A Perverted Galaxy Far Far Away (Star Wars)

A/N: As of today, 7/6/2023, this is the final chapter currently posted publicly for this story. Because of how the schedule works, Chapter 61 will come out Tuesday the 18th and then after that it will be one chapter every two weeks going forward.

There will always be four advance chapters on my Patreon at all times for this and my other Patreon-Funded fics.

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Boba Fett is not an idiot. She recognizes that the Jedi is amused by her orders. But Boba has already made her decision. As much as she hates it, she’s working with the damn Jedi for now. Until she can figure out what the fuck is going on. Then and only then will she choose her next move, whatever that might turn out to be. But for now… for now she needed the Jedi as muscle. By herself, she was mince meat if Rook Kast caught sight of her. But with the Jedi by her side, they stood a much better chance of getting the answers Boba needed.
 
“Before we go after Kast, we should contact my back-up. I didn’t come here alone, you know.”
 
Boba blinks at that, before furrowing her brow.
 
“You didn’t? Just how many of you Jedi managed to infiltrate this base?”
 
Seriously, Boba knew from her mother that Death Watch was incompetent, and she’d experienced some of that organizational incompetence herself since being dropped off here, but even still… what was with their security?
 
Chuckling slightly, the Jedi shakes his head.
 
“None but myself. I was accompanied by two Mandalorians who helped me to make this infiltration possible in the first place. One of them, you’d likely recognize. Koska Reeves got us in… after Bo-Katan Kryze and I asked her for her help.”
 
Boba stiffens at the second name, glaring daggers. She didn’t want to hear that that traitor was here in this place… but then again, was Bo-Katan even a traitor if the Jedi really had nothing to do with her mother’s death and Boba’s kidnapping?
 
… Yes. Yes she was. She’d still sided with the Jedi in the Battle for Geonosis, ultimately resulting in her and her mother getting captured in the first place. That said… if the Sith really were behind everything, Boba knew she would have to do whatever it took to figure out who her true enemies were. Who had killed her mother? That, more than any other betrayal, was what mattered most of all.
 
Once Janga Fett’s death was avenged, then Boba could turn towards righting all of the other injustices done to her and hers by the galaxy.
 
“Fine. Call them up. But tell them to be careful. If they blow their cover… I’ll shoot them myself.”
 
To his credit, the Jedi doesn’t make any pithy comments as he slowly nods and brings a hand up to his helmet. Silence falls in the room as he no doubt exchanges clandestine conversation with Kryze and Reeves. Boba wants to demand that he open the comm channel and speak out loud, but she stops herself, feeling a little self-conscious. Would her mother have made that demand? Or was it a silly one, born of a childish need to know what was going on?
 
In the end, she didn’t need to know exactly what the Jedi was saying to his allies. It wasn’t like Boba trusted any of them as far as she could throw them anyways.
 
“… Alright, they’re ready to go. We’ve downloaded a map of the facility and know where Rook Kast’s quarters are located. Come on, we’ll meet them on the way.”
 
Boba nods sharply, preparing to follow the Jedi out of the room as he moves towards the door. She’s a little surprised that he doesn’t ask for his blaster back, but then he IS a Jedi so it makes sense that he wouldn’t be comfortable with a blaster, she supposed. In the end, SHE was plenty comfortable with one, and all too happy to finally have some firepower in this shithole.
 
Together, the two of them make their way deeper into the base, following along with a map he must have on his helmet’s HUD. Boba hates being reliant on anyone, but if it gets her closer to her mother’s true killer than so be it. She’ll do whatever she needs to in order to-
 
Before she can retread that particular mental path for the umpteenth time, they turn the corner and run smack dab into two other Mandalorians. Boba immediately brings up her blaster, which prompts the others to do the same… only for the Jedi to leap in between them both with his hands up and outstretched.
 
“Whoa! Hold on, these are our allies Boba. Koska this is Boba Fett.”
 
One of the two Mandalorians, the one who must not have been Kryze, relaxes a fraction of an inch at that and gives Boba a nod. Boba, for her part, just scowls. She wished she had her own helmet, to hide her reactions, but it wasn’t to be. And fuck it, they might as well see what she really thinks of them all anyways.
 
The newcomers have clearly changed their colors before joining Death Watch, because the Mandalorian who must be Bo-Katan looks completely different in style, even as she moves forward and kneels down in front of Boba.
 
“Boba… I’m so glad we were able to find you. I’ve been looking for you ever since you went missing and I-!”
 
“Save it, traitor. I don’t want to hear it.”
 
Kryze reels back as if slapped, and Boba can already tell she’s not going to listen. She prepares herself to stone wall the bitch until they can finally get back on mission, but before Bo-Katan can say another word, a voice pipes up from behind Boba, down the hall.
 
“… And what do I find going on here.”
 

Boba’s shoulders tense and she immediately moves her pilfered blaster between her body and the familiar voice of Ursa Wren coming from behind her. She does not turn around, even as Koska Reeves curses and goes for her blaster, only to freeze at the last second and slowly raise her hands. Meanwhile, at Boba’s side, the Jedi has done the same and is stepping back into her field of view.
 
“I should have known it was some sort of gambit. What’s the game here, huh? I took your Nite Owls from you one by one, Reeves. Managed to convince them all where the real credits were to be made. So now… what? You’re going to try and steal my foundlings? Going to put egg all over my face and make me look like a damn fool who’s led around by her cunt?”
 
Ugh, that was so much more than Boba needed to hear. Wrinkling her nose at the thought of the Jedi seducing Wren in order to complete his mission objectives, the young Mandalorian makes a call right then and there. If the Jedi doesn’t feel confident enough in his Force Abilities to save them here and now, or maybe just doesn’t want to reveal himself… then fine, Boba would handle it.
 
“Girl. Walk back towards me now. Away from the traitorous scum. I’ll put you back with the others once I’m done with them.”
 
Stepping back, Boba makes a show of following Wren’s instructions, even as she stares into Bo-Katan’s visor, the other Mandalorian still kneeling there looking at her. At the same time… she adjusts the settings on the blaster in her hands.
 
A gloved hand suddenly falls on her shoulder and Ursa begins to speak, her voice filled with a certain degree of gloating as she yanks Boba back behind her.
 
“Can’t say I’m not going to enjoy this, Reeves. Though I am sad to have to put down your boytoy as well. He was a good little whor-!”
 
ZAAAAAAAAP!
 
Ursa Wren doesn’t even look at her. Which is ultimately her downfall, because it allows Boba to shove the blaster up under the Mandalorian woman’s beskar chestplate, right in the undersuit… and discharge half a dozen stun bolts into Wren in rapid succession.
 
The older Mandalorian gets off a single blaster shot as she goes down, one that hits nothing but the wall, even as she spasms and shakes. Boba is quick to pull her blaster from her flexing grasp before Ursa can get any more shots off. She hums as she looks over Wren’s blaster… and finally nods, holding a blaster in both hands now as she looks at the two Mandalorian women and the Jedi standing down the hallway a bit.
 
Just like her mama now, she thinks to herself in the privacy of her own skull. Out loud, she merely tilts her head to the side and scoffs at their shocked posture.
 
“What? It wasn’t like you lot were doing anything to stop her.”
 
That breaks them of their stupor, with the Jedi moving forward. For a moment Boba scowls, thinking he’s going to try and get his blaster back from her now, but when she shies away and moves to the side, he just goes right past her, checking Ursa Wren over. In the end, he gives her a surprisingly grateful nod.
 
“I’m glad you didn’t kill her. She wasn’t… she isn’t all bad. Death Watch doesn’t have its claws nearly as deep in her as it thinks.”
 
Boba just blinks at that before scoffing and shaking her head.
 
“I didn’t stun her because I wanted her to live. I stunned her because Mandalorian bodysuits are relatively resistant to blaster fire as well. Even if I’d shot her at full power right in the gut, she might not have gone down fast enough to avoid us all getting shot right back.”
 
Giving the Jedi a disdainful look, Boba huffs.
 
“Honestly Jedi… do you know anything?”
 
There’s a moment’s pause… and then the Jedi laughs. And Boba growls, her ears heating up because she knows he’s laughing at her. Fortunately for him, he doesn’t laugh long enough for her to reconsider their temporary alliance and shoot him. In the end, they’re able to get back on track relatively quickly… after disarming Ursa Wren, tying her up, and sticking her in a nearby Utility Closet anyways.
 
With that taken care of and the Jedi properly reunited with his allies, the four of them are finally able to head deeper into the complex, until they reach their ultimate destination at long last… the quarters of one Rook Kast.
 
As they stop outside of the door, Reeves leans over to the Jedi, speaking quietly but not so quietly that Boba can’t hear her.
 
“Are you sure she’s even still in there? I know you said she’s locked herself up in her rooms… but she might have pulled a runner.”
 
Boba frowns at the thought, hoping it’s not the case. But Bo-Katan just shakes her head in response.
 
“Kast wouldn’t do that. She’s loyal… or at least, she was loyal to Janga. I don’t know why she came back here, other than that with Janga’s death she needed a new cause. Even still, for her to choose Death Watch…”
 
The uncertainty in Kryze’s voice almost makes Boba snort derisively. She’d started out so strong saying how ‘Rook Kast wouldn’t do that’. And then she’d talked herself around into disparaging the other woman. In the end… in the end, Boba doesn’t care. She wants answers and it’s obvious at this point that she’s the only one who’s actually willing to go and get them.
 
“If you’re not going to do anything, just move aside.”
 
Unfortunately, the adults she finds herself surrounded with don’t seem to think that’s a good idea. They block her off from the door panel.
 
“Probably best not to spook her too soon, Boba. Just… stay out of view of the door cam and give us a second, yeah?”
 
Grumbling, Boba does as she’s told… for now. She watches with narrowed eyes as the Jedi is the first to step up, pressing a button on the door panel and speaking into the comms unit there.
 
“Rook Kast? Ma’am, Ursa Wren sent me to speak with you. Is there anything I can do for you?”
 
There’s a pause after that, with the Jedi tilting his helmeted head to the side before finally looking at them.
 
“She’s in there. She’s just… choosing not to respond.”
 
Boba scowls at that, ready to step forward into view of the camera, but before she can, Bo-Katan leans forward and speaks into the panel instead.
 
“Rook. It’s Bo-Katan. Just joined up with Death Watch a couple weeks ago and found out you were actually in charge of this base today. Wren is being a pain in the ass so I thought you and I might be able to catch up.”
 
There’s another brief pause… and then Kast’s voice comes over the comm, crackly and low-quality as it is.
 
“Kryze? The fuck are you doing here?”
 
The Mandalorian woman in question chuckles self-deprecatingly at that.
 
“Turns out the Jedi don’t pay as well as I’d hoped. At a certain point, they start to think you’ve been around long enough that you WANT to work for them for free or something. Let’s just say I saw the light and got out while I still could. Death Watch is where I belong, in the end.”
 
Boba blinks. She has to admit… the older Mandalorian is a good liar. She even KNOWS that Bo-Katan is lying, and yet she hadn’t heard a single ounce of deception in her modulated voice. There’s a long pause on Kast’s end, before the other Mandalorian finally speaks up again.
 
“Wren is my second in command. Meaning she has my complete confidence. Sort your shit out with her, I’m not going to baby the two of you or play mediator. Don’t try and come to my quarters again.”
 
With that, the comm clicks off and Boba has to hold back a groan as the others all look at each other. Seriously? Even though she’d bought Bo-Katan’s lies hook, line, and sinker… she still wasn’t actually biting. Did Boba really have to do everything herself? Well, fuck it. If she did, then she did. So be it.
 
Stepping forward while the adults waffle about what to do next, Boba slips under Bo-Katan before the other woman can realize she’s there and slams the butt of one of her pilfered blasters into the door panel.
 
“Rook Kast. Open up.”
 
As she speaks, she looks up into the door’s camera, one that she’s now standing in full view of, her face on complete display. She glares at it defiantly, blasters held at the ready, fully willing to blow her way into the other woman’s quarters if that’s what it took.
 
“… Boba? Little Boba?”
 
Scoffing, Boba ignores the insult for the time being and keeps on glaring.
 
“Yes. You and I need to have a talk about just who killed my mother.”
 
There’s a brief pause at that, before Rook speaks.
 
“The Jedi killed Janga, Boba.”
 
However… she doesn’t sound confident. And in that moment, Boba already knows the truth. In that moment, she knows for a fact that the Jedi didn’t kill her mother.
 
“No they didn’t. The Sith did. And you’re going to help us track them down.”
 
There’s another moment of stillness… and then the door to Rook Kast’s quarters slides open, admitting them all inside.
 
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The Patreon Vote:

[  ] Stick to Boba's POV - 19%
[  ] Switch back to Tylo's POV - 35%
[X] Switch to Rook Kast's POV?! - 46%