A Werewolf In Under-Town

Cletus and Margret’s house was surprisingly huge. Although with their number of kids, maybe it shouldn’t have been that surprising. Shaggy tried to count the blue aliens several times. But they moved in and out of rooms at such a rapid pace, he couldn’t tell. The only sign that there was a bunch of them was the deviation in their heights… and Cletus’ screaming.

“I ain’t abiding no witch in my damn farm!”

Margret ignored her husband as a pack of her children shoved him into a room. Shaggy and his pack spread out through the foyer they had stepped into and looked around. Levy glanced at him, but Shaggy gave her a nod. She was the one in the best position to negotiate, so she could handle it.

She gave him a sour look as she turned to Margret. “Ma’am, we own a deli that’s-”

“I don’t want to hear it until we get to my sitting room, honey. That’s where we can talk business. You folks done staring at my wallpaper?”

She directed her last sentence at Shaggy and the others. Ephemara and Tom gave Shaggy significant looks, but he shook his head. They didn’t need to be sneaking through this woman’s house. They were here to do business and then head back home as fast as possible. Rita and Stanley were standing by the door and when the skinny kid went to move, Rita grabbed him.

“The kid and I will stay here, boss. We’ll watch the door.”

Stanley looked annoyed, but nodded along as Shaggy looked to Margret. The alien woman scowled, but eventually she shrugged her shoulders as if to say ‘whatever.’ Shaggy gave them the go ahead and followed Levy and Margret further into the house. Tom and Ephe on his heels.

They didn’t go far into the home’s hallway before Margret turned into another room. It was a large square room with a large bay window facing the front of the house. One long couch sat facing the window while two armchairs sat opposite. A large coffee table sat between the chairs, a steaming pot of coffee was on a silver tray next to some cookies and cups.

Margret waved from them to take the couch and Levy and Shaggy sat. Tom tried to sit too, but Ephemara grabbed him and dragged him behind the couch. The pair stood there like a pair of guards drawing Margret’s eyes. Eventually the alien rancher snorted and started pouring herself a glass of coffee. Levy and Shaggy waited silently as two more aliens walked into the room and stood behind their mother.

With their smooth skin and enormous eyes, Shaggy couldn’t place either of the alien’s ages. Margret noted Shaggy’s gaze and waved a hand up at the two aliens.

“These are my two eldest boys, Jacob and John-boy. Normally, they are supposed to be helping their father with the cattle. But today it looks like we are selling, right?”

Levy nodded back after a brief hello to the two boys. “Yes, ma’am. As I was saying, we own a deli and need a steady supply of meat. We’ve tried going through wholesalers, but this seemed more expedient.”

“And you won’t have to pay the middleman.” Margret snorted.

Levy simply shrugged her shoulders as Shaggy eyed the cookies. He wasn’t starving, but one should never turn down a plate of cookies. He was reaching for one when one of Margret’s sons spoke up.

“Ma, we shouldn’t do business with witches. Them magic folk are tricky.”

The other young alien slapped his brother as Margret turned in her seat. “John-boy, if you're going to spout your father’s nonsense, you can join him downstairs. Is that what you want?”

“No, Mama.”

“Then shut your damn mouth and pay attention.” She turned back to levy with a smile as Shaggy munched on a cookie. “I’m sorry about them. My boys are normally smarter than that. But their father’s influence stretches far.”

“I understand,” Levy smiled. “So, can we do business?”

“That depends on what kind of meat your deli is looking to sell.”

“We need that Drunelofu meat for sure.” Shaggy spoke around a mouthful of cookies.

Levy slapped his leg hard and apologized. “Excuse him. His nature gets the better of him sometimes.”

“Hmph! Husbands.” Margret smiled.

“Exactly. Although he is quite right. We need enough Drunelofu for a month and the best selection of meats you have on top of that.”

“Do you have the space for that?” Margret’s black eyebrow crawled up her forehead.

Levy smiled. “We’ll manage. We have a pack of werewolves to feed after all.”

Both of Margret’s boys flinched as their eyes bounced between Shaggy, Tom, and Ephemara. But their mother merely nodded, understanding. “So this will be a standing order.”

“Also, one we are making in bulk.” Levy added.

Margret nodded understandingly and seemed to fall into thought. Shaggy felt a pull on his mental link and felt hunger coming from over his shoulder. With a sigh, he reached down and grabbed another cookie. Without looking, he threw it back to where Ephemara was standing. A cheerful hum and a soft crunching sound filled the room as Margret shot him another dirty look.

“We mostly deal in Drunelofu here, but we have a few other animals. Moon-Chickens, Blade-Birds, Hell-Heifers, and a pair of phantom goats.”

Shaggy blinked as he tried to work out what each of those meats would taste like. He imagined a Hell-Heifer would be spicy for some reason. But Moon-Chickens and Blade-Birds confused him. Not to mention Phantom goats.

“I’m sorry, but what is a phantom goat?” Levy asked.

Margret snorted. “Right now, they are a pain in my ass. My husband bought them from some summoner type. But Cletus didn’t do his due diligence and bought them, anyway. It’s why he’s a little salty around magic folks right now.”

“Pa was tricked!” John-boy groused.

“John-boy! Your father has been a rancher since he was a boy. He should’ve known better. But instead he fell for a pleasant set of legs and a pair of tits! So now we are stuck with goats that eat, but produce nothing!”

Levy went silent as she thought, so Shaggy did his best to keep the conversation going. “What did the summoner say those goats were good for?”

Margret snapped her large eyes to him. “The normal goat products. Meat, milk, fur, and the like. But these goats produce none of that. They both have the silkiest fur and they look nice and plump, ready for the slaughter. But they don’t reproduce and anything we hit them with, just phases right through them.”

“They’re like a pair of ghosts.” Jacob said with a shiver.

Levy snapped to attention at the words. She tried to school her features and relax her posture. But Shaggy didn’t think Margret or her sons were buying it. She tried to put on a subtle smile, but Margret cut her off before she could say anything.

“If you have a way to help, we can talk about discounts after you’ve done it.”

Levy pouted and turned to Shaggy. But all he could do was shrug. “Hey, you’re the magic expert. I just hit shit when things get tough.”

“What kind of deli owner are you?” John-boy asked.

Shaggy merely smiled as he waved for his wife to explain. Levy smirked and waved a hand in the air. Purple magic swirled around her hand and Shaggy saw John-boy and Jacob tense up. Both boys reached behind their backs and Shaggy got ready to throw himself in front of Levy. But Levy’s magic quickly coalesced into the shape of a purple goat.

“Is this what the goats look like?”

Margret studied the image for a full ten seconds before she nodded slowly. “Yes, except the male one has horns. Which I expect is normal?”

Levy jumped to her feet and moved to grab Margret. John-boy and Jacob pulled slim-looking revolvers from behind their back and aimed at Levy. Shaggy was up and over between the guns and his wife before Margret had even cleared her chair. He heard the sound of a gun echo in his ears as he felt pressure in his lower stomach. Looking down, he saw the flattened metal bullet fall to the floor.

John-boy was shaking as his gun barrel smoked. Jacob was staring open-mouthed at Shaggy, who was completely fine. Well, except for the hole in his shirt. He growled under his breath; the sound making Jacob and John-boy tense up again. Behind him, he heard Levy quickly explaining things to Margret.

“Ah, I’m sorry, but I need to see the goats right now. It’s important.”

Margret blinked as she looked between Shaggy and Levy. Shaggy spun to present his injury-free stomach. The rancher scowled and muttered something about ‘Anti-Therianthrope ammo.’ Shaggy wanted to ask about that, but Margret wrenched her arm away from Levy and stood.

“I expect you to explain as we walk. John-boy, go join your father.”

“But mama-”

“Go John-boy!”

The lanky blue alien boy stomped off angrily. Margret turned to look at the rest of Shaggy’s pack. Tom and Ephemara had stepped around the couch and were eating cookies. Levy was rapidly nodding acceptance at Margret’s words. Shaggy, meanwhile, was trying really hard not to complain about his shirt as he calmed down Stanley and Rita through his link.

Margret hurried to the door to the sitting room too, Levy following closely. But she paused at the door.

“Thank you for not hurting my boys.”

Shaggy shrugged. “And piss my wife off? No, thank you.”

Margret grinned and looked to Levy. “At least he’s smarter than my husband.”

“He has his moments.”

“Hey, are we going to look at goats or pick on the werewolf?” Shaggy griped.

Levy and Margret laughed as they rushed out the door. Shaggy waved at his two pack mates as he walked toward the door. Behind him, Jacob was just getting himself under control. He was staring down at his gun and then back up at Shaggy. Noticing he was alone in a room with three werewolves, the boy rushed ahead of them and practically ran away.

Shaggy heard Ephemara chuckling through a mouthful of cookies as they walked out of the room and back to the front door. It wasn’t hard following the thudding footsteps of Jacob as they left the house and crossed the large yard. Levy and Margret were heading to a barn at the far end of the property, but Shaggy paused to give a nod to Stanley and Rita.

Both of his pack mates looked him over. Rita raised an eyebrow at the hole in his shirt and sighed loudly. She looked at Ephemara, who was wiping cookie crumbs off her chin. Sighing loudly, Rita merely shook her head as she joined them. Stanley fell in line behind them.

Shaggy took in the other buildings as they walked. Margret and Cletus had a fairly large ranch, all things told. Two barns, what Shaggy assumed was a stable, a couple of silos, and some chicken coops. He even spotted a fair few animals roving around the large yard beyond the stables. He even spotted what he thought was a Hell-Heifer. At least he hoped the on fire behemoth with two large black and red glowing horns was the Hell-Heifer. Otherwise, they were all in trouble.

They made it to the second barn in time to see Levy muttering a spell. Her eyes were rolling back in her head as a silvery-blue goat tried to get away from her. But a purple circle on the ground, covered in glyphs and runes, prevented the goat from getting far away. It batted its black horns against the air ineffectually as Margret grimaced nearby.

Shaggy walked over to the rancher. “So… What’s going on?”

Margret glanced at him and then at his pack. For the first time, Shaggy realized Jacob was standing back near the barn door. The boy hadn’t been there when they entered. But he didn’t have enough time to process why that would be before the goat started screaming. Everyone winced as the noise echoed through the large barn.

“Get ready!” Levy cried.

Shaggy blinked and asked again. “What’s going on?”

“Demon exorcism!” Levy shouted back.

“Shit!” Shaggy swore as the horned goat inflated to impossible proportions.

Its black horns expanded, and its ghostly skin solidified into a red mass that was curled into itself. Shaggy got between Margret and the demon as his pack spread themselves out. The creature unfurled itself in the air; the goat phasing back and away, out of Levy’s magic circle. Massive red legs ending in hoofs crashed into Levy’s circle, breaking through. Its massive red body expanded as massive black wings spread across the barn.

Levy cackled as she backed away behind Stanley and Ephemara. “Shaggy!”

“What?”

“I want to keep it, so don’t kill it!”

Shaggy nearly spat blood as he looked back to the twelve-foot tall, red-skinned demon. It stared down at them through its beady little black eyes. Fire seemed to dance just below its skin as it reared back and roared. The barn and ground shook as Shaggy and his pack faced off against the demon.

“Sure, babe. I’ll keep that in mind.” Shaggy said as he tore off his shirt and grew his claws.