NOVEL NEXT The story
“That’s a terrible idea,” I sighed.
In front of me stood my best friend, Molly, in what was probably the most stereotypical witch costume ever. All black and purples, pointy hat, even the black belt with the square gold buckle thing, and it all looked to be surprisingly good quality too; I was actually kinda envious of her being able to pull off outfits like these. She also held a pastel colored plastic wand with a star at the end that didn’t match the set at all, but which she assured me was very important. The problem? Molly was an actual witch. Well, nobody had called magic users ‘witches’ and ‘wizards’ and all that stuff in a really long time, but the point was, she could do actual magic, and everybody at our unofficial class Halloween party knew that.
“Come on, you know you like it!” she teased.
I put my hand on my forehead. “Yes, and that’s exactly how I know it’s a terrible idea.”
“I think it’s quite cute,” we heard the voice from the other end of the living room.
“Thanks, Mom,” Molly responded. “See? It’s gonna be fine. Now all we gotta do is find you some matching costume.”
“Do we have to?” I shifted uncomfortably.
“I mean, we don’t, but come on, we never go out anywhere together. It won’t be the same without you…”
“I know, but… even the thought being dressed up in front of many people that know who I am makes me anxious…” I responded.
“Hmm…” Molly put her hand on her chin, and then snapped her fingers, while still holding her wand and somehow not looking silly. “I know! If you don’t want people looking at you, we can make it so you don’t look like you!”
“Are you suggesting…?” I asked.
“I mean…” Her hand started glowing, highlighting the uselessness of the wand it held even more. “I’m not not suggesting it.”
“That sounds like a bad idea,” I said, listening to my voice of reason. “That’s a bad idea, right?” I asked more in the direction of Molly’s mom than Molly herself.
“Not really, actually,” Molly’s mom responded. “I used to do transformation magic with my friends a lot when I was your age, and before you ask, it never really ended badly. As long as you don’t try to impersonate someone, and know when to stop, it’s okay, and I doubt you two will have problems with either of those. Getting a different perspective on things might actually help you more than anything, and even if it won’t, it’ll just be some harmless fun if you let it be.”
Heck. That was not an excuse I was looking for. Worse than that, I had an actual responsible adult telling me that this was actually a good idea. And Molly’s mom was probably the only adult I trusted to be actually thoughtful and responsible.
“Okay, fine, we can try,” I turned to Molly. “Do you have something specific in mind?”
She just laughed theatrically. “Oh, I can show you.”
I rolled my eyes. Might as well get on with it before I start feeling anxious again. “Go ahead.”
Molly, the huge dork that she is, pointed her still-not-magical wand at me as her hand started to glow. I could feel too many things to describe happening at once, though the only one I could really pinpoint was me getting shorter, which I was sure had nothing to do with the countless times I’d complained to Molly about my dislike of being tall. And just as quick as it began, the transformation ended, and now I had to look up at Molly.
I briefly thought about trying to look at myself to see what has changed, but then it occurred to me that it would probably be much easier to do with the use of a mirror, so I decided to wait. I felt soft, and actually, surprisingly relaxed. I also felt something move around my lower spine, which should have made me jump in surprise, but for some reason, it didn’t. It felt kinda natural, actually.
“I understand that you’re excited, dear, but you should inform people what you’re going to do before you do it,” Molly’s mom explained.
Molly’s face shifted as if a realization sunk in. “Oh hell, right, sorry. Are you okay? You’re not, like, freaking out or anything?”
“Why would I freak out?” I asked, in a voice distinctively higher and softer than my regular one.
“Why don’t you go to the bathroom and take a look in the mirror? I think it’d be for the best right now,” Molly’s mom suggested.
I curiously tried to look at my hand, only to find it obstructed by the sleeve of my hoodie. “That’s probably a good idea.”
Once I closed the bathroom door behind me, I stopped and took a deep breath, then I stepped in front of the mirror. Looking back at me was a black-haired green-eyed catgirl. The black fur-covered cat ears drew my attention as they moved slightly in the reflection. They had a fair bit of white fluff sticking out of them which felt a bit funny when I tried to move them; I eventually succeeded at making them flick and flatten. I wasn’t sure they were anatomically correct; in fact, I was pretty sure that even scaled to a human head they might have been a bit big, but they were fun anyways.
Next, I inspected the odd movement from earlier, and confirmed it to be a tail. It was also covered in black fur, which had more volume to it than I expected. It was soft. I tried moving it around, and discovered that unfortunately I couldn’t use it to pick things up or anything like that, so it was mostly for stability and swishing. What surprised me the most was how intuitive moving it around was, I barely had to put in any effort to learn the movement of what was essentially a brand new limb, and I wondered why that was; humans still had, like, tailbones and stuff, maybe the knowledge of how to use a tail was some sort of evolutionary leftover from back when we had tails? Regardless of the technicalities, I decided that I liked it.
With the cat part pretty much well inspected, it was the time for the girl part, and honestly, I was kinda at a loss there. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see how I looked when I wasn’t in the oversized clothes I could barely keep on, or that just letting myself enjoy how soft everything suddenly felt didn’t sound appealing, but at the same time, I didn’t want to cross any lines here, and I didn’t exactly know where those were. Granted, it was a bit of a special situation considering it was still my body, just differently shaped, but that didn’t exactly make the situation clearer, and I still needed to ask Molly about why she chose specifically catgirl. Besides, the current arrangement of my body was very temporary, just for the party, so I felt that letting the reality of it fully set in would be a bad idea.
Actually, that was a good question — was I going to the party? The responsible part of me, the one that usually kept me out of trouble, was still pretty set on this being a bad idea, but… there was another part, one that I wasn’t really familiar with, but it was going pretty loud now — I… wanted to experience this. This time was unique when it came to the opportunities to do something different. Usually, it would be the same anxious, boring, depressed me but in a different place or situation, but this one was actually different, and I didn’t know if I would ever get another one. I mean, Molly was still my best friend, I could just ask her to turn me into a catgirl, or anything else for that matter, but it’s not like I ever would ask — I just didn’t have it in me.
And so, I decided that, since the opportunity presented itself to me, I would let myself experience this.
I left the bathroom to be met with Molly looking concerned.
“Are… are you okay?” she asked.
I nodded. “I think… I’ll go to the party. Like that, I mean…”
Molly immediately perked up. “Really?” I tensed up as I immediately got wrapped in a hug. “Thank you!”
Did she really want to take me to that party this much? I didn’t think it was that important…
She suddenly backed away and covered her mouth. “I didn’t even ask, I’m sorry.”
I was usually rather, well, touchy when it came to physical contact, but… I looked to the side. “I’ll allow it.”
I tensed up for a moment as her arms went around me again, but I managed to relax into it a bit this time.
When the embrace ended, Molly stood in front of me and looked at me intently for a couple seconds. “If you’re going to keep swishing your tail like that, somebody’s going to try and grab it.”
At that thought my tail instinctively flew to my chest and I hugged it protectively. “No grabbing.”
“Okay, fine.” She put a hand on my head. “No grabbing.”
“By the way… I understand the why of the cat thing, but not so much the… other thing…” I looked away, embarrassed.
“I mean, you didn’t want people to see you, and I figured it’d be the easiest way to achieve that,” she explained.
“Oh…” I sounded almost… disappointed?
“And also...” She gave me a moment to look up at her. “I was curious how you’d act as a girl.”
“But… I’m still me?” Why would I act differently?
Molly’s mom took the opportunity to speak up. “Yes, but people have a tendency to act differently depending on how they’re perceived and how they perceive themselves, not even mentioning that some people are simply more, or less for that matter, comfortable with having certain physical traits than others; I’m sure I don’t need to explain to you how much that can affect how you act.”
I nodded. It sounded about right, though there was one part that drew my attention more than others.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get to ask about it, as it turned out that Molly had confused the hours and we had a lot less time before the party than she assumed we did. Molly loaned me some… articles of clothing, and with the quick magic-assisted clothes resizing, we were ready to go.
Both me and Molly sat in the back seat of the car, which let her nudge me at some point during the ride. “Hey,” she half-whispered for some unclear reason.
“Hmm?” I tilted my head. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know. I just felt it’d be appropriate in this situation.
“I think you’re already more expressive like this,” she said.
“I feel like these,” I looked up and flicked my ears for effect, “are somewhat responsible.”
She covered her mouth. “Did you just…?”
I tilted my head again and flicked my ears twice. “What?”
She looked away, still covering her mouth. “You’re way too good with these for your own good.”
For a moment, I thought that was the end of our short conversation, but then I felt a hand on top of my head. It felt… surprisingly nice. Was that a cat thing?
“That’s for messing with me.” Molly smiled, and I expected her to do something unpleasant to me, but she just… kept patting my head.
I mostly managed to not visibly lean into it.
As we arrived, Molly immediately dashed to a bathroom in order to correct her costume after sitting in the car, since it apparently had several layers to it, which made me increasingly glad I got to keep my hoodie.
But more importantly, I was left waiting for her with her mom in front of the school building, which let me address the thing that was idly stuck on my mind for most of the road there.
“Um, I have a question.” I paused. “You said that different people can be less, or more comfortable with certain things, so, umm… is it possible for someone to be uncomfortable with parts of the body they were born with?”
“Yes, it is quite common. For most people, it seems to just be small things, but there are some people who find almost nothing pleasant about what they got. It’s all just a genetic lottery, unfortunately. That goes the other way too, though. There’s always going to be something a person will find comfortable; for example, you seem really good with those ears and tail for how short a time you’ve had them,” she explained.
I brought my tail up to look at it. “It just feels… natural,” I admitted.
“See, for a lot of people it wouldn’t. Trust me, I tried it out myself, it’s just not for everyone. But you being natural with those should help you understand the topic more,” she responded.
“If I’m comfortable with cat ears and tail, then… what would that mean?” I asked.
“It wouldn’t mean anything you wouldn’t want it to mean, and what you want it to mean is entirely up to you. That’s the sort of thing one can only decide for themself. Is that why you’re asking?”
“I’m just… I’m trying to make sense of all of it in my head…” I said.
“If you have some more questions, I’m always more than happy to help.”
“Th-thank you…”
I heard some noise from behind me and as I turned around I got welcomed by Molly running up to me and putting her hand on my head for a short moment. Then she said a quick goodbye to her mom and dragged me away as the party had apparently already started.
Luckily, I hadn’t gotten any enhanced hearing from my new ears, otherwise the room we just entered would have been really overwhelming. I didn’t really know what to expect from such a party; I’d never been to anything similar, but the ambient music playing at acceptable volume, dressed up people chatting in small to medium groups, and some tables with drinks and candy on them were far from the worst I imagined.
The calmness started to fade as people began noticing me. Right, still a catgirl. Somehow, I’d already managed to forget it was anything but normal; unfortunately, many people were there to correct me.
I closed my eyes, not knowing what reaction to expect, until what I recognized as a voice of one of the girls in our class said, “Wow, you’re so cute! What’s your name?”
I froze. I didn’t know what to say in several different ways. In our rush to get here on time, we hadn’t even come up with any name to introduce me by.
Molly seemed to have it under control. “That’s Kat, she’s a friend. Just be careful, she gets anxious easily.”
She was very lucky she was so thoughtful and we had the same awful sense of humor, otherwise she wouldn’t get away with it that easily.
My grumpiness was allowed to exist for an entire second before I started getting bombarded with… compliments? What? How? I was somehow feeling overwhelmed in a way that wasn’t bad; I wasn’t able to pick up all the words, but ‘adorable’ and ‘cute’ were ones that got repeated a lot, which was making me feel all fuzzy. I didn’t understand; what was happening to me? I felt my face heat up a lot, and I couldn’t help but smile. Like, I literally couldn’t stop myself from smiling no matter how much I tried.
It didn’t make sense! Being complimented was supposed to remind me of how much I disliked how I looked and generally make me feel bad, not… whatever it felt like now! ...right?
In my confusion, I didn’t even notice everyone leaving us until it was just Molly and me.
“You know,” she started. “I don’t know how I expected you to react to something like that, but that certainly wasn’t on my list.”
I wondered what she meant by that and then realized I was still smiling. Bad mouth! You’re not supposed to do that! Because of… reasons…
And just as I thought I was starting to have myself back under control, I noticed Lucy walking over to us. Lucy was Molly’s closest friend in class outside of me; she’d tried talking to me a couple of times, but I always felt too anxious to really properly get into conversation, so all I really knew about her was that she was really confident and openly gay. But, more importantly now, she was also normally tied with me for second tallest person in class, which meant that right now she was over a head taller than me.
For a moment, I thought she was just going to say hello to Molly, but then she spoke directly to me. “Hi there.”
“H-hi?” I attempted to respond.
“A mysterious friend, huh?” She looked me over. “Enjoy yourself tonight, cutie.” She winked at me.
What?
She started walking away and said to both of us, “Talk to ya later.”
Just as I thought I was under control, I suddenly was even less than before.
“Yup, she figured us out,” Molly commented. “Didn’t expect her to just flirt with you like that tho.”
“Aaa?” I aaa’d.
“Oh, right, she just does that sometimes, don’t worry about it,” Molly said, as if it explained anything.
I suppose it did make some sense; it being just a thing Lucy did was far more likely than any other option. Too bad literally nothing else made any amount of sense.
Okay, I needed to calm down. I took a deep breath. Still wasn’t anywhere near calm, but it would have to do.
So what was the problem? I didn’t understand things, I was confused, it didn’t make sense. But there had to be sense somewhere, there had to be something to understand, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened, right?
The first question, then -- why did being complimented feel different now? Like, I was still me underneath, and the body wasn’t really, like, a thing I’d earned or anything, even if it looked nice. Was it just that the compliments were different, and they actually partially applied this time around? But it was still about things that were very new and temporary; shouldn’t there be a disconnect because of that? Then again, I was already feeling pretty attached to my new ears and tail, and being short was hard to miss and certainly nicer than being tall.
Now that I thought about it, was I feeling nice about compliments because of the cat parts being complimented, or the g— the other parts? It was… both? But… why? I mean, the cat part was obvious; cats were good and cute and I still was amazed at how natural these parts felt for me, especially considering it wouldn’t be like that for most people.
But… why would I enjoy being complimented as a girl and not as a guy? I mean, I knew why I hated compliments as a guy; first of all, they were obvious lies, but also when people complimented my physical traits, they always presented the things I hated as good. And being complimented as a girl… well, that didn’t really make much sense. Was it just, like, how it was supposed to feel to be complimented? But that still didn’t explain anything.
Okay, let’s make a huge assumption to help with this -- people generally enjoy being complimented. It’s pretty out there, I know, but I felt there might actually be something to it? If that was the case, then it probably meant that this was generally what you’re trying to achieve when complimenting someone, and that it worked? At least to a degree? But that would mean that guys liked being complimented as guys, and girls liked being complimented as girls, and, I mean, I’d always known I wasn’t exactly the norm of what being a guy was, but maybe…
Maybe, if I was actually handsome, then being called handsome wouldn’t feel so bad?
Bleh, no! What was I thinking? That’s even worse! I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting this! But if it was true that guys did usually want that…
Just as I thought I was starting to understand, it suddenly became more confusing than it was before.
I was taken out of my confusion spiral by a hand on my head.
“I must say, the way your ears flatten when you’re deep in thought is adorable,” Molly commented.
Aaaand my face was heating up again. Luckily, she handed me a cup of something to drink, which was when I noticed we were standing next to the tables. Apparently I’d followed her on autopilot when I was lost in thought.
“Are you okay? I hope you aren’t retreating because you’re uncomfortable,” she asked.
I shook my head. “That’s not it. And honestly, it’s actually way better here than I expected.”
“But are you feeling okay in here?” she repeated.
I looked at the big room, filled with small groups of talking people and too much light for my comfort. “It’s a bit overwhelming, but I can deal with it.”
She smiled and patted my head again. “I’m glad.”
I looked up at her hand. “You’re lucky you have the headpat privileges.”
“Do I, now?” She laughed.
I nodded. “You get to pat head. Nobody else gets to pat head.”
“Uh-huh. Well, I’m honored.” She patted my head more, which I was not opposed to.
The rest of the party was actually surprisingly calm. Most people just stood and talked with each other, which made me a bit grumpy about the fact we didn’t have chairs to just sit on. I’d really expected at least some people to do stuff like dancing, but aside from the two guys doing a rather impressive dance routine when some romantic song started to play, nobody really did that.
Meanwhile, I actually got to meet other girls Molly hung out with at school, since I was way too anxious to approach them normally. That meant that I had to interact with Lucy again, which made me a little anxious, but she didn’t make any references to what happened earlier, which also made me anxious. While I did feel less anxious about interacting with new people than I usually would, the transformation didn’t make me any better conversationalist, which led to most words said by me in the conversation being just apologies for not speaking much.
I was assured that it was okay, and at some point someone called me an ‘emotional support catgirl’; upon seeing my reaction to that, everybody involved decided that that was my nickname for the day. And of course, Molly made full use of her headpat privileges, which might have led to me leaning on her, including one time I might have leaned so hard I almost made us both fall to the floor, but really, it was her fault for being so good at headpatting more than anything.
The ride back to Molly’s place was very quiet, despite the fact that I did the unthinkable - I sat in the middle seat. I, of course, did it totally not for ease-of-getting-headpats related reasons. Not at all. The only real thing that happened was Molly’s mom shooting us (mostly me), knowing looks whenever we stopped on traffic lights; it was reassuring to know that at least one person involved seemed to have any knowledge of what was even happening at this point.
The comfort stopped however, when we arrived at the entrance corridor, and I was asked a question by Molly’s mom, “Now that you had some time to think about it, do you have anything to say? Or maybe more questions?”
And, listen, I knew I probably should have just asked about the confusing things, it would have been a really reasonable choice, except for one problem - I didn’t know anything about that stuff. I didn’t even know what kind of question to ask, and I definitely didn’t know if there wasn’t some sort of taboo around the topic. I was scared asking a question would get me a negative reaction, and if there was something I was terrible at dealing with, it was fear. Maybe I could have just asked a question like it was nothing, but I didn’t really want to risk that, especially given how nice the day was so far.
And so, I just meekly shook my head.
After Molly changed out of her costume, we ended up watching TV, and her hand landed on my head again. I was starting to strongly suspect she might have gotten enjoyment of doing that too, somehow. I didn’t know how it would even work, but given how eager she seemed to do it, I didn’t really know any other explanation either.
I was getting really relaxed until I was asked another terrifying question, “It’s getting close to when you’re supposed to be leaving, isn’t it?”
I just mumbled something akin to “not yet” and leaned on the couch more.
Molly sighed. “Fine, I’m sure you can stay a bit longer today.”
Both of us knew my parents would probably end up calling Molly’s mom if we did that, but she didn’t seem to object to the idea, so that was my plan now — stay here as long as possible.
And then Molly started scratching me behind my cat ear. It was like the feeling of scratching a nasty itch, except without the itch, and it wasn’t really that much, but for some reason it really got to me, resulting in my slumping onto Molly’s lap. She didn’t seem to mind as she continued scratching, so I decided to stay there for the moment. The moment that ended up turning into fifteen minutes.
“You’re not going to fall asleep on my lap, are you?” Molly joked.
“I don’t know, it hasn’t happened yet,” I joked back. “I just wanna stay like this,” I added, barely above a whisper.
“Seriously though, we should probably start thinking about undoing this whole thing,” she said.
What was it with these two today saying all the scary things? Halloween was supposed to be spooky, not actually scary. And I definitely didn’t want to think about that stuff yet.
“Not yet,” I simply repeated.
I was starting to become increasingly aware of a hole in my logic — even if I just kept delaying it, I was pretty sure that having more time wouldn’t help me deal with it having to end. And I didn’t want it to end. I knew it had to, I couldn’t just stay like this forever, but I just couldn’t let myself let it end. I didn’t want to go back to what I used to be before. I wanted to stay like this forever, stay in here, next to Molly, where I was actually comfortable for once.
“I want to stay like this forever,” I mumbled in a tiniest voice possible.
Molly’s hand stopped in its tracks.
Did she hear what I just said?
Then, I realized the implications of what I said, and shot up to the sitting position with full intention to run. I didn’t know where I intended to run to, I didn’t know what I’d do there, I didn’t think about any potential consequences of doing so if I succeeded, I was just a scared cat wanting to run.
But before I got time to stand up, Molly’s arms wrapped around me, keeping me in place.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t really think about how this whole thing could affect you until… well, until now. I didn’t think, I just went with the idea because it seemed fun.”
I just sank further into her embrace, still very confused.
“You’re feeling comfortable like this, aren’t you? Not just the cat parts, but everything else too?” She asked.
“M-maybe?” I lied, my tone betraying the true answer.
That was it, wasn’t it? The moment of truth. I had to admit, it was pretty scary.
“Shhh...” She squeezed me closer and put one hand on the back of my head. “It’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with that, just… Fuck, it was so obvious now that I think about it, I’m so stupid.”
“There’s no talking like this about anyone in this household, especially yourself,” Molly’s mom joined in on the conversation. “You were focussed on something else, it’s an understandable mistake.” She then put her hand on my shoulder and I turned my head to her. “Okay, I’m assuming you don’t know anything about the gender stuff?”
Gender? I mean, I knew that it was a thing that existed, and not really much else. I shook my head.
“I figured. I was trying to encourage you to ask in case you had any doubts, but that didn’t work,” she said.
“I… I didn’t know if it was okay to talk about something like this… I’ve never heard anyone talk about it before, and I was scared that it might have been a bad thing,” I finally spoke.
“I see… It’s absolutely okay to talk about it, and, for the future, it’s okay to ask me about anything, I promise.” She took a big breath. “For now, all you need to know is that it’s okay for you to stay like this for however long you want. I can handle explaining the whole situation to your parents. Would you want that?”
Still doubting it was an actual, real option, I shyly nodded.
“Okay, then it’s time for me to make the awkward phone call.” She started walking towards the kitchen.
“Um…” I started, loudly for her to hopefully hear me.
She turned back, “What is it, dear?”
I awkwardly looked down to the side. “Can… can staying like this involve the… cat parts?”
“Of course it can.” She smiled and continued her way to the kitchen.
“Hey,” Molly said to get my attention. “I’m so sorry for causing you so much stress.”
Was my anxiety and confusion really so visible?
“I-it’s okay,” I mumbled.
“So… How are you feeling?” She asked.
I considered it for a moment. “Relieved, but also… really embarrassed for some reason.”
“It’s okay,” she squeezed me closer again. “I’ve heard that this part gets better quickly if you let it.”
She then started to scratch behind my ear once more, and this time, knowing everything would be okay, I allowed myself to fully relax into it.
I vaguely knew that there were people out there with non-human parts before, but that evening, when I became one of those, I’ve been also informed about how it really worked. Apparently, there were a lot more people like that than I thought, most just had ways of transforming to a fully human form for the sake of practicality and safety, but there still were the ones that preferred to stay one way, and there were accessibility aids for them, made by people like them. Or like us, I supposed. I really had to get used to that part.
But outside of that, the rest of that day was really warm, and soft, and pleasant. I was apparently allowed to stay the night at Molly’s place, and she was taking full advantage of that. We talked a bit, and she threatened to take me shopping for ‘proper’ clothes, promising it would be better than it used to be. After she released me from the very long hug, it didn’t take long for me to end up in the same position as earlier.
I might have, or might have not, actually ended up falling asleep on her lap. I guess you’ll never know.
Also, Four of a Kind and Waking Up to Something New (I really need to change that title), while being on an unplanned hiatus, are not cancelled or abandoned, I still plan to finish them someday, I just don't know when I'll be able to.
That being said, I hope you enjoyed this story. Happy Halloween, and all the other days for that matter