The Villainess Whom I Had Served for 13 Years Has Fallen

Chapter 40: The Woman Who Sees His Secret (3)

The black spots that had covered her skin began to crawl over Ricardo’s hands.

Arms and back.

Legs and shoulders.

To the chest and abdomen.

As the black spots spread across Ricardo's body at a slow pace, the ones remaining on her body began to fade.

"…Is this it?"

Watching the scene, I murmured as if under a spell.

"Is this the secret you've been hiding…?"

My breathing quickened.

It was happening right before my eyes, the thing I'd barely dared consider. I couldn’t stop the rush of bad thoughts.

My hands trembled.

I thought that no nightmare could be scarier than this moment. Even the one where I had died before, didn't seem as frightening as this. "Ricardo… what are you doing?"

Holding me tightly in his arms, Ricardo started to absorb the rampaging magic. His shoulders were shaking as he clenched his teeth to soak up the tainted magic.

Dark magic is a convenient kind of magic that can produce powerful effects with just one medium.

Supernatural powers or

Things that can't be done with magic.

And also a powerful means of attack.

Unlike magic that requires formulas, computations, and magical energy, dark magic can produce powerful effects with just a medium.

Because that is the reason for dark magic’s existence.

Dark magic that exhibits overwhelming effects with only strong magic power or sacrifices.

At that time, I had invoked dark magic as collateral for my magic power.

If it wasn't for her twisted personality, she would have been chosen as the next head of the Desmond family with the substantial magical power that she now used as a medium for dark magic just to win the heart of one man.

If such tremendous power becomes corrupt and goes berserk, it would create a pain as if a bomb had exploded inside the body.

It would sear hotly inside with a ‘boom.'

And start burns from deep within with a ripping pain, ‘bang.' And the necrotizing skin would be wounded beyond recovery.

In the end. It would lead to death.

If I wasn't a fool, I couldn't be unaware of what Ricardo was doing. No, I shouldn't be unaware.

It was like he was absorbing all the sequelae of black magic, similar to ancient Eastern cupping therapy that drew out pooled blood.

Faced with the unbelievable situation, I said to Ricardo.

"What are you doing…?"

I tried to grab Ricardo’s shoulder with the intention of making him stop, but a blue barrier prevented me from touching him.

[You're a spectator. You cannot interfere with the subject.]

I couldn't touch him.

"Don't stop me…"

I whined at the inconsiderate blue barrier, but as always, it only repeated that I couldn't interfere.

I bit my lip and said,

"Don’t stop me…"

I couldn't stop the foolish acts of that man.

I could only watch from the side.

Even as Ricardo cried tears of pain, and my heart raced as if it was going mad, I could do nothing but watch.

It felt as if a torn heart was being wounded again. Watching Ricardo's injury seemed to rip open a huge gash in my tattered heart.

I screamed at Ricardo.

"What do you think you’re doing?"

Even though I knew my voice couldn't reach Ricardo, I felt like I'd go mad if I didn't do at least this.

My voice trembled,

And strength left my legs.

My breath quivered.

The sight of Ricardo's arms turning black and his complexion growing pale was terrifying.

The past me had buried her face on Ricardo's shoulder.

-Michail.

…

-Michail… My body is so hot.

-I’m sorry. That's because… I rushed over too quickly…

‘Why is he speaking to me like that…?'

I hadn't done anything for him.

Why is he caring so tenderly for me, when all I knew was to get angry? If it were me… If I were him, I would not have acted like this.

If Ricardo was lying on the ground using black magic like me… could I do what he’s doing now? No, I couldn't. I wouldn't be able to.

Tears flowed endlessly.

"So please… stop!"

Stop it.

I wanted to believe it was just the leftover traces of black magic.

I wished the direct cause wasn't me, like chocolate sticking to my hands. Even if it was my fault, I wished it was just a small nuisance, like a crumb.

Maybe then I could lift my head just a little.

But this.

This was real.

-Haah… Haah…

There was no way to escape.

Strength drained from my legs.

In front of panting Ricardo, I buried my face in my knees and wept.

I couldn't look.

I didn't want to look.

Because I knew how much pain Ricardo would be in, because I had seen myself dying. Even though it was only for a moment, I had experienced that terrible pain, and it had left my body like this.

I couldn’t look.

The agony of flesh burning.

The terrible scorching pain, along with the painful disintegration of magic circuits, tearing apart the body—I knew all too well that all this was happening to Ricardo without pause.

"Don’t do it, you fool…!"

I crouched down, shaking my head from side to side.

"Waaahh…. Whaaahhh…"

Ricardo clenched his teeth, enduring the pain. He didn’t stop stroking the head of the past self that had buried her face in his shoulder, speaking with a shaking voice.

-Does it hurt a lot?

-Yes. It hurts a lot. But now it hurts just a little.

-That’s a relief. Really.

I clenched my fists.

I wiped away unceasing tears and a runny nose with my sleeves, bit my lip, and raised my head.

I had to look.

I had to remember with my own eyes so I could apologize when I returned. Though my heart felt like it would burst, and tears obscured my vision, I had to face the truth in this moment.

Only then could I ask for forgiveness and know where the pain was.

Ricardo wouldn’t show me.

Even if I pleaded and cried, foolishly hiding his wounds with a smile.

I clenched my teeth and moved my crouching legs.

I had to look up close.

That was the only way to know.

When I reached Ricardo once again, I took a deep breath. I vowed not to miss anything, to etch everything into my memory.

I sniffled, sucking back the tears, determined to apologize to Ricardo when I returned and to resolve to do better in the future.

"I can do this."

I had seen how horribly I was destroyed.

I had witnessed Ricardo's pain as well. I told myself I wouldn't be surprised anymore. I firmly promised that.

But soon after, witnessing what followed, I moved reflexively as if my film had been cut.

-Cough…

"Uh…?"

Blood flowed.

From Ricardo's mouth.

A small cough burst like a dam, and the fresh blood dripped down Ricardo's chin.

Ricardo's eyes went wide.

Apparently, he didn't know this would happen either, as he continued to cough, his shoulders heaving.

-Cough.. Cough…

I couldn't hold onto my rationality.

-Oh… this is bad.

Ricardo covered his mouth with his hand, coughing and trembling as if in pain.

-Cough… Cough.. Ugh.. Ah. Haah.. Haah..

-Michail, does it hurt?

-No.. Cough.. It's nothing. Nothing at all.

As the past me nestled in his embrace tried to turn her head, Ricardo pressed the back of her head with his right hand to keep her face buried in his shoulder. He held her head with one hand to stop her from looking back and covered his mouth with the other.

Watching this scene, the present me desperately grabbed at Ricardo's arm, pressing on the back of the head.

Even if my hand was flung away.

Even if I passed through like a ghost.

I struggled with all my might, like a madwoman, to pull away Ricardo's arm.

"Let go…!"

[You are a spectator. You cannot interfere with the subject.]

"Let go, I said!"

[You are a spectator. You cannot interfere with the subject.]

"You madman, let… let.. let go… please…!"

[You are a spectator. You cannot interfere with the subject.]

"Let go… Please…!"

As time passed, Ricardo's complexion turned deathly pale.

Shaking like a leaf in the wind.

His eyes losing focus.

If only that hand could be removed.

If he stopped holding onto the crazy woman calling Michail’s name in his embrace, he wouldn’t have to suffer like this.

What's so pretty about me.

Why does he did that for me, someone who was only stubborn and prone to anger… My heart felt like it was going to burst.

I couldn't find any answers.

"Don’t do it, you fool…!"

He was decaying.

His right hand was losing its vitality, turning black.

The spreading black spots heated the flesh they touched, leaving raw wounds all over, and Ricardo’s magical circuits were tangled like a knotted thread ball.

The image of Ricardo breaking apart.

It wasn't pleasant to watch.

I felt so pitiful for being unable to do anything and for feeling so helplessly stupid.

I clung to Ricardo and cried. I cried like mad and kept on crying.

"Don’t… Just don’t…!"

Ricardo bit his lip.

He muttered in a voice too soft for me to hear.

-This really hurts quite a bit.

-It must have hurt a lot.

-It’s truly a relief… that I got here.

No real answer came forth.

My mind went blank, as if bleached white, and I couldn't articulate words. I was just dumbly shedding tears.

Every time I saw Ricardo's trembling hand, struggling to breathe, I remembered the things I had done in the past.

-You smell.

-Do I smell bad?

-Yeah. It’s atrocious. Like something rotting.

Words that I said in anger not long after my legs were ruined returned to me like stabbing knives.

-Get lost.

-I'll make sure to clean myself thoroughly.

-You're filthy, commoner.

I recalled how, after that day, Ricardo would douse himself in lilac perfume, overwhelming to the point of dizziness.

Olivia clenched her fist at the sight.

"Ah…"

So that was why.

The strong perfume.

The long shirts he always wore.

The sudden grip on my wrist, pulling me out of the room.

It was all because of me.

I knelt on the floor and pressed my forehead to the ground.

I bent over and clutched at my heart as if I was going mad.

"Huuk… Whaa… It hurts.. It hurts… My chest hurts so much…"

What is this?

What the hell is this…

I didn’t know it could hurt like this.

"It hurts so much…"

I couldn’t raise my head.

"I’m sorry…"

I am sorry I was so unworthy.

"I didn’t know it would end up like this…"

I didn’t know you’d be in such pain.

"I’m truly sorry…"

Amidst the sobs, holding onto my chest, Ricardo’s voice filled the room.

A low and serene voice.

A soft soliloquy laced with slight questioning sounded calmly.

-Maybe I can survive this.

Not a word to himself.

But to his hopelessly pathetic master.

I was just silently crying. That was all I could do.

***

It was blood.

Everywhere was soaked with blood.

The past me was nestled in Ricardo's embrace, breathing smoothly in sleep, while Ricardo, with his head bowed, was stroking my sleeping head.

Blood dripped from his pajamas.

His whole body was drenched in it.

And his face smeared with fatigue.

His lips were cracked like a desert.

His right hand, baring bone, was dripping with red blood.

I said,

"You always said you couldn’t bear the pain…"

I said it while weeping.

"You said you couldn’t bear the pain."

I resented Ricardo so much, for stroking the peacefully sleeping version of me, not letting out even a slight scream.

Even if the veins were about to burst.

Even if black magic engulfed his body.

Even if the backlash to the magic caused burns on his skin, he endured silently and whispered it was going to be okay.

I hated him so much.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

Ricardo touched the cheek of the sleeping me, and a small smile appeared on his lips.

-I’m thankful that you're still alive.

With those words, the long nightmare came to an end.

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