A Love Written In The Stars

How do I even begin, when I was about to cry, standing there like a clown, literally and figuratively, with no way to fix it.

———

The queen dowager stood pensively by her window, gazing out at the cloudy sky. She acknowledged the eunuch with a nod. " I fear heavier troubles weigh upon my mind today," she said quietly.

The eunuch listened attentively, sensing the somber atmosphere. He approached the Queen dowager and asked gently, "What troubles you, my lady? Is there any way this humble servant may ease your cares, even for a moment?"

She continued looking into the distance as she spoke. "The kingdom faces threats both seen and hidden. My son manages the court well but carries grave concerns and poor cheng..." Her voice trailed off in a weary sigh.

The eunuch waited respectfully for her to continue at her own pace. Although stories of a poisoned emperor and deceitful ministers was on every lip in the palace, the Queen Dowager understood more than others. She saw the delicate ties holding their future together.

"May I suggest summoning the royal clown? You haven't had a joyful moment for a while, and the palace could use some entertainment."

"If that is what is needed to bring some color to this place, then go ahead," she replied, but did not turn from her view.

The eunuch bowed and quickly sent a messenger to get the royal clown but news came of the clown gravely ill.

The queen dowager frowned at this distressing news. "The clown has taken ill? Send for the court physician at once. In the meantime, find someone capable of lifting my spirit."

Yunhe Town

Mei hurried alongside Yú Jin, who was nearly half-jogging beside her, laden with bundles meant for the teahouse.

"Can you move a bit faster?" Yú Jin huffed, shooting Mei an exasperated look. "I'm running late, and Madam Hua will have my head if I'm late again."

Mei laughed, dodging a merchant's cart that rattled by. "You're always running late, Yú Jin. Maybe it's time to get yourself a rooster to wake you up early."

"Maybe if I could afford a rooster," Yú Jin retorted with a grin. "Or a friend who could actually hurry."

They approached a crowded junction when a commanding voice boomed above the chatter. The town crier sat on a horse, clearing his throat before addressing the crowd.

"An opportunity from the palace!" he declared, his voice reaching every corner of the square. "By order of the queen dowager, a substitute entertainer is needed at the palace immediately. The royal clown has fallen ill."

Mei slowed, looking at the crier with sudden interest. A job in the palace?

"Mei!" Yu Jin's voice cut through her thoughts as she turned to see her friend waving impatiently. "Honestly, Mei, I'm going to get an earful because of you. You know how much Madam Hua hates latecomers!"

"Yú Jin....." Mei began, glancing back toward the crier.

"I know that look on your face, but don't even think about it—we're already behind!"

"But…

"No buts Mei!" Yu Jin tugged at her arm. "no time to linger! Whatever it is can wait till after you've helped me carry these things!"

"I... I have to check something," Mei said, a spark of excitement in her voice as she looked at Yu Jin. "I won't be long."

Yu Jin groaned, shifting the bundles in her arms. "And who's going to carry all this to the teahouse ehn?" Her face fell as she glanced at the small sacks of herbs and packages stacked in her arms. "Do you expect me to haul it all alone?"

Before Mei could reply, a stranger passed by—a man about their age carrying an empty basket.

She quickly approached him. "Excuse me, sir! My friend here is in a hurry, and she's carrying quite a load. Would you be able to help her?"

The man glanced between them and smiled, taking the larger of the sacks from Yu Jin. "Of course, happy to help."

Yu Jin raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed but all the same grateful. "Fine, Mei. You owe me for this one!"

"I'll make it up to you, I promise!" Mei shouted, grinning as she dashed toward the town crier. "Thank you, Yu Jin!"

She reached the crier just as he was rolling up his scroll.

"Wait!" she called out breathlessly. "About the palace job… where can one apply?"

The crier looked her over, nodding as if sizing her up. "You're interested, then?"

To be summoned by the queen dowager herself would mean much money and before she knew it, her mouth was moving. "I can perform acrobatics and juggling. Please, allow me to entertain her majesty in the clown's stead."

The guard considered her petite frame dubiously. "Very well, join the other volunteers."

Mei's heart pounded with excitement as she walked behind the others towards the imperial palace.

Mei's pov:

I stood in the grand reception hall, feeling so small among the whirl of talents before me.

A plump eunuch overseeing the audition proclaimed, "Her Majesty seeks amusement in this dreary hour. Impress us with your talents and you may lighten her spirits!"

I took a deep breath as the resonance of the eunuch's voice drifted in and out of focus, his words mingling with the anxious energy that clung to the air. The grand reception hall felt suffocating despite its size, and the presence of the other performers did little to calm my nerves, a juggler deftly spinning clubs, a singer letting her voice soar, a mime frozen in mid-gesture— each more skilled than the last, made me question why I was here. I didn't belong here.

I got restless, scrambling for any semblance of confidence. I had no real experience with acrobatics, I swallowed hard. What could I offer? How was I to compete? I hadn't trained like they had, but I had watched enough performers in the marketplace to mimic their movements – at least, I thought I could. It's just for a few moments, I told myself. Just enough to make her laugh, maybe even smile. I had something else—a desperation that made me bold, reckless even. I had to succeed. That's all that matters. The queen dowager, I had heard, hadn't smiled in months. If I could make her laugh, maybe—just maybe—I could earn the royal favor...and the coin that would change everything.

Each time the eunuch called in the next performer, my heart skipped a beat. The acts were more extravagant than the last, each performer throwing themselves into their craft. The juggler's hands were a blur of motion, but not even that could break the dowager's cold stare. The magician's elaborate tricks, the birds that appeared from nowhere, the assistant being "sawn in half" — nothing moved her.

My palms were slick with sweat by the time it was my turn. I could feel the eyes of the others on my back as I stepped forward, my heartbeat drumming louder in my ears than the soft tap of my shoes on the polished floor.

I bowed low, my heart in my throat. "This lowly performer hopes to lighten your burden, even for a moment, Your Highness." "Please" I thought, though I didn't say it aloud.

As I straightened, my eyes fell on a familiar figure at the dowager's side.

Cheng.

My heart nearly stopped. Cheng, here?

I blinked,  trying to make sense of what I was seeing. Was that really Cheng, sitting there beside the queen dowager, dressed in such fine, extravagant robes? My heart thudded loudly in my chest, It couldn't be.

But it was him.

There was no mistaking the sharpness of his features, the way his eyes bore into mine, as if seeing straight into my soul. A knot slowly formed in my stomach. What was he doing here?

I had known him as a wanderer, a man who navigated through the same streets and markets I did. A man who fought alongside me against bandits, who ate with me in the busy corners of the city. But this—this was something entirely different. His robes shore under the soft glow of the palace lights, embroidered in gold and deep blues, far too rich for a commoner. He sat so comfortably at the queen dowager's side, like he belonged there, as if he had always belonged there.

Was he... royalty? My mind spun, trying to piece it together. A prince?

A PRINCE!

The thought sent a jolt through me. A prince? Cheng, a prince? I couldn't wrap my head around it. How could I have not known? How could I have spent so much time with him, shared moments of such rawness, and never once suspected? And yet, seeing him now, draped in all the finery and power of the court, it made an unsettling kind of sense.

My hands clenched the fabric of my costume as I willed myself to stay still, my thoughts running wild. Had he been toying with me? No—Cheng wasn't like that. But then why was he here? Why hadn't he ever mentioned anything about the palace, about his true identity?

My gaze darted back to him, trying to find a clue in the way he held himself, in the way he looked at me now. There was something in his expression, something almost readable. Did he recognize me? Did he know it was me behind this painted face, beneath these bright, ridiculous clothes?

What if he did? What did that mean for me?

If Cheng was a prince—if he was truly tied to the royal family—then everything between us, every small interaction, every shared moment, took on a new Height. Our lives had collided in such unexpected ways before, but now...now it felt as though the ground had shifted beneath me. I hadn't imagined this.

What was going to happen now?

His eyes met mine, and I froze. Panic fluttered in my chest as I fumbled with the patchwork fabric, my fingers trembling.

No. Focus, Mei. This was my only chance.

I forced a deep breath into my lungs and twirled back in front of the audience. The queen dowager's cold expression seemed to pierce through me as I bent into the first clumsy somersault.

I felt the floor rushing up at me before I even realized what was happening. My foot caught on the edge of my costume, and in one clumsy, ridiculous motion, I tumbled forward, sprawling out in front of the entire court.

I could feel the heat rise to my face as I hit the floor, the sound of my feet hitting the polished floor echoing through the hall. For a second, the room felt frozen, a gasp from the audience was the only thing I could register. No. No, no, no. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Silence.

That was all there was.

I laid there, face burning and shame boiling inside me. My heartbeat increased as the silence stretched out, thick and suffocating. I scrambled to my feet, my knees trembling beneath me, trying to pretend like this was part of the act.

But it wasn't. I had made a complete fool of myself.

I could feel a tear prick at the corner of my eye, hot and unwelcome. Not now. Not here. I blinked rapidly, willing it to disappear, to shove it back down where it belonged. Crying in front of the entire royal palace? That would be the final humiliation. I couldn't afford that, not now.

"Just walk away"

"Forget it" "You don't need this" those were the only thoughts going through my mind.

"You're fine" "just keep going" I begged myself, but the lump in my throat swelled. I wasn't just embarrassed—I was devastated.

I hadn't done what I came here for. I hadn't made her laugh. But maybe it didn't matter. Even the most experienced performers hadn't managed to pull so much as a smile from her lips. How could I, with my clumsy, unpracticed routine? What was I thinking? I'm not even a real performer.

Let's face it, no one could make her smile, much less laugh.

A voice inside me screamed for me to bow out gracefully and walk away with whatever scrap of dignity I had left before I embarrassed myself any further. "Leave now and maybe they'll forget you were even here."

But how do I even begin, when I was about to cry, standing there like a clown, literally and figuratively, with no way to fix it.

Just as I was about to crumble from it all, I heard it.

A sound so light I almost thought I imagined it. A single, soft laugh. It cut through the silence like a crack in the stony walls of the palace.

My head snapped toward the queen dowager in disbelief.

She was laughing. Her lips, always pressed so tightly, had parted in a smile. The queen dowager was.... laughing.

For a second, I was stunned. Am I dreaming? Did I hit my head when I fell?

I couldn't believe it. I thought I must have misheard, that the ringing in my ears was playing tricks on me. But no – it was real. She was laughing, and not just a polite chuckle. A genuine, light laugh.

I stood there, staring at her as if she were some apparition. My mind couldn't catch up with what was happening. Had I—had I done that? Really?

She...she was laughing at me.

She Was LAUGHING At Me.

The laughter didn't stop there. It spread, first to the courtiers around her, then to the rest of the room. A ripple of amusement that filled the space, warm and buoyant.

I did it.

I don't know how, but I made her laugh. The queen dowager, the one no one could please.

Suddenly, the tears didn't feel like humiliation anymore. They felt like relief. Maybe even triumph.

Maybe I wasn't such a fool after all.

Without thinking, I moved again, my body taking over where my mind had stopped. I windmilled my arms, exaggerating my clumsiness, and the laughter grew. The Queen Dowager's eyes gleamed with amusement, and the tight knot in my chest began to loosen.

I couldn't stop now. The laughter felt like a lifeline, pulling me up from the depths of humiliation. If only I could hold onto this moment, to hear that sound again.

As I continued to stumble through my routine, I risked another glance at Cheng. His eyes remained fixed on me.

Cheng's pov:

I tried to keep my expression neutral, but inside, I was no less astonished than Mei. I had recognized her the moment she stepped into the room, despite the bright, ridiculous costume and the mask of paint on her face. Those eyes. I could never forget them. No disguise could ever mask the fire in them, She spotted me, too, and I saw the flicker of shock in her expression.

I knew this moment would come eventually, but not like this. Not here, not in front of everyone.

I could almost feel her disbelief cutting through the distance between us. Her eyes were searching mine, trying to make sense of what she was seeing—me, sitting here, dressed in royal finery, not as the commoner she thought she knew, but as a man of power.

What's going through her mind?

Did she feel betrayed? Of course she did. I could see it in her eyes.

I had wanted to tell her the truth, to explain who I really was, but every time I tried, I hesitated. I wanted—no, needed—her to still be free with me, even if just for a little while longer.

I knew, deep down, that the moment she learned of my identity, things would change. She'd stop being so open, so carefree around me. Her laughter, her playfulness, they'd be tempered, replaced with formality and distance. And I couldn't bear that. Around Mei, I felt like a person, not a prince bound by duty and expectation. She treated me like anyone else, and that's what I craved more than anything.

I never imagined she would find out like this.

But now she knew. And I had no idea what would happen next.

As she stumbled through her performance, tripping and flailing in a way that only Mei could pull off, against all odds, she made the queen dowager laugh. Mei, the same girl who had brought laughter into my life, time and time again, had done the impossible here, too. She was extraordinary. She always had been.

I waited patiently, trying to calm my mind as the performance came to an end. I knew I would have to speak with her. I had to explain. She deserved to know why I had hidden the truth, why I hadn't told her who I really was. But more than that, I didn't want her to pull away from me. I didn't want the knowledge of my station to create distance between us.

I needed her to understand that I was still the same Cheng she had known. Nothing about who I was, my title, my position, could change the way I felt when I was with her. And I prayed that when we spoke, she would understand that nothing had changed between us. I was still the same man she had laughed with, fought beside, shared moments of simplicity with. But would she see me the same way?

The thought of her distancing herself, treating me with the same formality as everyone else, made my chest tighten. No. I wanted her to know that, despite everything, I was still her Cheng.

And somehow, I had to find the words to say it.

The queen dowager smiled gently at Mei. "You have done well today, child. This gloomy place was in need of mirth, and your antics have lightened the atmosphere most delightfully."

"Even stern Crown Prince Cheng seemed quite taken with your talents. It is no small feat to draw laughter from such a one as he."

Mei's pov:

Crown Prince? Really?

The words repeated in my mind as I curtsied before the Queen Dowager. Cheng wasn't just a prince but the crown prince.

"I aim only to spread what cheer I may, Your Highness," I replied, trying to keep my voice even. My mind was spinning, thoughts tangled, but I forced a smile, keeping my head bowed low.

"You are dismissed, little clown," the queen dowager said, her tone bored again, as though my presence no longer amused her.

I bowed once more before hurrying out of the royal chambers. As soon as the heavy doors swung shut behind me, I let out a long, trembling sigh of relief. My whole body felt like it had been wound too tight, ready to snap.

Crown Prince.The title still felt foreign, out of place in connection with Cheng.

I shook my head, trying to shove the thought aside as I made my way down the corridor. I had to get out of here.

The moment I started down the hall, I heard it, the unmistakable sound of quick, deliberate footsteps echoing off the polished stone floor. My heart leapt into my throat. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

Cheng.

I bit my lip, he's coming after me, of course he would come after me. I couldn't face him now. Not with this whirlwind of emotions and questions spinning through my mind, also I was mad with rage. Why hadn't he told me? How could he have hidden this from me, from the start?

Glancing down the hallway for any possible escape route, I spotted a marble pillar just ahead and darted behind it, pressing my back against the cool stone, willing myself to be invisible, to blend into the dark. The footsteps grew louder, closer.

I held my breath.

Cheng stepped into view, his eyes scanning the corridor, searching. His usual calm expression remained, but there was an edge to the way he moved, he was looking for me. For the bright, patchwork costume that I had so quickly discarded in my rush to escape.

I held my breath as I heard the footsteps draw closer, listening as he stopped just on the other side of the pillar. I could practically feel him.

Please, don't see me. Please, don't find me.

I watched him from my hiding spot, what would he even say if he found me? what could he possibly do to make this right? I had no idea what I would say to him if he caught me, if I could even look him in the eye after this revelation.

Seconds stretched into what felt like hours, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep my heartbeat from giving me away. I risked another glance and saw Cheng, his brow knitted, looked around once more before turning back the way he came.

I let out a shaky breath, feeling relief wash over me as the tension eased from my shoulders.

That was close. Too close.

Once I was sure the coast was clear, I slipped from my hiding spot, my steps light and quick. I didn't dare linger, not with the knowledge that he could come looking for me again at any moment. For now, I was free.

A smile formed on my lips as I hurried down the hall, my heart finally starting to settle. Despite the whirlwind of confusion and emotions inside me, there was something exciting about it all—outmaneuvering the crown prince, slipping away before he could catch me. It was almost like a game, one I wasn't ready to stop playing.

As Mei rounded a corner, she collided with a hard surface and stumbled back with a squeak. Strong hands gently grasped her elbows as apologies spilled out from both sides.

"Forgive me, I did not mean to startle you .... Meiying?

He stared at her with confusion written on his face.

Mei's breath caught recognizing her helper, Prince Yizong, she gave an ackward smile.

He chuckled. "I feel like I shouldn't ask but my curious mind needs answers. Why do you have your face painted as a clown... In the palace?"

Mei explained all to yizong, omitting no comedic detail. By the end even the dignified prince was laughing hard. "Ah, your adventures never cease do they, Meiying? The palace is brighter with your presence, I think."

Mei grinned back, as the unlikely pair walked on together, chatting lightly under the shaded trees, while Cheng watched them from behind the trees, hidden from view.

Cheng's pov:

I watched them, my feet rooted to the ground like some invisible force held me in place. Mei and Yizong, walking together, their laughter carried by the wind. The way their bodies moved, close but not touching, yet somehow in sync, it was like they had been connected forever.

Earlier, when I searched for Mei. I caught a glimpse of her behind a wall. I had wanted to approach her then but i stopped, unsure of what to say, of how to begin.

Mei was avoiding me. I knew that even before i found her hiding, she had gone through all the trouble of squeezing behind a wall, of putting distance between us. And though it hurt, i understood why. She needed time, space to sort out her thoughts, to clear her head before she would even consider listening to me.

But now, watching her with Yizong, I felt something in my chest... something unexpected and unfamiliar. I couldn't quite place it.

Yizong did something that caught me off guard. He reached over, brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering for just a moment longer than they should have. She smiled. She didn't flinch. She didn't even notice how close he was, how natural his gesture seemed. That small, insignificant act cut deeper than I wanted to admit.

Had they known each other long? Or was this their first meeting?

I shook my head, trying to snap out of it, to push the thought away.

It was ridiculous, wasn't it? There were bigger issues at hand, more important things to focus on than my bizarre fixation on Mei and Yizong's casual familiarity. Yet, even as i walked away, leaving them to their laughter, the images dwelled in his mind.

Mei and Yizong stood along a small garden, conversing in the dappled shade. From an overlooking balcony, Xiao watched Mei and Yizong, their playful conversation rising through the foliage. A frown touched her delicate features as she took in their easy camaraderie.

It had always been like this— Mei effortlessly drawing people under her spell. Even Yizong, who Xiao showed romantic interest in appeared captivated by Mei's radiance. Always the favored sibling, stealing affection wherever she went.

She noticed the casual way he smiled at Mei's jokes, leaning in and touching her arm. It sparked a flare of jealousy—had she not tried for Yizong's affections too?

And yet, despite all her charm, she hadn't succeeded the way Mei had so easily.

Xiao wrinkled her delicate nose, watching the pair converse in their own private world. Did he simply not see her as a woman? Or was it that no other woman could compare to his shining ideal of Mei?

Deep down, she knew Mei was not really the problem, they had been friends since childhood.

No, the true source of Xiao's jealousy was Yizong himself. The way he smiled so freely at Mei's jests. She found herself wondering what it might be like if he spoke to her in that manner, with careless affection instead of guarded politeness.

If his eyes would shine and crinkle at the corners when she made some witticism, instead of roving distractedly as though searching for an escape.

Why did it come so naturally for them, when she had to scheme and plot for even a moment's attention from Yizong? It wasn't fair that Mei should have his friendship and esteem so easily, while she had to perform like a trained pet just to keep him engaged.

All she wanted was for Yizong to look at her the way he did Mei—as an equal, a partner, a friend. Was that really so much to ask?

Still burning with envy, xiao strolled over with a polite smile.

"Mei, I'm so happy to see you again."

"I shall take my leave now so you two can have your privacy" prince yizong said warmly then walked away.

Once he was out of earshot, Xiao turned to Mei with a grim smile. "Please walk with me mei."

"Mei, it feels an age since we last spoke. How have you fared since then?"

"Well enough and you, xiao? How do you find your life in the royal palace?"

Xiao replied with a brittle smile. "Oh, well as can be."

Xiao walked beside Mei, offering a polite smile while darker thoughts took roots within. Her father's words played over in her mind—Get close to Mei. Learn valuable information from her and report back to me.

If Mei were gone and his engagement to Princess Xin Yi fell apart, maybe Yizong would finally notice her. Perhaps his eyes would open at last. Without their shadows dimming her light, he'd see her devotion clearly. She loved Mei, of course, but her love for Yizong was greater.

A storm brewed within her—her father's demands or her own desires? Obedience was easy, but the cost...

Xiao's smile faltered, and Mei noticed, gently touching her arm with concern.

"Are you well?"

Xiao nodded hastily. "Merely tired. These days test us all. Yet walking with you lightens my spirit, mei"

Their eyes met, and for a moment, Xiao saw the betrayal in her heart. Hurting Mei would bring nothing good, and their bond was more important than one man's brief attention. For now, she would work on healing old wounds, not creating new ones.

Xiao paused, then turned to Mei. "Mei, where have you been residing lately?"

"At a friend's" Mei replied cautiously.

"Nonsense. You must stay with family." Xiao took her arm. "I have space aplenty. Let me lend you a room, it would ease my mind to have you near."

Mei hesitated. "I wouldn't wish to impose -"

"Impose? We are sisters." Xiao squeezed her arm. "Please, I insist. You can spend a few days then leave if you still find it uncomfortable"

Seeing no easy refusal, Mei nodded slowly. "Very well. But a few days only."

Xiao beamed, hugging Mei warmly. "Wonderful!"