A Cat, a Thief, and a Wizard

Tom led me and the deer through hallways and down stairs, all hidden from human view. Deep beneath the Menagerie main building, I spotted a pool through one of the ductwork grates.

"Is that where the washing machine familiar goes? What was his name–Wadsworth?" I asked Tom.

He paused and looked back at me. "Those are more words that I have never heard put together like that and I don't know what they mean. It makes a cat curious."

That was right, I couldn't think of familiars as just animals. Some of them were pretty sharp. Like Tom. I didn't give anything specific away, but I should be more careful. I should know better than to let my brain and my mouth be directly connected. I had a feeling this wasn't a new problem.

Tom's yellow eyes were piercing.

I shrugged and kept walking. I wasn't going to give this any weight. "When are cats not curious?"

Tom chuckled and kept pace with me. "Wadsworth does use the pool there. It has certain connections that he is interested in."

Wanting to keep Tom talking, so he wouldn't be thinking about me, I asked, "What kind of connections? Usually, I think those are for business. People you've met. I can't think of what kind of business a fish would get up to."

Tom chuckled. "You'd be surprised. Louis was quite the wheeler and dealer. But no. These are magical connections. We are heading to one now. You'll see."

"No kidding? How did Louis talk to air breathers?" I asked.

"I breathe air," said the little deer, his tone suggesting this was a revelation.

"He didn't bargain with air breathers. He traded for things from the deep sea, like strong, water-aspected mana stones. Here we are."

Tom led us into a room with no exit. It was a dusty and disused reading room. This room had been part of a suite for some high muckety-muck. Not the warden, but someone important. Now, the bookshelves were empty of books and filled with candle holders instead. There was a couch that had a broken leg, so the other three were sawed off to match. It had a sheet over half of it, and was completely covered in animal hair. On the far wall was a badly painted wardrobe.

I was about to question Tom when my whiskers trembled. I took a closer look at the wardrobe.

Tom chuckled. "I knew you'd notice right away."

It was subtle. The magic was there, and it was strong, but it wasn't in current use. Dormant, it was quiet. It felt familiar to me, so I got closer to it, trying to puzzle out the familiarity.

In rooms before closets were common, this was where you'd hang your long coats and fancy dresses, or whatever else was long and shouldn't be scrunched up in a drawer or chest. A wardrobe was fancy old people furniture.

An antiquity. That looked like it had been painted by a drunk child.

It was black paint at least, and not something psychedelic. It really looked like someone who had never heard of a paintbrush poured and smeared paint all over an otherwise beautiful piece of furniture. It was a travesty.

It was also pointless. "What does this have to do with 'broadening horizons,' Tom?" I asked.

"Ah, you can't tell? Pity," Tom said. He brushed past me and let his tail flick my ears teasingly on his way by.

I tried not to let my eyes roll out of my head.

Tom nosed the wardrobe open and waved a paw for us to climb inside.

It looked like an ordinary wardrobe to me. An empty one. But hey, if magical connections happened with random furniture, that was in keeping with crazy magic land. I hopped inside.

"I-I don't know about this," the little deer whispered. "I don't feel comfortable getting into a small space with predators."

"Ba'al," I said calmly. "We had this discussion already. Did you forget?"

"No." The deer looked from me to Tom and back. "Yes."

"Does this ever bother you?" I asked Tom. "That so many familiars don't have stairs that go all the way up?"

"I can walk up stairs! Better than big deer, too!" the little deer stated proudly.

I tapped my head with a paw. "I'm talking about these stairs. Thoughts. It's a metaphor."

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"Oh. I don't have stairs there," the deer said.

Tom sniggered. "I can see how other familiars might be troublesome for you. You have a very unusual way of speaking. It probably confuses them often."

"So it's a 'me problem'. Got it. Go on and get in the wardrobe, short stuff. We may as well get all cozy in the dark together." I hopped up in the wardrobe myself. And suddenly I knew where I recognized this from.

The inside of the wardrobe wasn't painted. It didn't have stain or anything else, either. And clear as day, I could see the star pattern in the wood grain on the bottom of the wardrobe. The same star pattern as the cafeteria tables in the dining hall at school.

This was dimensional magic. Those tables could receive teleported meals. This wardrobe was going to send us somewhere. In the back of my mind was the niggling little thought that you never let strangers take you to a secondary location.

"Where is this sending us, Tom? Is it still in the city, or somewhere else?"

Tom's expression lit up in surprise and appreciation. "You recognize the mana here? Delightful. We'll be staying in the city, more or less. We'll be beneath it."

"And we can get back the same way?" I asked. At Tom's affirmation, I turned to the deer. "Hurry it up or get left behind, short stuff. I want to see where this train is going." More importantly, I wanted to watch Tom activate it.

"Oh, okay." The deer hopped right up. Apparently he forgot he was scared.

"Can this send us anywhere we want to go? Can it only send in one direction? Are there more of these?" I had so many questions it took an effort to stop the flow long enough for Tom to answer.

Which he didn't fucking do.

He shut the door plunging us into pitch blackness. Even my cat eyes couldn't see through it. I don't know why I expected a light to come on, but it didn't. For a moment I was surprised, and during that moment Tom did whatever it was that he did to activate the wardrobe.

I could sense it though. He used mana, and as he used it he changed the type of mana it was.

He turned his mana into aspected mana like a talent.

I didn't recognize the aspects, so it wasn't anything simple like the elemental types. If I had to guess, it was probably dimension or space. Whatever the fuck space was.

I still need to get Kaban to use cool magic in front of me. I've only ever seen him use a sword. The primo professor of the space tower has to have neat powers, right?

Mana flooded the wardrobe and faded just as quickly.

"We're here," Tom said. He pushed the door open and jumped out.

I examined the spot Tom had been standing and tried to spot where he'd activated the teleportation wardrobe. I didn't see anything but empty wood grain.

I looked out the open door. We were now in a largish hall, and there were a bunch of familiars wandering about. Yup, definitely a teleportation wardrobe.

"Show me how you did that," I demanded of Tom.

"Nope." The asshole sat there, smirking. "Time to get out, leopard cub. We're going to meet the Gracious Lady."

"I mean it, show me."

"I want to meet the Gracious Lady," the little deer said. "She sounds nice."

"Oh, she is. She is what makes this whole operation possible. Close the door behind you so others can use the wardrobe." Tom headed off.

Putrid pocky sticks. I wasn't going to get a lesson in using teleportation magic or the wardrobe. I sat sullenly in the closet for a few seconds as Tom and the deer wandered off.

Fine, fine. I got a move on. And maybe I didn't shut the wardrobe like I'd been asked to. As I hopped down, I noticed a tingle. Another doorbell spell.

Tom led us out a doorway and onto a balcony. Down below in what I now realized was a cavern, was a battle arena. Like an underground coliseum, battle arena. Like pit fights, gladiator battles, and pokemon gyms.

As soon as I thought it I wondered what a pokemon was. Fuck if I knew. But I knew what a gladiator was. What shit. I hated how arbitrary my memory was. I needed to stop thinking about that before I got stabby.

I stopped to get a better look at the arena. I was dimly aware of Tom and the deer stopping too.

This looked almost identical to the school arena. It had sigils all along the walls, the sand floor, and the doors that I presumed would be locker rooms and showers. The bleachers surrounded the whole arena instead of just half of it, and there was no place for the tree thing that was at the school arena. No worries. I doubted the familiars down there cared about measuring magic talents.

They were doing a different kind of measuring, because there was blood in that sand.

"Is this what the familiars from the Menagerie are doing, Tom? Is this what 'broadening their horizons' is? Pit fights?" I don't think I kept my anger or contempt out of my voice. I certainly wasn't trying to hide it.

"Yes. And it is completely voluntary. The benefits are amazing for those who want to be more than they are." Tom walked up next to me and looked down in the arena. "I can guarantee you, not a single familiar has been killed here."

"That's so reassuring. No death, just pain, injury, maiming. Is this really voluntary? Or is it more voluntold? How much choice are the participants really given?"

"Completely voluntary, as I said. Most of the familiars here compete for opportunities to fight in the arena. The rewards are certainly worth it."

What could possibly be valuable enough to a familiar to risk injury or death? Not money or stuff, certainly. The bottom line was they were animals. They were not materialistic the way humans were.

"But never mind that for now," Tom said. "Let me show you the Gracious Lady first, and then I'll explain the whole process."

Tom led us to the end of the arena and up a flight of stairs. Every familiar we passed was happy to greet Tom, and he was friendly in turn.

At the far end of the seating section, Tom led us into what would have been a VIP box. In there was a statue of a woman bending down, looking like she was offering her hand to a dog so she could pet it. On her outstretched hand a brown collar lay on her palm, and in the other hand she held a crystal staff. She wore a jeweled circlet carved into the stone, and a flower necklace. The snake bracers, the boots, the flame motif ring. It was all there.

She was carved in stone, and all that she wore was also carved from stone. But there was no mistake.

This woman was wearing the regalia of the Flower Empress.