A life with the Author

[Yuito's POV]

"Tsukimi!!!" I yelled out when I did not find her in the living room or the kitchen.

"Tsukimi!" I called her name again, my voice echoed through the suite. Maybe it was a bad idea to stay in such a big room, if not I would have held her in my arms by now.

I was feeling myriads of emotions and there were two voices constantly clashing with each other in my mind even though the author was silent. But my feelings and my desires could be summarised in three words.

I want her.

...

It was difficult to not love or want someone who was so obsessed and in love with you. It was difficult to not reciprocate the kind of love Tsukimi had.

And even if I should not do that, at least for now, I wanted to tell her that its okay. I wanted to stop her from the misery she was putting herself through. It was quite enough.

It made me wonder how all those couples could curse each other after breaking up. How could you wish ill to your ex even if they were the ones who hurt you? They usually wanted nothing but to get back at them in some way, a revenge.

How could love be bitter so quickly?

I think true love, at least the love I once had for Tsukimi was different from that. I did not and I never wanted to see her in pain, even if she hurt me.

It was why I could not force myself to leave her in the hotel and walked home with her even after all that happened.

Because at one point in my life, she was everything to me. And that kind of love does not vanish overnight.

So it was never my intention or even my slightest desire to see her torture herself as she had done through all these years.

I moved on from that tragic night, and I left all of my sadness in that moment of time, in the past.

But she stayed and she still do.

So I needed to see her.

At last, I found her room and it was locked. I could not care less at the moment so I broke the door lock and barged in.

"Eh?" She looked up from the bed. She was sitting in her bed with earphones in her ears. That was the reason why she did not respond to my call.

"Yuito?" She spoke in a flustered tone. She had undressed and she wore only a thin dress that was black and half see-through.

I closed the door behind me and she stood up. Her eyes were confused and flustered as a small blush decorated her cheeks.

I stood there, in silence. There were too many words in the world, too many things the heart wanted to say, too many thoughts the mind wanted to convey. They were all clogged up somewhere as I just stared at her. Her beauty was not really helping either.

What should I say? Do I say I forgive her even though she never apologized? Do I say I still love her even though that was no longer as truthful as it once was?

Or should I say sorry?

Because I was.

After reading everything and seeing things from another perspective, I realized I had not been fair to her.

She had been looking at me like a role model and almost like her guardian from the moment we met. With the parents that she had and the situation she was in, I was the only one she had and unlike me, she was only just a child.

Everything she was, it was because of me. So I had responsibility.

And even though I knew what her story would be and how she was going to be blackmailed, I did not stop it and turned it into some kind of test. What kind of lover does that? To just watch while another man is committing a crime against your girl.

What else did I expect? I left her to her cruel fate.

Meanwhile, I saved Chizuru and Saki from thier fate did I not? They were all hentai heroines who were at one point taken advantage of and manipulated by evil men. I saved Chizuru from ever getting blackmailed and tortured the teacher, right?

And Saki, I saved her from her fate and because of her, I basically killed a man who never done her wrong. I killed him just because of what he would've done to her.

I did all that to strangers. Yet I left Tsukimi, the one who considered me to be everything, to herself.

Would Chiziru have escaped her fate without my intervention? Would she be able to escape from the blackmailing teacher by herself? What about Saki, would she be able to save herself just because I appeared in her life?

I don't think so.

That's why I was sorry.

At least, I should've warned her. Maybe tell her that if she ever faced such a situation, she could come to me and rely on me. I could've worried about her more, maybe even half of how worried I was for my girls when I was about to leave Japan would've been enough.

But I did not say sorry either.

Because an apology for the reason she did not know would be hollow. And I could not share why I was sorry either.

I did not say I forgive her. I did not apologize to her. Nor did I tell her I loved her.

Instead, I chose to act and I hoped my actions would speak louder than words. Because all of the things inside me needed a better medium than my voice.

I grabbed her hands. She trembled and her wine-red eyes locked on mine.

"Yuito?" She whispered and I went towards her soft voice. I aimed for the source which was her lips.

Then in a slow flow of motion, I claimed her lips. The lips which I came to learn had never known other men.

It was not a deep kiss or one with lust. It was just a small kiss, a brief peck that changed everything.

She was completely frozen in my arms.

After I kissed her, I pulled back so that i may look at her. In a world without words, eyes were everything as I focused on hers.

it took her a long time to come out of her shock. Her eyes never blinked and never needed to because they glazed over and huge droplets of tears fell down.

"What-" She was confused and she was hurting. "- did you do?"

She finally broke apart after saying that. Whatever was holding her together at this point came undone as she crashed into my chest.

Then she wailed, just like she did on that night.

She did not know what was happening because nothing was said. But my action of kissing her was so significant to her that it was enough to completely break her.

It's painful. I can see it in her eyes.

I embraced her.

She needed that because she grabbed on me as if she was drowning in an ocean and I was her only lifeline.

'Did you ever miss me?'

"I missed you." I said and she shook her head and buried herself deeper into my embrace

After three years of separation, I held my first love again. And in that moment I realized,

How much I missed her.

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[WALLPAPER IMAGE]

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Author : Again, I don't like edging my readers with cliff hanger.