4 x Love

As I stepped back into the bustling gym, the atmosphere buzzed with post-event excitement. Students lingered in small clusters, chatting and laughing about the night's highlights. The music had shifted to a more laid-back tune, a perfect backdrop for the fading festivities.

My mind was still reeling from what had just transpired outside. Natsumi's smile and her words echoed in my thoughts, but so did Erika's insistence on keeping the facade alive. There had to be a way to navigate both paths without hurting anyone—or myself. 

Scanning the gym, I spotted Erika mingling with a few friends near the snack table, her laughter ringing out above the others. I could see the determination in her eyes, the burning desire to keep our ruse going strong. But what about Natsumi? I couldn't help but wonder if her earlier smile had masked deeper feelings that could easily be hurt.

My internal turmoil was interrupted by footsteps approaching from behind. It was Akira, a confident grin plastered across his face. "Hey, Ryota! Great job tonight, man! You really played your part well."

"Thanks," I replied, forcing a smile as I thought about how my performance was becoming more complicated by the minute. "Did you have fun?"

"Definitely! But I was a little surprised to see you with Erika like that," he said, leaning in slightly. "You two making it official or something?"

"Not exactly," I said, deliberately keeping my tone casual. "Just helping her out with a school project, that's all."

Akira raised an eyebrow, clearly not entirely convinced. "Right, but you know how these things go. People get ideas, especially when they see a cute girl like her hanging out with you. Just keep your head on straight."

I nodded, appreciating his advice even as it added to my growing anxiety. 

Before I could respond, I caught sight of Natsumi again, standing by the edge of the dance floor with a couple of her friends. She looked relaxed, yet I could sense an underlying tension in her posture. My heart raced as I fought off the urge to approach her immediately. 

"Hey, I should check in with Erika," I said to Akira, who nodded and waved me off as he headed toward a group of girls.

I made my way to Erika, who was now engaged in animated conversation. "… and that's when I told him, if you want to be part of this group, you're going to have to step it up!" She noticed me approach and smiled brightly. "Oh hey, Ryota! Join us!"

I stepped into the circle, but my thoughts were elsewhere. "Erika," I said, trying to keep my tone light, "can we talk for a minute?"

Her smile faded slightly, curiosity replacing it. "Sure! What's up?"

We moved to a quieter corner of the gym, the noise fading to a dull hum as I felt the weight of my next words. "I'm starting to feel the pressure of our plan, especially after tonight. It's becoming more complicated now that Natsumi is involved."

Erika crossed her arms, her posture shifting. "Complicated how? You promised to help me with this, Ryota."

I sighed, the internal conflict bubbling to the surface. "I know, I did. But there's something between me and Natsumi that I can't ignore. I think she likes me, and I—"

"Ryota!" she interjected, her tone suddenly sharper. "You can't just throw all of this away. You know how important it is for me to keep up appearances. If people think you and I are together, it'll give us both a boost socially."

"But what about my feelings?" I protested, frustration building inside me. "I can't pretend to be in a relationship with you when I'm interested in someone else!"

Erika's expression softened, but I could sense the realization that our plans might be unraveling. "I get it, I do. Just give it some time. This event is crucial for both of us, and Natsumi will understand eventually. People change, right? Sometimes it's just about riding it out."

"I don't want to lead anyone on," I said, my voice quieter now. "You or her."

"Just keep things as they are for now," Erika said, injecting a sense of determination back into her tone. "After all, if we maintain our positions, it could come in handy later. Think of it as a strategic move."

Before I could respond, I spotted Natsumi again, chatting with her friends, laughing casually. My heart pulled. This wasn't just about strategy or status; it was about being honest. 

"I... I need to think about this more," I said, turning back toward Erika. "I'm sorry."

I walked away, heading toward Natsumi. Each step felt heavier than the last as I approached her. The closer I got, the more apprehensive I became. What would I say? Would I even know how to express what I felt?

When I reached her, I tried to calm my racing heart. "Hey, Natsumi!"

She turned, her expression warming instantly. "Hey, Ryota! I was hoping to catch you before you left. Did you have a good time?"

"It was great!" I said, feeling the shadow of my earlier conversation linger. "But can we talk? Like, really talk?"

She nodded, her expression shifting to intrigue. "Sure! Let's step outside again."

As we made our way back outside, the night air felt refreshing, a welcomed contrast to the charged atmosphere inside. We found a quieter spot, illuminated by the soft glow of streetlights.

"What's on your mind?" Natsumi asked, curiosity glimmering in her eyes.

"I just wanted to be clear about what's happening," I began, my throat tightening with nerves. "About me and you… and Erika."

Her expression turned serious. "I'm all ears."

"I don't want to lead you on or make things more complicated. I like you, Natsumi—really like you. But I'm caught up in this situation with Erika, too. I don't want to mess things up with either of you."

Natsumi's gaze softened, and a small smile crept across her face. "I appreciate you being honest. I like you too, Ryota. But is this really about being with Erika, or is it more about the expectations and how things look from the outside?"

I paused, contemplating her words. Maybe it was easier to play along than confront the reality of my feelings for her. But standing here with Natsumi, everything felt clearer.

"I think it's both," I admitted. "But… I'd rather pursue what's real over what's expected. I just need to figure out how to navigate this."

She nodded slowly, understanding radiating from her. "Whatever happens, I'm here to support you. Just remember that you're not alone in this."

As I spoke, relief washed over me. It was no longer just about managing appearances but embracing authenticity, even in its uncertainty. 

"Thanks, Natsumi," I said softly, feeling the warmth of her support. "It means a lot that you understand."

Just then, the gym doors swung open again, and shouts of laughter filled the night air. I turned to see Erika looking around, scanning the crowd. I knew that our game of pretense couldn't last forever. Choices lay before me, and I felt the weight of each one.

"Let's head back," Natsumi said, breaking me from my thoughts. "I don't want you to feel more pressure from Erika."

"Sounds good," I replied, taking a deep breath. 

As we walked back, side by side, I felt the beginnings of clarity settle in. This was just the start of a journey that promised to be anything but predictable. The night was far from over, and tomorrow would bring its own challenges, but for now, I felt ready to face whatever lay ahead.