender, one of them gripping the glass-encased Allghoi. "I come in peace! Look! An Allghoi! Just for you."

Zilant hesitated, its gaze flickering between me and the container. It was listening. That was good. Step one: don't get eaten—successful.

Slowly, I crouched down and placed the shrunken Allghoi on the ground. I shot Agnos a sharp look, signaling him to release the creature.

With a dramatic sigh, Agnos flicked his wrist. The glass case shattered into glowing particles, and in an instant, the tiny specimen expanded back to its original size—a massive, lifeless, red intestine-looking thing.

Zilant's eyes sparkled with unfiltered joy. Its wings flared out, kicking up a whirlwind that nearly sent us tumbling.

I barely managed to shield my face from the sudden gust as Zilant let out an eager squawk and—

GULP.

Yep. One bite. Gone.

Jiuge gagged audibly. "Ugh, I'm gonna be sick."

Amaterasu covered her eyes, unwilling to witness the carnage. The rest of us? Just… stunned.

Zilant, now satisfied, turned its attention back to me. It leaned down, its massive beak hovering inches from my face. I held my breath.

Then it tilted its head. Studied me. And—

SQUAWK!

Something shot out of its mouth, hitting me square in the face with a solid THUD before bouncing onto the ground.

"Ow! What the hell?!" I groaned, rubbing my nose.

Zilant let out a final shriek and, with a powerful flap of its wings, soared into the sky, disappearing beyond the city walls.

"That… went well," Agnos commented, smirking—until his eyes landed on the object Zilant had just spat out. His smirk vanished.

Jiuge, too, suddenly went stiff.

"What?" I frowned, following their gazes. The object lay on the ground, oddly familiar. I bent down, reaching for it.

"Oh, look! A thank-you gift," I mused, completely unaware of the impending disaster.

The moment my fingers brushed against it, an overwhelming sensation of déjà vu hit me like a tidal wave.

"Wait! Don't touch—"

Too late.

Pain.

A splitting, excruciating pain tore through my skull, like my brain had just been forcibly plugged into a cosmic power outlet.

My vision darkened.

The last thing I heard was the distant sound of Agnos and Jiuge shouting before everything went black.