A Scale of Sapphire

Erica

I awoke on the floor of a relatively intact house, yawning as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. There were certain memories that I could definitely live without, and my last thanksgiving was one of them. Why did I have to relive that now of all times?

Caleb and I broke up just a few months after that awful day. It had been building up for a while, to be perfectly honest. It’s not that we didn’t like each other, not even that we didn’t love each other, our lives just started to take us in different directions. Bit by bit, the effort of staying in touch, of keeping things going, just became too much to be worth it.

We broke it off amicably and remained as distant friends in each other’s lives from then on. I followed through on what I’d told my mother and never regretted it for a second. I was lucky enough not to have any major complications, and I was able to start going to work again in about a week.

I never did speak to my mom again. Honestly, I have no clue what I would’ve said. I kept up with my dad, and texted him pretty often, and he’d let me know if there was anything of real importance going on with mom.

There never was.

Situationally relevant nightmares can fuck right off. With a huff, I threw my pack over my shoulder and returned to my journey once more. At my current pace, odds were good I’d reach my old place by nightfall. Hopefully our resident wolf tamer would be open to a chat.

Evelyn(?)

“Evie.”

I growled.

“Five more minutes…”

“No, Evelyn. You need to wake up now. We’ll be reaching the centaurs soon.”

Before I could think to stop myself, I let out a hiss, angry and predatory. The sound of my own discontent snapped me to wakefulness with a start. I was being carried by Cass, she’d called me Evelyn, and her bandages seemed fresher than I remembered. From the look of things, my hiss had startled her just as much as I’d startled myself. She held me loosely, her eyes locked onto my own, her neck notably out of biting range.

“Sorry Cass…”

“It’s ok, Evie. I’m not much of a morning person either… not that it’s actually morning right now.”

She was calling me Evie again…

Memories of the last day were returning to me, but slowly. Was this because of the alias idea I mentioned? I figured it must have been, and resolved myself to go along with it. Not that it would be hard. I wanted to be Evelyn. I wanted to be Evelyn more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life. Getting to pretend for a bit would be nice, at least.

With graceful ease, I was deposited onto the ground and started walking , but before I could walk far, Cass called for us both to stop.

“We need to finish our conversation, Evelyn.”

Ah yes, our conversation, one that I definitely remembered in full.

“Uh… ok?”

“You’re sober now, right?”

I nodded.

“Then I want you to tell me something. Do you want to be a woman?”

“So you know about… that. How much did I tell you before I fell asleep?”

“I’ll ask the questions here, missy. Do you want to be a woman?”

“I mean, I can’t, I shouldn’t. I don’t want to ask you to play along with my-”

“Don’t you dare call it a fetish again.” She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I’m not asking if you think it’s right or wrong. I’m asking you what you want. Do you want to be a woman?”

“What I want doesn’t matter. It’s wrong! I shouldn’t be fetishizing womanhood like this! I’m a man, and there’s nothing I can do to change that!”

I wasn’t yelling at first, but I was yelling now. I just didn’t get how she didn’t hate me. She was strong and beautiful and kind and she was exactly the kind of woman I wished I could be! She should despise me! I was a freak who got off at the idea of being her!

“Are you fucking horny right now?!?”

“What?!?”

“I’ve been calling you Evelyn this whole time, you dumb vampire. Does that make you horny?”

“Well no, it’s not really that str-”

“What about if I call you pretty? What about if I call you beautiful? You don’t look all hot and bothered to me. Where’s the fetish? What about this is sexual? There’s nothing. It’s nothing. You are Evelyn, my beautiful, vampiric, maddeningly dense friend. If you want to be a woman, then congratu-fucking-lations, you are. Embrace it.”

“Cass…”

We were interrupted by the sound of hooves on concrete. It looks like the centaurs had found us. Before I had a chance to gather myself, they’d galloped out of the underbrush, several of them carrying humans on their backs, clattering to a stop when they noticed us. The lead centaur, a man with dark skin and even darker fur stepped forward to address us. He was huge. It’s hard to appreciate just how large horses can be until you’ve tried conversing with one. I was barely taller than his waist.

“Well this is unusual. We thought we heard yelling. You ladies wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

With a broad, cocky smile, Cass threw her arm over my shoulder. I couldn’t help it, I yelped. Please do not overstimulate the vampire, she bites.

…

I meant HE bites! The very manly male vampire bites when HE is startled.

“Sorry about that.” Cass said, heedless of my nerves. “Evie and I were settling a… disagreement. Isn’t that right, Evelyn?”

I shot her a glare. This wasn’t over.

“Yeah. It was- I said some stuff I didn’t mean earlier, and we both got kinda hung up on it.”

She met my furious red eyes with calm steel before turning towards the centaur once again.

“We were actually out here because we were looking for you. We’re trying to build something. A new home, one that welcomes all, regardless of species. If that sounds like something you’d like to try, you’re more than welcome to join us.”

“Regardless of species, you say? That's an... interesting specification. Let me talk to the others, and then we’ll decide.”

He turned towards the others, and together, they distanced themselves from us. My enhanced hearing could still pick up on their whispers, but out of courtesy, I did my best not to listen. Instead, I turned to glare once again at Cass. She met my eyes calmly, her expression giving nothing away.

“Just give it a try. Just try doing what you want for a little while. Let yourself be Evelyn, let yourself be a woman, and if, by the time we get back home, you still think this is just a fetish, I promise I’ll never bring it up again. Can you do that, at least?”

I didn’t answer. I simply narrowed my eyes, fire burning in their crimson depths.

This wasn’t over.