Chapter 41 - Spilling the Beans
The first day at the university was a pleasantly busy one. After breakfast together in the dining room, where Valentina constantly attracted curious glances, they spent the morning in the library. Together with Crispin, Valentina and Innogen studied the courses on offer for the new academic year, compared their interests and thought back and forth about their timetables.
"Professor Whitehall offers several advanced courses in medical Essence application," Valentina remarked enthusiastically. "That would be perfect after my time at Greystone Hospital."
Crispin nodded eagerly. "And Professor Veilford is doing a course in which he talks about the vibration resonance theory we worked on in the summer. You really must take it, Val!"
The three of them stayed together all day, wandering through the familiar corridors of the university and eating lunch together. Innogen and Valentina exchanged meaningful glances several times when topics of conversation came up that they would have preferred to discuss in private, but neither of them had the heart to send Crispin away – his enthusiasm to have them back with him was too infectious, too sincere. And they genuinely enjoyed being together as well.
As the afternoon sun began to set over Bridgewater, they finally said goodbye to each other. Crispin hurried off to a preparatory meeting with Professor Veilford, while Valentina returned to her attic room to undertake the major cleaning she had hastily begun the day before. Dusting and removing cobwebs, she waited for darkness to fall and for Innogen's promised night-time visit, when they could finally talk undisturbed.
The first hour of the new day was heralded by the bell when a soft knock sounded on Valentina's door. She was still awake, sitting on her bed and leafing through one of the medical books Master Wilford had given her.
"Ah, your noble friend is punctual," Vyxara remarked with amusement. "As befits a lady."
Valentina rose and opened the door. Innogen stood there, wrapped in a silk robe, with a bottle of wine in one hand and a bundle wrapped in a cloth in the other. Her golden hair was braided into a loose plait and her eyes sparkled with excitement.
"I saved seconds from dinner," she whispered conspiratorially, holding up the bundle. "And I was saving this wine for a special occasion. I think the evening qualifies."
Valentina smiled broadly and stepped aside to let her friend in. Innogen slipped inside and took a quick look around the tiny, now tidy but completely cluttered room.
"By all the flames of the Martyr, how did you manage to fit all your new possessions in here?"
"With a lot of creativity and a pinch of desperation," Valentina replied dryly and closed the door behind her friend.
Innogen spread the cloth on the small table and revealed a miniature feast: crusty bread, a small wheel of cheese, dried apricots and even a few of the delicious honey cakes that were usually only baked on special occasions.
"How did you smuggle all that out of the kitchen?" asked Valentina, impressed.
"Oh, Cook Maud has a soft spot for me," Innogen replied with a twinkle in her eye. "I've promised her I'll weave her a little Essence pattern to make her work easier."
She sat down on the bed and patted the mattress next to her. Valentina fetched two simple pewter cups from her shelf and Innogen poured the dark red wine, whose fruity aroma immediately filled the small room.
"To being together again," said Innogen, raising her cup. "And to all the stories you're going to tell me now."
They drank, and Valentina felt how the wine – a wonderful wine – spread a pleasant warmth through her body.
"So," Innogen began, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Now that Crispin isn't here and no one can overhear us – tell me the real story. About you and the duke."
Valentina took another sip of wine. "Where do I start?"
"With the duke, of course!" Innogen's voice was an excited whisper. "I know his reputation and I saw the way he looked at you after the banquet in honor of your triumph at the Greystone Competition. The whole university is already rumoring that you're his... protégé." She emphasized the last word meaningfully.
"Oh yes, his 'protégé'," Vyxara echoed with a mental giggle. "Such a polite term for 'the woman who lies in his sheets every night'."
Valentina ignored the demon and made a decision. Innogen was her closest friend, a sister in everything but blood. If there was anyone she could trust, it was her.
"He's not just my patron, of course, Innogen," she said quietly. "I am his mistress."
Innogen nodded slowly, showing no surprise. "That's what I thought. The brooch, the ring, the clothes... Those aren't just gifts from a generous patron."
Valentina was relieved that her friend didn't seem shocked. "It started gradually, deliberately on his part" she said. "He invited me to dinner, gave me books, made me beautiful presents, let me take part in his conversations. He never pushed me or forced me. It was... my decision to accept his advances."
"And the duchess?" Innogen asked cautiously.
"She knows, of course. There are no secrets from the duchess at her court." Valentina broke off a piece of bread and chewed thoughtfully. "She's amazing. Cool, but not unfriendly. If I'm honest, I even admire her a little. She asked me to come with her to parliament in Vandercourt next summer as her second lady-in-waiting."
Innogen's eyes widened. "The parliament? Val, this is... this is an incredible opportunity! The entire elite of the realm will gather there. My father will be there too."
"I know." Valentina took another sip of wine. "The duchess said it would be the perfect arrangement – officially I would simply be her lady-in-waiting, but I would have access to the highest circles."
"And unofficially, you would still be the duke's mistress," Innogen added thoughtfully. "That's... very well thought out."
"She's a pragmatic woman." Valentina hesitated. "She and the duke have an... an agreement. As long as he is discreet and respects certain boundaries – and his... women as well – she tolerates his dalliances."
Innogen shook his head in disbelief. "The reality of a noble marriage seems to be really different from what I learned and imagined as a child."
"The duchess told me that love is a luxury that only a few can afford. For her, marriage is a political alliance, a partnership to maintain and increase power."
"That sounds so cold," Innogen murmured.
Valentina shrugged her shoulders. "Perhaps. But they seem happy in their own way. They have respect for each other, share common goals. That's more than many marriages offer."
"So wise for your age," Vyxara scoffed lightly. "Almost like you have an ancient demon in your head whispering insights to you."
Valentina suppressed a smile and continued: "The duke is... complicated. Brilliant, charismatic, but also dangerous in his way."
"Dangerous?"
Valentina thought back to the night of her birthday, to his calculated cruelty when he had confronted her with the news of Lorenzo's marriage proposal during their lovemaking. The pain was still there, even if it was already beginning to fade.
"He doesn't like uncertainty, no unknowns," she explained carefully. "He needs absolute control. If he loses it, or thinks he's going to lose it... he can be cruel."
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Innogen looked at her attentively. "Did he hurt you?"
"Not physically. But..." Valentina searched for the right words. "He's found ways to show me that I'm his. On his terms."
There was a brief silence while Innogen processed what had been said. Then she refilled her cups.
"And how is it... with him?" she asked, her cheeks slightly flushed. "In bed, I mean."
Valentina couldn't help but laugh. "He is experienced," she replied with a wry smile. "Very experienced. And surprisingly tender, most of the time."
"Most of the time?"
"Sometimes he likes it... more dominant."
Innogen blushed even more, took a large sip of wine and coughed slightly. "And... do you like it? With him?"
"Now it's getting interesting," Vyxara purred, amused.
"Yes," Valentina admitted honestly. "I really like it. He knows exactly what he's doing. And there's a certain... satisfaction in seeing such a powerful man at my feet, if only for a moment."
Innogen giggled nervously, "I can imagine."
Valentina swayed the wine in her cup. "There's something else you should know. About the duke and... his circle."
"What do you mean?"
"He has an inner circle – close friends, advisors, former lovers. They... share certain... pleasures."
Innogen's eyes widened. "Amusements?"
Valentina nodded slowly. "Private parties. Debaucherous little games. Sometimes... lovers are exchanged. Or shared."
"By all the flames of the Martyr!" whispered Innogen, one hand over her mouth. "And you have...?"
"Participated? Yes." Valentina held Innogen's gaze. "Not for everything, but for some things."
Innogen stared at her, speechless with surprise and... something else. Curiosity? Horror? It was hard to tell.
"She's intrigued," Vyxara remarked. "Underneath all that noble reserve, your little friend is quite curious."
"Were there... other women as well? In this circle?" Innogen finally asked, her voice barely audible.
Valentina hesitated briefly. "Yes. Lady Celestine, for example – a widow and... former mistress of the duke. She was... particularly interested in me."
"Interested... you mean... and did you...?" Innogen left the question hanging unfinished, but the meaning was clear.
"Once," Valentina admitted. "It was different than with a man. Gentler, somehow. She knew exactly where and how to touch me."
Innogen suddenly averted her eyes, her fingers clasped around the cup. "The Church of the Martyr says that such acts between women are sinful," she said stiffly. "That they are against the natural order."
Valentina blinked in surprise. Of all the things she had told Innogen – about the duke, the inner circle, the shared lovers – this of all things had shocked her friend?
"Interesting," Vyxara murmured thoughtfully. "Very interesting."
"What's wrong, Innogen?" Valentina asked gently. "You were never particularly pious or strict on moral issues."
"I'm not..." Innogen broke off, staring into her wine. "It's just... very strange to hear."
Something about Innogen's reaction gave Valentina pause. There was more than just moral unease in her friend's voice.
"Leave her be," Vyxara advised unusually gently. "Some realizations need time."
Puzzled, Valentina decided to change the subject. "Be that as it may, I never had another opportunity to accept Lady Celestine's advances. And then it was time for me to return to Bridgewater."
Innogen visibly relaxed. "You still have to tell me about Lorenzo," she said, with a carefully neutral voice. "My father has been hinting again that he would be a good match for me."
Valentina felt a pang at the mention of Lorenzo. She thought of their last night in Dusktown, of the chestnut tree, of what they had shared. But that was a memory she would never reveal – not even to Innogen.
"Lorenzo is... a good man," she said carefully. "Kind, intelligent, talented as Essence Weaver. He works at the Greystone Hospital. We've worked together a lot there. He has a real talent for healing." She smiled slightly. "You could do worse, Innogen. Much worse."
"But is he... nice?" Innogen asked hesitantly. "As a person, I mean."
"Very," Valentina replied honestly. "He has a soft heart underneath all that stiff aristocratic upbringing. He's considerate, thoughtful. He would never intentionally hurt anyone."
"That sounds too good to be true," Innogen said skeptically. "What's the catch?"
Valentina shrugged her shoulders. "He'll always be in his father's shadow for as long as his father lives. And perhaps beyond that. The duke is... overwhelming. And he has very specific ideas about what he expects of his son."
"Ah." Innogen nodded understandingly. "I can relate to that."
There was a brief silence while both women sipped their wine and pursued their own thoughts.
"You know," Innogen finally said, "sometimes I wonder why I'm even here. At the university, I mean. All these courses, all this knowledge – what's the point? In the end, I'm just going to get married and have children."
The pain in her voice was unmistakable. Valentina reached for her hand and squeezed it gently.
"It's your knowledge, Innogen. Whatever happens, whatever the future brings – no one can take away what you learn here. It is a part of you."
Innogen looked down at their entwined hands. "Oh, I envy you so much, Val. You have so much more freedom than I do. Even as a duke's mistress, you have more leeway to make your own decisions than I do as his potential daughter-in-law."
"Life has strange ways of throwing us around sometimes," Valentina agreed. She thought of all the circumstances that had led her here – her family's poverty, her first year in Bridgewater, her visit to Dusktown, her relationship with the duke, her... partnership with Vyxara. A complex weave of ambition, fate and choices.
"My father has indicated that a concrete offer from House Greystone will not be long in coming," Innogen said quietly. "And he will probably accept it. Preparations are already underway. I could be engaged to Lorenzo as early as next summer."
There, that pang again. "How does that make you feel?"
"Resigned, for the most part." Innogen smiled thinly. "It is the way of things. An Ashbourne marries as it benefits her family. It has always been that way."
"And if you turn it down?"
Innogen laughed bitterly. "Then my father breaks the alliance with House Greystone, risks a political crisis, and marries me off to the first aging widower he comes across instead, just to prove he's in control." She shook her head. "No, if I have to, I prefer Lorenzo. At least he seems... tolerable."
Valentina suppressed the impulse to tell Innogen about Lorenzo's marriage proposal, about his obvious affection for her. That would be cruel and wouldn't help anyone.
"I promise you something," she said instead. "Whatever happens, I'll be there for you. If you need me, I'll come. If you need help, I'll help. If you need a way out... I'll help you find one."
Innogen looked at her with wet eyes. "The same goes for you, Val. Always."
They hugged each other tightly and Valentina felt the warmth of the friendship that bound them together. When they broke away, Innogen yawned heartily. "It's late," she mumbled, suddenly exhausted from the wine and the long day.
"Stay here," Valentina offered. "The bed is narrow, but we'll both fit in."
Innogen nodded gratefully. They slipped under the covers, snuggled close together against the cold of the night. Valentina switched off the lamp and darkness enveloped the small room.
"Thank you for telling me everything," Innogen whispered in the dark. "It means a lot to me that you trust me so much."
"Of course I trust you," Valentina replied softly. "You're like another sister to me, Innogen."
Silently, however, Valentina felt a twinge of regret. She hadn't confided everything to her friend. Not Vyxara, not the forbidden books, not her last night with Lorenzo. Some secrets were too dangerous to share, even with those she loved the most.
"A wise decision," Vyxara murmured in her thoughts. "Some secrets are better kept when they live only in one heart."