A child who looks like me

Some days, even without any physical injuries, things take a turn for the worst.

Days when you run into people you never wanted to see again, only to find out that they’re doing just fine and don’t even remember you.

That day, seven years ago.

If only he hadn’t run into Kim Jin-gu, who’d been hauled into the police station for some horrible incident but was released without charges.

If only November 2 wasn’t his mother’s memorial day.

If only he hadn’t run into Jung Jiheon that day.

If he hadn’t, maybe nothing would have happened.

Late that night, after finishing work, Bae-il had stopped by a flower shop. He was already exhausted, and running into Kim Jin-gu had left him feeling raw. He was tired, but he instantly recognized Jiheon’s face.

It seemed Jiheon was preparing for a proposal.

Bae-il had ordered a bouquet, but the florist was focused solely on Jiheon’s order for the proposal flowers. Waiting for the florist to return, Bae-il stared at Jiheon for a long time. He wanted Jiheon to recognize him.

“The appointment is at three tomorrow, right? So if I come an hour early, it should be ready?”

“Yes, come by then.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow.”

But Jiheon didn’t recognize Bae-il. Jiheon seemed as if his head was filled only with thoughts of flowers.

Why can’t you remember me? I could never forget you. I couldn’t forgive you, and it was tearing me apart. My life has been a living hell.

He remembered the day his mother had passed. It had been her birthday.

Even at his new school, Bae-il had quickly stood out as a gifted student, and he brought an award from the science fair along with a small bouquet he’d bought with money borrowed from a friend. He visited her hospital room, only to find that she had closed her eyes for the last time before she could even see his award or flowers.

There are no words to describe the devastation of having the happiest day turn into the saddest.

The hatred he had repressed all those years surged back to life.

Bae-il clenched his fist, looking down at Jiheon’s proposal card.

Since his mother’s death, there had been no happiness in his life.

The grief of buying flowers and going to the columbarium on his mother’s birthday crushed his sanity.

Jung Jiheon, I hate you.

I hate you with everything I have, and I always will.

.*. *. *. *. *. *.

Kwon Bae-il was a man who carried a gun.

Even though she believed he wouldn’t use it, Jeong-oh couldn’t read his intentions, and she was frightened.

With her mother also in the house, she had to be careful. She couldn’t afford to provoke either her mother or Kwon Bae-il.

Sensing her fear, Bae-il unfastened his gun holster and set it on the counter. Meanwhile, Guk-soon, who had discreetly been inching toward a nearby knife, withdrew her hand in relief. Mother and daughter were each trying to protect the other.

Jeong-oh understood that Bae-il wanted to talk to her, but she couldn’t ask nicely.

“…Why did you do that to my child?”

Why did you try to take her?

Why did you hide that note to intimidate me? Why?

“Why did you do that?”

“Because I just wanted you to keep living as you were.”

“…”

“You were happy just the way things were.”

“…”

“You’re someone who could be perfectly happy without Jung Jiheon.”

Bae-il spoke each word with precision, without hesitation.

At the time, he’d been slightly mistaken. He believed that Chae Eun-bi was Jiheon’s fiancée, and he hadn’t wanted to see Jeong-oh get hurt.

He had spent more time observing Lee Jeong-oh than he had investigating Jung Jiheon. He’d wanted her to give up on Jiheon, to stay content with her child and mother.

Jeong-oh retorted bitterly.

“But Ye-na always wanted to see her dad. I always felt guilty toward her.”

The words brought a single tear down her cheek.

She glared at Bae-il briefly, then wiped her tears away.

Her mother was watching. Amid her fear, she wanted to keep her mother from being hurt, to preserve her faith in them both. She was willing to do anything to protect her family.

“It’s okay. It’s all in the past.”

She mustered the courage to speak.

“It makes me angry, but I can forgive it.”

“…”

“Because you seemed lost, too.”

I hope you’ll forgive yourself, too.

There were times I lost my way. After a struggle, I’d arrive somewhere that wasn’t the destination I’d intended. Some of those unplanned days turned out better. There were many.

Unexpected days can bring unhappiness, but happiness is there, too. Looking back, those unanticipated moments often turn out to be the best ones, better than days meticulously planned without a hitch.

I hope you come to know such a life. Regardless of any wounds you may have suffered, someone out there would want to comfort you. Don’t give up on happiness.

I was afraid, my heart pounding, but my genuine hope was that Bae-il would abandon all these dark thoughts. Sincerely, I urged him:

“So let’s start over. You can start over.”

“I can’t do that. Too much has already become part of the past.”

But Bae-il rejected Jeong-oh’s plea.

“Did Jiheon ever tell you?”

“…”

“Who was responsible for what happened to him seven years ago?”

Once again, her body tensed. This was a different matter. Her husband had suffered memory loss and trauma from an accident seven years ago. His abdominal scars still marked that time.

Was it possible that Kwon Bae-il was the one behind it all?

“If we’re talking about bad blood, it goes back 24 years. Back to when Jung Jiheon’s mother pressured my mother, stopping her from working at her restaurant.”

Bae-il continued in a calm tone.

“She couldn’t stand the thought of her son associating with someone like me. She didn’t just bar us from her restaurant—she prevented my mother from finding work anywhere in Seoul. I had to transfer schools. My mother struggled to make ends meet at her new job and eventually passed away. And I lost my own name.”

“…”

“I wanted Jiheon, of all people, to remember me. The same way his mother had relentlessly pursued and tormented my mother, I wanted Jiheon to remember and seek me out, to recognize my former name as well as my current one.”

His unhealed pain had turned into hatred.

The wild weeds that grew on barren mountains grew tough on their own, scratching anyone who approached.

“But Jiheon didn’t even remember me seven years ago. That’s all it took for things to turn out as they did.”

He’d hoped Jiheon might have some guilt in his heart, but Jiheon hadn’t even remembered him, which only made the hurt worse.

His revenge was complete.

He’d wanted to forget everything after that, to live out his days as a bad person for the crime he’d committed. But then he learned something unexpected.

The woman Jung Jiheon had intended to marry had a child. A new life, a daughter who had lost her father because of the incident Bae-il had caused. His long-standing hatred had ruined the lives of a woman and her child.

He felt a deep guilt and had watched over Lee Jeong-oh for a long time. Watching her slowly find happiness had brought him some peace.

He kept an eye on Jung Jiheon, too. Jiheon, despite his memory loss, seemed untroubled. Bae-il had heard that he’d grown somewhat ruthless in nature.

Jiheon’s mother was as unkind as ever. Jiheon was even close to Chae Eun-yeop and Chae Eun-bi, two notorious swindlers, unaware of what they had done to him.

So Bae-il had made a decision on his own: Jeong-oh didn’t need Jung Jiheon in her life. Jiheon would only bring her harm. He might even be a danger to her if influenced by Eun-yeop and Eun-bi. As things stood, she was happy, and that was enough.

But fate couldn’t be stopped.

Eventually, Jiheon had found Jeong-oh, and she had accepted him.

And Jiheon had changed after meeting her.

The Jiheon who had brushed past him seven years ago had returned, tilted his head in thought, and apologized for the events of 24 years ago.

At that moment, Bae-il realized how trivial his hatred had been.

All he’d ever wanted was a single word of apology, a gesture of comfort.

He also realized the terrible things he’d done, all because of that single apology he’d desired.

“So you don’t have to forgive me. Don’t feel obligated to say anything polite.”

Bae-il spoke calmly. He wanted to smile with the same ease he’d had moments earlier, but his expression wouldn’t obey.

“I’m sorry.”

With Jiheon, he felt a mix of guilt and resentment, but with Jeong-oh, he was simply sorry. His apology to Jeong-oh made him feel even sorrier toward Jiheon.

“I probably won’t get to see Jiheon. I came here to see both of you.”

“……”

“I left a USB drive on the side table. Think of it as my way of making amends. You can give it to Jiheon.”

With that, Bae-il finished speaking, grabbing his gun once more. Jeong-oh, who had been standing in a daze, took a startled step back as he approached. When she stepped aside, he was able to walk past her with a slow, steady stride.

He picked up his hat and went over to the kitchen to bow respectfully to Guk-soon.

“Ma’am, your cooking will stay with me even from far away. I’m sorry we couldn’t share a meal together.”

Seeing Guk-soon’s legs buckle as she clung to the counter, Jeong-oh quickly ran to her side. Bae-il, however, didn’t linger to witness the mother and daughter and, putting on his hat, went to the front door.

But then, the front door opened from the outside.

“Look! It’s the police officer!”

Ye-na shouted loudly.

The people entering were Ye-na, Do-bin, and Jin-seo. Jin-seo had brought Ye-na over to play.

Caught off guard, Bae-il swiftly took off his hat and held it behind him, as if hoping Ye-na wouldn’t recognize it and be shocked.

Do-bin greeted him with a loud voice.

“Hello, sir!”

“Hello.”

“Nice to see you here.”

Jin-seo greeted him warmly and then looked down to speak to Do-bin.

“Do-bin, didn’t you say you had something you wanted to tell the officer if you saw him again?”

Do-bin nodded and called out to Bae-il.

“Officer!”

“Yes, Do-bin?”

“I, uh, I ‘admile’ you, sir.”

“Hmm?”

Seeing that Bae-il didn’t seem to understand, Do-bin repeated it more clearly.

“I ‘admile’ you! Admire!”

At Do-bin’s words, Jin-seo winced, clearly embarrassed.

“Do-bin, it’s ‘admire’!”

“Oh! Right! I admire you! I want to be a police officer like you!”

“…I see. With such a strong voice, you’ll make a fine police officer.”

Bae-il patted Do-bin’s shoulder in encouragement. Just then, Ye-na shouted out too.

“Me too! Then I want to be a police officer too!”

“Ye-na wants to be a police officer too?”

Jin-seo asked, as Bae-il’s expression grew even more bewildered. Do-bin jumped up and down with excitement.

“Wow! Then we can meet up as police officers someday!”

“Yes! Let’s meet! It’s a promise!”

Ye-na made a pinky promise with Do-bin, then looked at Bae-il and said,

“Sir, I’ll come see you when I’m a police officer!”

The children’s little pinky fingers looked like red autumn leaves. As if facing the vivid colors of autumn leaves in a new season, Bae-il’s eyes began to glisten with tears.

***

Jiheon wanted to call the police but couldn’t—Bae-il was a police officer, after all.

He had alerted a private security guard, but they would arrive a few minutes later than him. All he could do was get home quickly and manage the situation himself. Praying nothing would happen, Jiheon pressed harder on the gas pedal.

Upon arriving in the apartment parking lot, he immediately called Jeong-oh.

[Hello?] The drained sound of her voice heightened Jiheon’s anxiety.

“Hey, Jeong-oh. Are you okay? Where’s Bae-il?”

[He left.] “He left?”

[Yes, he left.] “…I see. All right, I’ll be up soon.”

Bae-il might have left, but it was clear that something had happened. There was a chance Bae-il was luring him to the apartment by holding Jeong-oh hostage. Uneasy thoughts flooded Jiheon’s mind.

He jumped out of the car and ran towards the building entrance. Just then—

Screech!

A car that had been moving slowly nearby suddenly turned on its headlights and charged straight at him.

In that fleeting moment, every anxious thought vanished, leaving only one vivid image: the face of the woman he loved.

‘Jeong-oh.’

Had he told her he loved her enough?

He’d promised her they’d never be separated again.

Crash!

Unable to withstand the blinding light, Jiheon closed his eyes.

In the blink of an eye, the two cars collided and shattered.

At the crash site, there were three men.